Category Archives: parenting

Valentine’s Day 2013…The Many Faces of Love

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Valentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates love. It began in honor of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus. Valentine’s Day was first associated with romantic love by Chaucer when he wrote a poem in 1382 to honor the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia.

“For this was seynt on Volantynys day

When every bryd cometh there to chese his make.”

Back in college, I took a course on Chaucer and Old English…it was the only college course I ever dropped…but here’s a translation those two lines: “For this was sent on Valentine’s Day, When every bird comes there to choose his mate.”

By the 15th Century, lovers would give each other flowers, candy and cards (which were known as Valentines.

Valentine's Day,The Many Faces of Love,www.positiveparentalparticipation.com

Then there was Hallmark…and the rest is history!

Valentine’s Day celebrates many types of love. According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield, there are two main types of love: Compassionate Love and Passionate Love. Compassionate love features mutual respect, attachment, affection and trust. Passionate love is filled with intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. Ideally, passionate love, which is transitory and short-lived, turns into compassionate love, which is enduring and long-lasting.

C.S. Lewis, in The Four Loves, identifies four categories of love: Affection or storge which is fondness through familiarity, Friendship or philia which is the strong bond that exists between people who have a common interests, Romance or eros, which is being in love or loving someone and Unconditional Love or agape which is the love of caring regardless of the circumstances.

But what of a parent’s love for a child…what type of love is that?

Valentine's Day,The Many Faces of Love,www.positiveparentalparticipation.com

Last night, I watched one of the old Leave It To Beaver episodes and I witnessed the four loves described by C.S. Lewis.

In the show, little Beaver loses his lunch money several days in a row. His parents warn him that he will be in trouble if it happens again. His father gives him money to go to the barber shop to get a haircut, but when the little boy gets there, he realizes he has lost the money again. His older brother agrees to help him and, when this results in ‘the haircut from hell’, the boys try to fool their parents by wearing hats.

  1. Affection or fondness through familiarity: This is evident in the day to day interaction…Beaver’s brother is almost always willing to help him; Beaver’s mom and dad are caring and understanding.
  2. Friendship or strong bond that exists between people: Beaver’s mom, “Kids are more afraid of losing their parents’ love than of being punished.”
  3. Romance or loving someone passionately: Beaver’s dad, “The trouble with being a parent is that you love your kids so much, you scare the pants off them.”
  4. Unconditional love: Beaver’s brother, “You can come to parents with any problem and they will understand.”

Happy Valentine’s Day! What are your plans for today? If you have young children, have fun with them…why not go for a walk, play ball, sing a silly song, draw a picture together, read a book with them. SHOW them as well as TELL them that you love them…every day. It will make a positive impact on the rest of their lives.

www.positiveparentalparticipation.com

There is still time to nominate your favorite literacy organization to win the International Book Giving Day $25 donation…please leave a comment on my post. Tomorrow we will choose the winner with Random.org.

And if you have the time, you can take a look at the Valentine’s Day/International Book Giving Day YouTube video I made yesterday with author/educator Susan Case: SHOW THE LOVE: INTERNATIONAL BOOK GIVING DAY. We shared several picture books and crafts and ideas on helping kids celebrate Valentine’s Day and International Book Giving Day. Susan is giving away TWO copies of her fantastic Happy Mommies Handbook…don’t miss out…leave a comment on her blog post: http://kindergartenbasics.blogspot.com/2013/02/celebrate-international-book-giving-day.html

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Thanksgiving Day: Thankful Thoughts and Thoughtless Tragedies

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Spending time with each helps keep the spark alive…relationships are strengthened when you take on challenges together.

 

Today, November 22, 2012, is Thanksgiving.

It is also the 49th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

They say every cloud has a silver lining.

And I have found that to be true.

Last Valentine’s Day, I did a guest post on Bob Brody’s Letters to My Kids blog, sharing with my children how I met their dad.   Mr. Brody encourages parents to write letters to their kids…here’s an excerpt from that post.

Dear Jason, Peter and Caroline,

 Your future dad and I met as freshmen in college. I sat in front of him in English 1.1 and he sat in front of me in Social Science. Both of us were dating other people pretty seriously. And so for the first two months of the fall semester, we were just classmates who spoke with each other as we walked into or out of the room.

Then came November 22, 1963. The intercom crackled. “The President is dead!”

For several moments no one reacted. And then everyone did. Screaming! Crying! Young men pounding their fists on their desks!

As we all exited the classroom, your future dad was right behind me.

“I’m going to walk home!” I exclaimed to no one in particular. “I can’t face sitting on the bus squashed between hordes of people!”

“I’ll walk with you,” the voice behind me said. “Where do you live?”

As it happened, we lived only four streets away from each other.

By the way, there are some girls who look fantastic even when they cry. If only I were one of those. Whatever eye makeup I was wearing was smudged and probably dripping onto my cheeks and chin. Plus, my nose was red and my skin blotchy.

No matter. Your future dad and I walked and talked for over an hour, until we reached my house. And when we looked at each other, I know we saw into each other’s souls and we wanted to walk and talk together forever.

Our relationship grew stronger and closer during that next semester. By the summer, we were dating each other exclusively. We got married as soon as we graduated from college. And our relationship has flourished ever since. To this day, we remain the most loyal of soul-mates.

Out of tragedy, then, came an unexpected opportunity for love. In a sense, sad to say, it took a death to bring you all to life. We’ve never forgotten that, and we never will.

Love,

Mom

 

1993…The Year of the Graduations (Junior High, High School and College)

Children love to hear about how their parents met.  They want to know about their parents’ childhoods…did dad get into trouble for misbehaving in school…did mom play with dolls or tag after an older brother.   Kids enjoy hearing about when they were babies.  Writing letters to your children helps give them the knowledge of experiences and strengthens their feeling of belonging…a very important component of self-esteem!

Have you ever written a letter to your child?

What would you say?

I wish everyone a most Happy Thanksgiving Day!   Will you be rushing out tomorrow for the Black Friday specials?  If you are looking for gifts for parents or teachers of young children, I encourage you to save yourself time and money…Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cookingis the perfect present…and you can quickly and easily buy it online.  If you are looking for gifts for young children…check out my Top Ten Gifts List.  You will not have to worry about buying batteries or finding an unused electrical outlet for ANY of these items!

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18 months on: The New Parent is the ultimate Transformer (Part 3)

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18 months on: The New Parent is the ultimate Transformer (Part 3).

Emily Lim is a children’s author and first-time mom.  We connected earlier this year through the blogsphere…and have found we are on the same page about many things.

Her post today was so amazing, I felt compelled to ‘press’ it and offer it to my readers.

I agreed with all of the six ways she found her life had changed because of motherhood…but I especially loved the four points she considers before she takes on any new work.  As a WAHM, she puts her job as ‘mum’ first…not an easy thing to do.

I also wanted to share that I received an email from Emily this morning, inviting me to be a speaker at the 2013 Asian Children’s Writers and Illustrators Conference (part of the Asian Festival of Children’s Content)…needless to say, I am deeply honored and hope we can work things out so that I will get to meet Emily in person next May in Singapore and share my passion for helping every young child become a lover of books and reading.

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