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Do you have a BFF?  Is it someone who lived next door to you when you were little?  Or is it a person who came into your life during a time of crisis?

I met my BFF when I was two years old…we lived in the same apartment house and our parents became good friends.  So Jane and I became playmates.  I can remember playing Superman…she was both Superman AND the bad guy and I was Lois Lane.  We walked to school together, had picnics in the park together and spent many hours playing house, coloring with crayons and talking.  When Jane moved to a different state, we corresponded by mail on a weekly basis and now, over 50 years later, we continue this amazing friendship by email.  She is a true and loyal friend who would support and encourage me in any endeavor I choose to undertake…and I would do the same for her.

So what about Melanie Hamilton, the gentle soft-spoken wife of Ashley Wilkes and sister-in-law to Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind?

From the first moment we meet her, at the barbecue at Twelve Oaks plantation, we are aware of her gentle, trusting and patient demeanor.  However, as the movie unfolds, we see that there is a lot more to Melanie Hamilton than meets the eye.  She has an inner core of strength and commitment that carries her through many difficult situations.

If you’ve seen the movie, you will probably remember the iconic scene where Scarlett attends a birthday party for Ashley.  Earlier in the day, some of the town’s ladies saw her embracing Ashley.  This scandalous story quickly spreads throughout the community, and Scarlett’s husband, Rhett, insists that she go to the party by herself, clad in a revealing red dress (remember Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter).  As she enters the house, a roomful of judging eyes turn towards her.  Movie viewers hold their breath, waiting for the inevitable angry confrontation.  Instead, Melanie steps forward, embraces her sister-in-law as if nothing had happened, and gently, but firmly insists that the assembled company welcome Scarlett.  And they do!  If only all of us had someone like that in our corner.

Our children need us to be their Melanie Hamilton.   

1.     Be supportive of your children in all situations. 

2.      Give your children unconditional love. 

3.     Lead by example and be consistent.

4.     Don’t condone inappropriate behavior…but try to address it privately, instead of embarrassing them in front of friends or others.

5.     Encourage them to have friends…and get to know the parents of their friends.

6.     Be respectful of their opinions and attentive to what they have to say…they will learn to be respectful and attentive to others…and this is the basis of a good friendship.

Stop by tomorrow for a look at Rhett Butler: From Dashing Scoundrel to Loving Dad