Nanny McPhee’s Third Lesson: Work Together!

Posted on February 4, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Workers used harnesses attached to steel cable...

Image via Wikipedia

Nanny McPhee’s Third Lesson: Work Together!

Have you been to the great cathedrals in Europe?

Have you seen the Hoover Dam or Mount Rushmore?

Are you amazed at all the medical and technological breakthroughs that are announced on an almost daily basis?

What do all of these have in common?

They were all produced by TEAMWORK!

In the movie, Nanny McPhee tells the children that they must work together.

When people work together, we can build bridges and great cathedrals. When people work together we can develop new breakthroughs in technology and medicine.

But can we implement Nanny McPhee’s third lesson in our daily parenting routine? YES WE CAN!

I know that sometimes it seems that every member in the family is going in a different direction. 🙂 How can we get everyone going in the same direction?

Maybe you can have a weekly family pow-wow where everyone is welcome to contribute their ideas and concerns. Many stores used to have a suggestion box where customers could drop in comments of praise or recommendations for improvement. Perhaps you can have a box where everyone can deposit suggestions for future dinner menus or vacation ideas or issues they would like to talk about at the family meeting. Younger children can tell mom or dad to write their words for them. Keep a pad of paper and a pen or pencil next to the box.

Of course, parents need to be available to their children every day…but you could also set aside a special “talk” time where the family can discuss how to WORK TOGETHER to solve problems or plan thngs.

Even very young children are capable of helping with household chores by:

Separating darks and lights when you are doing the wash…great lesson in categorizing.
Folding towels when the wash is dry…great lesson in geometry (halves, quarters, etc.)
Dusting while you straighten up each room…put on some happy music and you can all dance while you clean.
Helping in the kitchen as you prepare meals…pouring and mixing ingredients.

When you encourage young children to take on responsibilities, you are helping them develop a positive self-image…we all need to feel useful, valued and valuable. Your family will get stronger as you work together. And if you listen with respect to the opinions of your children, they will be more likely to listen with respect to yours.

Stop by tomorrow for a look at Nanny McPhee’s Fourth Lesson: Be Brave!

God Couldn’t Be Everywhere, So He Created Grandmas

Posted on January 26, 2011 by viviankirkfield

GOD COULDN’T BE EVERYWHERE

SO HE CREATED GRANDMAS

This plaque hangs in my kitchen. It was given to me by my daughter, after her son was born. It is so very meaningful to me, and I smile every time I pass it by, not only because I’m thrilled to be a grandma to one of the world’s most adorable, smart, sweet, loving, handsome, and wonderful little boys in the world, but also because it brings back my memories of my own grandmother.

If I close my eyes, I can still see her, sitting in her antique rattan rocking chair, arms outstretched, ready to enfold any child in need of love and a listening ear.

This amazing woman cherished children and was always eager to praise your drawing made at school even though the people were stick figures and the trees were lopsided, listen to you practice the piano no matter how many wrong notes you hit, or just hold you. She was a role model for Positive Parental Participation in an era before experts were encouraging parents to spend quality time with their children.

When I was ten years old, a wonderful thing happened. My family moved into my grandmother’s house! She was getting older and my parents and my aunts and uncles were uncomfortable having her live on her own. I don’t know how easy it was for my parents to coexist in this multi-generational home, but for my sister and me…it was heaven! Now we could have access to this very special person on a daily basis, not just on weekend visits.

My favorite time was early Sunday mornings. My parents and sister would sleep a little later, but my grandmother was an early riser. I would tip-toe downstairs to the kitchen where I would find her, drinking coffee and dipping her dry bread into it. She would take down an old porcelain cup, pour in a splash of coffee and fill it to the rim with milk and hand it to me. Starbucks’ lovers…eat your hearts out…there is no coffee drink available today that can compare to that nectar from the gods. 😉

After we finished our petit dejeuner or little breakfast, my grandmother would go to the pantry (yes, a real old-fashioned pantry that was like a walk-in closet) and get out bowls, flour, sugar and various other ingredients and we would spend the next few hours preparing apple pies and other amazing dishes. Perhaps that is where I learned my love of cooking and baking and it is definitely one of the reasons I included a cooking activity with each story recommendation in my book for parents of preschoolers. I understand how important it is to participate positively with young children and encouraging your child to help in the kitchen will build self-esteem and create a life-long parent-child bond.

