Sibling Rivalry and Prayers for Those Impacted by the Waldo Canyon Fire

Posted on June 29, 2012 by viviankirkfield

Two Sisters (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Mommeeeeee….Rachel pushed me!” “Mommeeeee…Brandon took that toy and I had it first!”

If you grew up with brothers and/or sisters, the above scenarios probably sound familiar.

If you have more than one child now, you have probably heard similar complaints in your own home.

Sibling rivalry seems to be inevitable, but is it ALL bad?

And what, if anything, can parents do to ease the tension and reduce the conflicts between their kids?

Last year, the University of Cambridge did a study that showed that siblings can have a positive effect on a child’s early development of social understanding (the awareness of others thoughts and feelings) even when there is some discord such as arguing or teasing. The communication between siblings helps them learn to express their feelings and emotions. It is important for parents with only children to make sure they are providing their child with many opportunities for conversation about thoughts and feelings.

Sustained or continuous sibling rivalry, however, can result in behavioral problems and relationship building issues later in life.

With summer here and kids at home, here are some simple steps parents can take to create a more peaceful and positive atmosphere:

Plan family activities that are fun for everyone.
Make sure each child has his or her own space.
Encourage cooperation, not competition…when picking up toys; have the children race the clock, not each other.
Teach conflict resolution.
Don’t play favorites or compare siblings.
Make sure your kids are not hungry or tired or bored.
Plan family time such as eating meals together.
Teach positive ways to get attention from each other and from parents.
Set aside along time with each child.
Don’t take sides.
Teach kids to compromise and respect one another.
Encourage children to express their feeling and find words for them.
Be a good role model.

Picture books are a wonderful tool to use as well. If you are looking for a great picture book that addresses this problem, there are several to choose from:

Queen of the World by Thomas Yezerski

I Love You Purplest by Barbara Joosees

Sheila Rae’s Peppermint Stick by Kevin Henkes

And one of my favorites:

The Day No One Played Together by Donalisa Helsley.

The Day No One Played Together: A Lesson About Compromise, is a beautifully illustrated (by the talented Sarah Harkey) story of two sisters who want to play together. However, each wants the other to play HER game. When the sisters come to a stalemate, their mom steps in with a suggestion: COMPROMISE. The girls begin to brainstorm many ideas of how they can incorporate what each wants to do so that they can play together. They happily solve their problem and the book ends with the sisters spending the rest of the day playing with each other. Parents…read this story with your children…help them apply the concept of compromise next time there is an argument…and enjoy the peace and harmony.

On the last page of the book, Ms. Helsley provides a simple definition of some of the words in the story that young children might be hearing for the first time. I love this feature of the book…we should always encourage children to understand what they are reading or hearing…this helps build their vocabulary…one of the most important components of literacy.

You can find out more about this great children’s author by visiting her website: www.wildaboutreading.net She has a new book out, I Love You Better Than Chocolate Chip Cookies.

To contact her: wildaboutreading@ymail.com

The book is available for purchase on Amazon, B&N.com, Goodreads and the author’s website.

Take advantage of the more laid back pace of summer and provide your children with fun-filled moments they will remember forever. Spend time reading with them and doing other activities. If you are looking for great book suggestions and quick and easy activities, please check out my book, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking.

Life has been turned upside down, here in Colorado Springs. The past week has brought devastation and terror to many residents as the Waldo Canyon Fire raged…fueled by record heat and an exceptionally dry winter and spring. Over 300 homes were destroyed on Tuesday night…consumed by the hungry flames before our eyes as we watched television coverage in shock and horror. The fires are still burning…and the impact will be felt for years to come. Please join me in praying for the brave firefighters and others who are still battling the fire…and for those who have lost their homes and livelihoods.

Toddlers at War: Sibling Rivalry (attachmentparenting.org)
How to avoid sibling rivalry (psychologymum.wordpress.com)
Sibling Rivalry: What to do, What to do?! (sparklingstepmom.com)
What causes sibling rivalry? (georgesecko.wordpress.com)

Sunday Post: Village…It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

Posted on June 24, 2012 by viviankirkfield

Jake at Time after Time has a Sunday Post Challenge and every week he provides a theme…this week’s theme is VILLAGE.

According to the dictionary, a village is a clustered human settlement or community. The small photo above shows some of the buildings on Star Island, part of the Isles of Shoals off the coast of Maine. During the summer, weekly Christian conferences are held, and the island is filled with people seeking a respite from the hectic pace of city life. During their time there, children become part of the wider community. The saying, it takes a village to raise a child, originally an African proverb…Ora na azu nwa…and later the title of a book by Hillary Rodham Clinton, becomes a reality.

Although it certainly does help to have the assistance of others, the primary responsibility for raising a child falls to the parents. Food, shelter, love, early education, rules, discipline, values…these are the basics that every parent is expected to provide.

One of the most important things a parent needs to insure is that the child is living in a safe environment. Summer is here and the temperature rises. But before you open those windows, please check these window safety tips. Did you know that over 4000 children are injured and wind up in the emergency room every year and about a dozen die from window falls?

According to Pediatrics.about.com, to keep your children safe, in addition to close supervision, you should also:

not allow your children to play around windows, even if they are closed, since they can be hurt if they fall through the glass of a closed window
not rely on screens to keep your kids from falling
consider installing landscaping under windows that might cushion a fall
install windows that can open from the top, instead of the bottom, if possible
keep furniture away from windows, so that your children aren’t tempted to climb on them
teach your children about window
planning safety

Keeping young kids happy, engaged and busy during the summer months can be a challenge. Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking is a one-stop guide and activity book. Using it this summer will help prepare the younger ones for preschool and kindergarten…six and seven year olds will love the craft projects and cooking activities and may be able to read some of the stories themselves…this will help to prevent the academic slide that often occurs during the summer months. Grab a copy at only $19.95 (over 50% off the cover price) for yourself, a family member, neighbor or church summer school. Lined sections on every other page provide a place for notes or comments…the book can become a journal of your child’s progress and activities throughout the summer.

Are you wondering if the book really works? Check out these recent reviews: http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/show-me-how/

http://creatingcuriouskids.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/summer-fun-shortcut-show-me-how/

http://yourfamilybookclub.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/book-review-show-me-how-build-tour-childs-self-esteem-through-reading-crafting-and-cooking-by-vivian-kirkfield/

By the way, this is my 299th post! I started blogging almost two years ago. As a novice, I knew nothing about anything blogging. When I look at the posts I did in the fall of 2010, I realize how much I’ve learned. My next post will be #300…I’ll have to think of doing something special to celebrate…any ideas?

Want more information about Jake’s Sunday Post?

http://jakesprinters.wordpress.com/

And here are some other bloggers who are doing Jake’s Sunday Post:

http://scrapydo.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/sunday-post-village/

It Takes A Village to Raise A Child – Don’t Be Ashamed (tinystepsmommy.com)
It Takes a Village {Recipe: Cheesy Potato Fries} (sweetnicks.com)

Summer Fun Shortcut: SHOW ME HOW!

Posted on June 14, 2012 by viviankirkfield

Summer Fun Shortcut: SHOW ME HOW!.

Author, educator and mom Kirsten Larson, over at Creating Curious Kids, just posted a review of Show Me How! What’s really great is that several of the activities recommended in the book were kid-tested by her two sons…way to go, Finley and Cooper!

My sincere thanks to Kirsten…what an amazing review! Please stop over and read it…you’ll love her blog!