Sibling Rivalry and Prayers for Those Impacted by the Waldo Canyon Fire

Posted on June 29, 2012 by viviankirkfield

Two Sisters (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Mommeeeeee….Rachel pushed me!” “Mommeeeee…Brandon took that toy and I had it first!”

If you grew up with brothers and/or sisters, the above scenarios probably sound familiar.

If you have more than one child now, you have probably heard similar complaints in your own home.

Sibling rivalry seems to be inevitable, but is it ALL bad?

And what, if anything, can parents do to ease the tension and reduce the conflicts between their kids?

Last year, the University of Cambridge did a study that showed that siblings can have a positive effect on a child’s early development of social understanding (the awareness of others thoughts and feelings) even when there is some discord such as arguing or teasing. The communication between siblings helps them learn to express their feelings and emotions. It is important for parents with only children to make sure they are providing their child with many opportunities for conversation about thoughts and feelings.

Sustained or continuous sibling rivalry, however, can result in behavioral problems and relationship building issues later in life.

With summer here and kids at home, here are some simple steps parents can take to create a more peaceful and positive atmosphere:

Plan family activities that are fun for everyone.
Make sure each child has his or her own space.
Encourage cooperation, not competition…when picking up toys; have the children race the clock, not each other.
Teach conflict resolution.
Don’t play favorites or compare siblings.
Make sure your kids are not hungry or tired or bored.
Plan family time such as eating meals together.
Teach positive ways to get attention from each other and from parents.
Set aside along time with each child.
Don’t take sides.
Teach kids to compromise and respect one another.
Encourage children to express their feeling and find words for them.
Be a good role model.

Picture books are a wonderful tool to use as well. If you are looking for a great picture book that addresses this problem, there are several to choose from:

Queen of the World by Thomas Yezerski

I Love You Purplest by Barbara Joosees

Sheila Rae’s Peppermint Stick by Kevin Henkes

And one of my favorites:

The Day No One Played Together by Donalisa Helsley.

The Day No One Played Together: A Lesson About Compromise, is a beautifully illustrated (by the talented Sarah Harkey) story of two sisters who want to play together. However, each wants the other to play HER game. When the sisters come to a stalemate, their mom steps in with a suggestion: COMPROMISE. The girls begin to brainstorm many ideas of how they can incorporate what each wants to do so that they can play together. They happily solve their problem and the book ends with the sisters spending the rest of the day playing with each other. Parents…read this story with your children…help them apply the concept of compromise next time there is an argument…and enjoy the peace and harmony.

On the last page of the book, Ms. Helsley provides a simple definition of some of the words in the story that young children might be hearing for the first time. I love this feature of the book…we should always encourage children to understand what they are reading or hearing…this helps build their vocabulary…one of the most important components of literacy.

You can find out more about this great children’s author by visiting her website: www.wildaboutreading.net She has a new book out, I Love You Better Than Chocolate Chip Cookies.

To contact her: wildaboutreading@ymail.com

The book is available for purchase on Amazon, B&N.com, Goodreads and the author’s website.

Take advantage of the more laid back pace of summer and provide your children with fun-filled moments they will remember forever. Spend time reading with them and doing other activities. If you are looking for great book suggestions and quick and easy activities, please check out my book, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking.

Life has been turned upside down, here in Colorado Springs. The past week has brought devastation and terror to many residents as the Waldo Canyon Fire raged…fueled by record heat and an exceptionally dry winter and spring. Over 300 homes were destroyed on Tuesday night…consumed by the hungry flames before our eyes as we watched television coverage in shock and horror. The fires are still burning…and the impact will be felt for years to come. Please join me in praying for the brave firefighters and others who are still battling the fire…and for those who have lost their homes and livelihoods.

Toddlers at War: Sibling Rivalry (attachmentparenting.org)
How to avoid sibling rivalry (psychologymum.wordpress.com)
Sibling Rivalry: What to do, What to do?! (sparklingstepmom.com)
What causes sibling rivalry? (georgesecko.wordpress.com)

It’s a Picture Book Party for 12 x 12’ers AND a Giveaway!

Posted on June 25, 2012 by viviankirkfield

There will definitely be CAKE! I’m sure Jeremy will be happy to share a piece with you.

You are welcome to help yourself to an Overnight Cookie!

And make sure you read through to the end, because there is a prize lurking around!