I have two stories to relate about my grandmother…she was only human, after all. One shows that she didn’t always use commonsense, and the other…well, if it happened today and the authorities found out about it, she would probably be in jail. But, it was another time and people had a different mind-set about parenting. Stop by tomorrow to find out about “curtains for dinner” and “the new car that lost its side-mirrors”.

Just Leave Me Alone…I’m Reading!

Posted on January 20, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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I held my mother’s hand as we approached the impressive façade of the eight-story building, my older sister excitedly chattering about the dress she was going to buy to wear at her junior high school graduation. Located in downtown Brooklyn, Abraham &Strauss was a well-known department store with floors and floors of the finest merchandise.

Taking the elevator to the eighth floor, we entered a paradise for book lovers! Wall-to-wall books…and in between…tables and tables of books. Admonishing me to stay there and find something to read, my mother and sister left for the dress department.

I know you are probably shocked and horrified that any mother would leave a nine-year old girl alone in a department store in New York City. Looking back on the experience, I’m also surprised that she did…but it was another time…over 50 years ago…and people felt a lot safer, even though perhaps they weren’t.

So I wandered around, happy as a clam (are clams happy?), picking up this book and that book and just reveling in the ecstasy of having so many books at my disposal. I finally choose LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa May Alcott, one of my favorites. I sat down on the floor and proceeded to read the entire book from cover to cover. When I am engrossed in a book, the world outside of the book ceases to exist for me. Is it that way for you? I had no watch…time stood still for me until I finished the last page and closed the book. And crawled out of my quiet little cubbyhole under one of the tables.

THERE SHE IS!!!! I saw my mother and sister running towards me. Several policemen, uniformed store security guards and sales clerks were with them. Later, my mother explained that after several hours of shopping for my sister’s dress, they returned to the book department, but couldn’t find me (I am very petite and at age nine, I was pretty small…I had found a little cubbyhole under one of the tables). Store personnel and the police were called in to help search throughout the entire store because they believed I had walked away from the book department. Walk away from a book department? It’s obvious they didn’t know the real Vivian!

I’m sure my mother never did that again…but at no time during the experience was I frightened or concerned. I didn’t think I was lost in the store…I was lost in the world of the book…and I was very happy there. And, although I wasn’t afraid that day, the fear of getting lost or being separated from a loved one is one of the most common concerns of young children. Here’s another great children’s picture book that you can read with your child that will help open a discussion about this issue.

DON’T WORRY, I’LL FIND YOU written and illustrated by Anna Grossnickle Hines

Sarah and her mother go to the mall to buy Sarah some new clothes. The little girl insists on taking her doll, Abigail. After a long and tiring morning of visiting lots of stores and trying on lots of clothing, Sarah puts Abigail on a chair while she tries on shoes and forgets to take her doll when she and her mother leave the store. Passing a toy store, Sarah remembers that she has left her doll behind and she hurries back to the shoe store without telling her mother. Although she finds Abigail right away, she soon realizes that she has lost her mother. Remembering her mother’s instructions to “stay put”, Sarah goes back to the toy store and waits there. Meanwhile, Sarah’s mother has been checking all the stores and soon mother and child are reunited.

I’m sure Sarah’s mother was tempted to scold her daughter, not only for walking away on her own, but also for bringing the doll, even though she had been advised by her mother to leave the doll at home. Instead, she chose to commend her daughter for obeying her instructions to stay where she was in case she got lost. In the future, Sarah will be more likely to follow other rules she is given and, even though she was frightened, she was able to keep some amount of control in the situation by following her mother’s instructions.