Valentine’s Day 2013…The Many Faces of Love

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates love. It began in honor of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus. Valentine’s Day was first associated with romantic love by Chaucer when he wrote a poem in 1382 to honor the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia.

For this was seynt on Volantynys day

When every bryd cometh there to chese his make.”

Back in college, I took a course on Chaucer and Old English…it was the only college course I ever dropped…but here’s a translation those two lines: “For this was sent on Valentine’s Day, When every bird comes there to choose his mate.”

By the 15th Century, lovers would give each other flowers, candy and cards (which were known as Valentines.

Valentine's Day,The Many Faces of Love,www.positiveparentalparticipation.com

Then there was Hallmark…and the rest is history!

Valentine’s Day celebrates many types of love. According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield, there are two main types of love: Compassionate Love and Passionate Love. Compassionate love features mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust. Passionate love is filled with intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. Ideally, passionate love, which is transitory and short-lived, turns into compassionate love, which is enduring and long-lasting.

C.S. Lewis, in The Four Loves, identifies four categories of love: Affection or storge which is fondness through familiarity, Friendship or philia which is the strong bond that exists between people who have a common interests, Romance or eros, which is being in love or loving someone and Unconditional Love or agape which is the love of caring regardless of the circumstances.

But what of a parent’s love for a child…what type of love is that?

Valentine's Day,The Many Faces of Love,www.positiveparentalparticipation.com

Last night, I watched one of the old Leave It To Beaver episodes and I witnessed the four loves described by C.S. Lewis.

In the show, little Beaver loses his lunch money several days in a row. His parents warn him that he will be in trouble if it happens again. His father gives him money to go to the barber shop to get a haircut, but when the little boy gets there, he realizes he has lost the money again. His older brother agrees to help him and, when this results in ‘the haircut from hell’, the boys try to fool their parents by wearing hats.

  1. Affection or fondness through familiarity: This is evident in the day to day interaction…Beaver’s brother is almost always willing to help him; Beaver’s mom and dad are caring and understanding.
  2. Friendship or strong bond that exists between people: Beaver’s mom, “Kids are more afraid of losing their parents’ love than of being punished.”
  3. Romance or loving someone passionately: Beaver’s dad, “The trouble with being a parent is that you love your kids so much, you scare the pants off them.”
  4. Unconditional love: Beaver’s brother, “You can come to parents with any problem and they will understand.”

Happy Valentine’s Day! What are your plans for today? If you have young children, have fun with them…why not go for a walk, play ball, sing a silly song, draw a picture together, read a book with them. SHOW them as well as TELL them that you love them…every day. It will make a positive impact on the rest of their lives.

www.positiveparentalparticipation.com

There is still time to nominate your favorite literacy organization to win the International Book Giving Day $25 donation…please leave a comment on my post. Tomorrow we will choose the winner with Random.org.

And if you have the time, you can take a look at the Valentine’s Day/International Book Giving Day YouTube video I made yesterday with author/educator Susan Case: SHOW THE LOVE: INTERNATIONAL BOOK GIVING DAY. We shared several picture books and crafts and ideas on helping kids celebrate Valentine’s Day and International Book Giving Day. Susan is giving away TWO copies of her fantastic Happy Mommies Handbook…don’t miss out…leave a comment on her blog post: http://kindergartenbasics.blogspot.com/2013/02/celebrate-international-book-giving-day.html

 

About viviankirkfield

Writer for children - Reader forever Mom of 3, educator, author of SWEET DREAMS, SARAH (Creston Books, 2018), picture book junkie, lover of travel, hiking, cooking, playing Monopoly with my 8-year old grandson and fly-fishing with my husband.

Posted on February 14, 2013, in International Book Giving Day, Love, parenting, Valentine's Day 2013 and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. Very insightful post on this beautiful day, Vivian! I surprised my kids with homemade Valentine cards and special chocolate this morning. It was only fair after all the love notes they’ve given me!
    http://perfectingmotherhood.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/perfect-valentine-love-notes-and-chocolate/

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  2. Love is such an overused word. We love our family, food, stuff – no wonder people get confused. Love for children should be unconditional and it is so important that we show our love through our actions and our words.

    I rarely watch TV because I don’t feel the content is appropriate for any age but I really enjoy watching all the old programs – many of them have great life lessons in them. I particularly like the Waltons and Little House on the Prairie. We watched them together as a family and I really feel it positively impacted our children.

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    • I totally agree…we could do life-lessons workshops using all of those old shows…The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie addressed many timely topics that are relevant today…and somehow, the parents, though not perfect and definitely busy from dawn until dusk, managed to communicate to their kids that they loved them…and needed them. Perhaps many children today feel ‘useless’ or ‘unneeded’ because they don’t have the responsibilities kids had then. Parents these days often neglect to expect and insist that their children really pitch in and help. 🙂

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  3. I love learning new things. Didn’t know the history behind today’s special day. I love the mom and baby photo too and of course the rest of your informative post 🙂

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  4. Vivian, this post was a wonderful “Leave It To Beaver” set of examples that support C.S. Lewis! You surprise me with your unusual connections, and I love it.

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    • I’m all about connecting, Marylin.:) Glad you enjoyed the parallel between C.S. Lewis and Leave It To Beaver! Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day…I know you will be thinking about the many Valentine’s Day cards she helped you make.:)

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  5. I love that you still watch Leave It To Beaver! That alone made me smile. 🙂

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  6. Well said Ms. Kirkfield, well said, thy fair maiden! 😀

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  7. Hope you had a wonderful Week and more. TY for the pingback. 😉
    Eliz

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