I’m joining in on the six-month celebration of Julie Hedlund’s 12 x 12 Picture Book Challenge.

In January, Julie issued a challenge to picture book writers and illustrators: write a picture book draft each month of 2012. Hundreds of people hopped aboard the 12 x 12 train and Julie set up an amazing Facebook page to encourage participants to connect with each other. Her blog posts are a treasure…filled with information and valuable advice…often offered via interviews with editors, authors, illustrators and others in the field of children’s picture books.

I’ve had a life-long passion for picture books…as a child, I loved listening to them…as a teacher and mom, I loved reading them to kids…and for the past forty years, I’ve dabbled in writing them.

Julie’s challenge has spurred me to do more than just dabble…and in the past six months, I’m proud to say that I HAVE written six picture book drafts…and scribbled ideas for quite a few more!

What’s so special about picture books you may ask?

Picture books are usually a child’s first introduction to the written word.
Picture books help develop better reading readiness and literacy skills.
Picture books introduce children to the world of art.
Picture books help parents and children bond with each other.
Picture books are a crucial tool for encouraging life-long learning among children.
Picture books allow kids to relate their own life experiences to the events in the story.
Picture books help build self-esteem in children.
Picture books are enjoyable and entertaining.

Here’s an example of one of the classic picture books that I love.

Do those words sound familiar? This verse comes from one of the most famous picture books every published. Madeline was written in 1939 by Ludwig Bemelmans, an Austrian author who relocated to New York City. Madeline is quite the modern day young girl who thinks for herself and has courage and determination.

Maybe one day, my stories will be enjoyed by children all over the world…for now, my grandchildren and the kindergarten classes I visit during the school year are my audience. In the next few days, I plan to submit one of them to Rate Your Story.

In January, my picture book draft was a rhyming story about my daughter and her favorite hat: Caroline’s Flower-Sprigged Hat.

In February, I wrote another rhyming tale about a bunch of unlikely Valentine’s: Whom Do I Love?

In March, my picture book draft relayed the saga of a little boy who refuses to take off his boots: The Boots of Dylan McGee.

In April, I entered Susanna Leonard Hill’s Birthday Contest with another rhyme about a little girl who came up with an ingenious idea because she didn’t want her brother to come to her party: No Brother for My Birthday.

In May, I turned my efforts to prose in a true story about my younger son: The Tomato Turner.

And this month, I wrote a sequel to the saga: Confessions of the Tomato Turner.

I can honestly say I’ve never been so happy. This wonderful kid lit community is filled with picture book authors, illustrators, librarians, teachers and others who love picture books and understand how important they are for children. I am so fortunate to have connected with them and I look forward to the second half of the year…Thank You to Julie, Susanna, Tracy, Penny, Clar, Joanna, Stacy, Tina, Robyn, Beth, Heather, Catherine, Kirsten, Jennifer Y, Jennifer R, Amy, Jackie, Darshana, Emily, Diane, Renee, Erik…I know I’ve missed a bunch of you…but I’ve enjoyed reading your posts and your comments on mine…and I’ve learned so much!

And now for the prize! This is the 300^th post on my blog! I’m so excited because when I started out almost two years ago, I knew almost nothing about the Internet, blogging and social media like Twitter. When someone said I could “grab their button” I thought they were talking about the round piece of plastic, metal or wood that you sew onto a coat. I had no idea how to link a URL to a picture or word…and I also had no idea what a URL was.

In honor of this 300^th post, I’d like to give away a lovely copy of The Lap-Time Song and Play Book, edited by Jane Yolen with illustrations by Margot Tomes. If you’d like a chance to receive this special picture book with favorites like “I’m a Little Teapot” and “The Eensy Weensy Spider”, please leave a comment on this post and let me know you’d like to win it. When I get back from my trip to Chicago, I’ll use Random.org to pick the winner.

Downloads Madeline Pop-up Book (Viking Kestrel picture books) e-book (qyotmpqh.typepad.com)
Terri Murphy’s Journey of a Picture Book: One Day I Went Rambling (moreart4all.wordpress.com)
2 Wordless Picture Books GIVEAWAYS and How to Read Them (pragmaticmom.com)

Helping Kids with Loss: After Charlotte’s Mom Died Review

Posted on June 15, 2012 by viviankirkfield

Today is Perfect Picture Book Friday where I link up with Susannah Leonard Hill’s fantastic group of picture book writers, illustrators, librarians and others who contribute a picture book review and related resources for parents, teachers and children.

