God Couldn’t Be Everywhere, So He Created Grandmas

Posted on January 26, 2011 by viviankirkfield

GOD COULDN’T BE EVERYWHERE

SO HE CREATED GRANDMAS

This plaque hangs in my kitchen. It was given to me by my daughter, after her son was born. It is so very meaningful to me, and I smile every time I pass it by, not only because I’m thrilled to be a grandma to one of the world’s most adorable, smart, sweet, loving, handsome, and wonderful little boys in the world, but also because it brings back my memories of my own grandmother.

If I close my eyes, I can still see her, sitting in her antique rattan rocking chair, arms outstretched, ready to enfold any child in need of love and a listening ear.

This amazing woman cherished children and was always eager to praise your drawing made at school even though the people were stick figures and the trees were lopsided, listen to you practice the piano no matter how many wrong notes you hit, or just hold you. She was a role model for Positive Parental Participation in an era before experts were encouraging parents to spend quality time with their children.

When I was ten years old, a wonderful thing happened. My family moved into my grandmother’s house! She was getting older and my parents and my aunts and uncles were uncomfortable having her live on her own. I don’t know how easy it was for my parents to coexist in this multi-generational home, but for my sister and me…it was heaven! Now we could have access to this very special person on a daily basis, not just on weekend visits.

My favorite time was early Sunday mornings. My parents and sister would sleep a little later, but my grandmother was an early riser. I would tip-toe downstairs to the kitchen where I would find her, drinking coffee and dipping her dry bread into it. She would take down an old porcelain cup, pour in a splash of coffee and fill it to the rim with milk and hand it to me. Starbucks’ lovers…eat your hearts out…there is no coffee drink available today that can compare to that nectar from the gods. 😉

After we finished our petit dejeuner or little breakfast, my grandmother would go to the pantry (yes, a real old-fashioned pantry that was like a walk-in closet) and get out bowls, flour, sugar and various other ingredients and we would spend the next few hours preparing apple pies and other amazing dishes. Perhaps that is where I learned my love of cooking and baking and it is definitely one of the reasons I included a cooking activity with each story recommendation in my book for parents of preschoolers. I understand how important it is to participate positively with young children and encouraging your child to help in the kitchen will build self-esteem and create a life-long parent-child bond.

I have two stories to relate about my grandmother…she was only human, after all. One shows that she didn’t always use commonsense, and the other…well, if it happened today and the authorities found out about it, she would probably be in jail. But, it was another time and people had a different mind-set about parenting. Stop by tomorrow to find out about “curtains for dinner” and “the new car that lost its side-mirrors”.

Bedtime…Routines, Rituals and Can I Have One More Glass of Water, Please!!!

Posted on January 24, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image by National Media Museum via Flickr

I can remember wanting to stay up later when I was a child. And when my children were small, each had their own way of trying to put off going to bed. So I’m sure that many parents today have the same problem…some things just don’t change.

SO HOW CAN YOU GET YOUR CHILDREN TO GO TO BED

WITH NO FUSS OR MUSS?

Unfortunately, I can’t give you any guarantees, but I can offer a few simple steps that worked for me.

1. Provide a balanced and harmonious day…children need to get outside to play if the weather permits…fresh air and physical activity are essential. Indoor play can include arts and crafts, music and rhythms (put on your favorite CD while you and your child dust and dance through the house), puzzles and stories. Just make sure there is a balance of activities during the day. A child who is just sitting around watching TV all day will definitely NOT be ready to go to sleep.

2. As bedtime approaches, have a plan that includes making sure all toys are picked up and put away, bath time or washing up, brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, reading a story, singing a goodnight song, prayers, etc…whatever routines, rituals or bed-time traditions are right for your family. The crucial tip here is to BE CONSISTENT!

3. Have a positive attitude towards going to bed…it is NOT a punishment, but a necessary part of living, just like eating and breathing. During restful sleep, our bodies heal themselves and our minds can dream. Be matter-of-fact and give your child a heads-up as the bed-time countdown approaches.

Because of my passion for picture book stories, I’m always ready to recommend one to help children deal with the challenges they face. If going to bed is a problem in your home, perhaps you can read the following book with your child and make a batch of overnight cookies together.

CORNELIUS P. MUD, ARE YOU READY FOR BED?

written and illustrated by Barney Saltzberg

It’s time for bed and Cornelius’ father asks him the questions which we all ask our children at bedtime. Have you put away your toys? Have you used the bathroom? Have you brushed your teeth? Have you put on your pajamas?

Although the little pig answers each question with a “yes”, the charming illustrations show that he and his father have different ideas about what needs to be done in order to get ready for bed. Cornelius’ understanding father accepts his son’s somewhat strange routine and makes sure that he doesn’t forget the most important thing…a loving hug from him.

Young children want very much to become independent and, although they may put their pajamas on backwards, we need to encourage them to learn to do things by themselves. Of course, parents need to supervise some tasks; we don’t want them swallowing the whole tube of toothpaste or emptying the entire box of fish food into the aquarium. However, praise for good effort encourages a child to keep trying and, as your child masters each task and skill, his self-esteem grows.

OVERNIGHT COOKIES

This recipe is unique because the cookies remain in the oven overnight and are ready in the morning…perhaps your child can have one with breakfast as a special treat…the egg whites, raisins and chopped nuts provide high quality nutrition.

You will need: 2 egg whites, ¼ cup sugar, 1 cup finely ground almonds, 1 cup raisins, cookie sheet covered with aluminum foil and sprayed with canola oil, electric mixer and a large bowl.

1. Beat the egg whites with the mixer until stiff peaks form.

2. Add sugar and mix gently with a spoon.

3. Fold in nuts and raisins.

4. Drop the mixture by the teaspoonful onto the prepared cookie sheet (if you want larger cookies, you can use a bigger spoon).

5. Bake at 350 degrees for 5 minutes. Turn the oven off.

6. Remove the cookies from the oven in the morning (you can actually take them out after an hour…if you like softer cookies).

7. Store in an airtight container.

This child-friendly healthful recipe is only one of the one hundred that appear in SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING.

Stop by tomorrow for a few more thoughts about the importance of a restful sleep (especially for harried moms and dads) AND an eco-friendly craft project to make bed-time the right time for your child.

WE ALL NEED A CHEERING COMMITTEE AND PARENTS ARE A CHILD’S MOST IMPORTANT FANS!

MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?

Posted on January 21, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

One of the biggest surprises of motherhood is the 24/7 factor. For nine months, the ears of mothers-to-be are filled with horror stories and tales of sleepless nights and endless days of diapering, rocking and feeding. But somehow, it doesn’t really make an impression until that first sleepless night or endless day.

Maybe that’s how we are wired…otherwise there might be fewer mothers-to-be.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I LOVED being a mother and actually enjoyed many of the nights I sat in the rocking chair, baby in my arms and a good book in my hands. But I know there were days (and nights) when I almost wished I could change my name…mommy, mommy, MOMMY, MOMMY…where are youuuuuuuuu??????

I say almost, because my children have been great joys in my life…now they are grown (two with children of their own) and all of them make me proud that I can say I am their mom.

It’s true, though, that sometimes, as our children are growing up, we may feel we have a shadow…a constant companion, whether we like it or not. How about when you are shopping and have to use the restroom…of course your child MUST come in the stall with you, especially these days! And even at home, many children like to be with mommy wherever she is in the house. This may get a little tiresome, but how would you feel if you turned around, expecting your child to be right behind you, and she was not there?

The following picture book story suggestion addresses this topic. It’s a classic in children’s literature from 1948.

BLUEBERRIES FOR SAL written and illustrated by Robert McCloskey

One summer day, a little girl named Sal goes with her mother to pick blueberries on Blueberry Hill. Since she eats the blueberries almost as quickly as her mother picks them, her mother tells Sal to pick some of her own. Meanwhile, a bear cub is also on a blueberry hunt with his mother. Both Sal and Little Bear become separated from their own mothers and inadvertently begin following the wrong mother. Fortunately, the mix-up is resolved and both Sal and Little Bear are reunited with the correct parent.

Very young children often get anxious when they lose sight of their parents because they are afraid their parents will never return. This story reassures young children that even if that happens (or their parents leave them at daycare when they go to work or with a sitter when they go out for the evening), the separation will only be a temporary one.

After reading the story, perhaps you might want to try this simple cooking activity with your child. Participating positively with young children creates a life-long parent-child bond.

CHILD-FRIENDLY BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

I can still hear the “plink-plink” as the first blueberries of the season my children picked made their way into the containers. At the time, we lived in an old farmhouse in a small Connecticut town. The backyard was a paradise of fruit trees and, best of all, over one hundred blueberry bushes. Here is the blueberry muffin recipe we used.

You will need: 1 cup fresh blueberries, ½ cup sugar, 1 ½ cups flour, ½ tsp baking soda, ½ cup canola oil, 2 eggs beaten, ½ cup milk, 2 bowls and one 12-cup muffin tin.

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Lightly grease the muffin cups. Rinse off the blueberries.

2. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar and baking soda.

3. In a small bowl, combine oil, milk and beaten eggs.

4. Add liquid ingredients to dry ingredients and stir until just blended.

5. Fold blueberries into the batter and pour batter into prepared pan, filling each cup about 2/3 full.

6. Bake 18-20 minutes or until muffins are lightly browned and cooked through. Insert a toothpick into the center of a muffin…muffins are done if it comes out clean. Turn out of the pan and cool on a rack. Store in an airtight container. The muffins retain their heat for awhile…please let them cool and then cut in half before serving to a young child.

Do you enjoy the combination of story suggestion and related activity? It certainly helped my days feel more organized when my children were growing up. A simple schedule helps bring balance and order to what can often be a chaotic day.

“Be aware of wonder. Life a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” – Robert Fulghum

Stop by tomorrow for a look at some tips on keeping balance in your life…one day at a time.