A couple of quick notes first:

1. Remember that tomorrow is June 16^th – Save The Bookstores Day. Did you read Tara Lazar’s great post about this: http://taralazar.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/support-save-the-bookstores-day-on-june-16th/. Unfortunately, I have to work on Saturday, but on Sunday, I’ll be at one of the Indie bookstores here in Colorado Springs, Poor Richards. They are one of the local bookstores that has copies of Show Me How for sale…if you haven’t seen the amazing review Kirsten did, please click over to her blog, Creating Curious Kids. Keeping children occupied with fun-filled educational self-esteem building activities is a wonderful way to spend the summer! Do you know some parents who would appreciate a book that provides hundreds of quick and easy activities that use stuff they probably have around the house? Please keep Show Me How in mind.

2. Sunday is a very special day as well…June 17^th is Father’s Day! There are so many wonderful fathers and father figures out there…this day is for all of you! I have to make a special shout-out to my son-in-law who is an amazing hands-on dad…not only does he play ball and take walks with his son, he also never misses being part of the daily bedtime routine, reading stories and overseeing the brushing of teeth. When my daughter has to travel for business, Erik never falters and is mom and dad at those times. I’m also very proud of my son who has twins who are almost seven. From the time they were born, he has shared in EVERY moment…feeding, changing diapers, singing them to sleep…now they all ice-skate and play chess together.

My pick for Perfect Picture Book Friday is in honor of those dads who really step up to the plate.

After Charlotte’s Mom Died

Written by Cornelia Spelman

Illustrated by Judith Friedman

Publisher: Albert Whitman Co (1996)

Ages: 5 and up

Themes:

Grief/loss, family, emotions

Synopsis:

When five-year old Charlotte’s mother dies in a car accident, the little girl has many feelings she is not comfortable expressing to her dad, even though she loves him very much. She worries about going to sleep because an aunt told her that dying was like going to sleep. She is angry and sad and scared, although on the outside, she still looks the same. After an incident at school alerts her father to the fact that Charlotte is not dealing well with the death of her mother, he decides to go with Charlotte to see a therapist. The therapist helps them to talk about how they feel and they realize that although they will continue to feel sad about the death of Charlotte’s mother, they can find happiness in life.

Why do I like this book:

The death of a close loved one is always difficult…to lose one’s mother at a very young age is earthshattering! This book tenderly addresses this issue…the illustrations are soft, the message of the text is comforting and empowering. I especially love the caring and practical advice the author gives to parents and other child caregivers in the book’s foreward:

listen carefully to the child
acknowledge his fears and feelings without judging
offer assurances that there will always be people to love him and care for him
offer hope for future happiness

Related Activities:

Memories of special people, places and experiences are extremely important for all of us. Help your child start a box of treasured mementos now! The boxes in the pictures below were actually made as Valentine’s Day mailboxes by the people I work with, so each of these boxes has a slit for Valentine’s Day cards to be inserted into…your child’s treasure box won’t have the slit. I was so impressed with the effort and creativity of these adults, I wanted to share some of the boxes with all of you.

Treasure Box Shoe Box

You will need: One shoe box with lid, paper to cover the box (construction paper, gift wrap, shelf paper), scissors, and glue or tape.

1. Cut the paper your child has selected to cover the box. You will need two pieces, one for the box and one for the lid. Important tip: if you use painting paper, your child can decorate it with vegetable prints, sponge painting or pictures cut from magazines or greeting cards.

2. Carefully fit the paper around the outside of the shoebox and glue or tape in place. Do the same with the lid.

3. Make a label to put on the box, for example: EMILY’S TREASURED MEMENTOS or JOSH’S BOX OF MEMORIES.

My box had pictures of my family, all around the sides. That might be a nice idea for a child using pictures of family and friends.

A great pirate treasure chest here at FreeKidsCrafts.com

Some more treasure chest ideas here.

Great website to help kids dealing with death at kidshealth.org.

Some helpful tips for talking with children about the death of a parent at FamilyHealth.com.

This post is part of a series for parents and teachers called Perfect Picture Book Fridays hosted by Susannah Leonard Hill. Click on her link and find lots of other picture book suggestions with summaries and activities.