Project 365 Challenge: Are You Thinking of Having a Baby?

Posted on January 15, 2012 by viviankirkfield

“I really want to have a baby!”

This is what a co-worker told me the other day. She also told me that her husband is not excited about the idea and she feels he is not ready to be a father. In addition, their relationship is, according to her, not in a very good place right now. And, she complained that she had trouble sleeping at night and didn’t function well if her sleep was disturbed.

Hmmmm….sounds like a recipe for disaster, wouldn’t you agree?

Deciding to have a baby is not like deciding to order fries with your meal or deciding to buy a red dress for a party. When the fries arrive, you can always throw them away if you’ve changed your mind or ask the waitress if you can have a baked potato instead. If the red dress doesn’t look good when you get it home, you can always return it or exchange it for a different one.

Becoming a parent is a forever decision…one not to be taken lightly. The people involved need to understand the implications and agree that it is something they both wish to undertake. Of course, sometimes pregnancies are unplanned and a surprise.

I’m always encouraging parents to read picture books with their children because part of my Positive Parental Participation program involves the utilization of the messages in picture books to help young children cope with many of the challenges they face in those early years.

One can say the same thing about movies. And, many movies contain important messages for adults.

My husband and I watched 9 Months with Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore on Netflix last night. If you are contemplating having a baby, this is the movie for you! It’s a light-hearted look at a young successful couple who have been living together very happily for five years. When Julianne discovers she is pregnant, Hugh is not happy about it, but she tells him that the baby won’t change their life. Then she tells him he will have to sell his sports car and get rid of the cat he has had for thirteen years. His disconnect causes her to leave him and she tells him, “You’re not ready to be a father!”

Will Hugh ultimately accept the situation? At the end of the movie, is he ready to be a father? Watch the film if you want a hilarious look at pregnancy, labor and delivery…with Robin Williams as the obstetrician, you are guaranteed to be rolling on the floor, laughing till it hurts.

But the movie has a serious side…it asks couples: are you ready to have a baby? It will change your life. It won’t make a weak marriage stronger. It will test the limits of your patience.

What are your thoughts? Please share them with us.

Giving Thanks

Posted on November 18, 2011 by viviankirkfield

The holiday of Thanksgiving serves as a reminder for many of us that we have much to be thankful for.

As a mom, educator and author, I’m especially thankful for the amazing opportunity I have had to instill my values and share my beliefs with so many others. Being a parent is a huge responsibility…it’s like Show-and-Tell…we need to be good role models of the behavior we expect from our children.

I’m thankful that when I taught kindergarten and Head Start, I learned so much from the other teachers, from the parents of the children and from the children themselves.

I’m thankful that when my children were growing up, I spent as much time with them as I could…operating a home daycare enabled me to stay at home and be there to see them off to school as well as be there when they returned home in the afternoon.

I’m thankful that now that my children are grown, with families of their own, the bond we formed years ago has grown even stronger…we all look forward to each opportunity we have to spend time together.

I’m thankful that during my school and library Show-Me-How programs, I am able to connect with so many young children and pass along the messages in picture books that may help them deal with problems that concern them.

I’m thankful that when I do parent and teacher presentations, I can share my passion for using picture books and positive parental participation to build self-esteem, develop literacy skills and strengthen the parent-child connection.

I’m thankful that because of my book journey, I’ve been able to connect with wonderful people…awesome bloggers, other authors who are generous with their time and expertise, and so many more.

I’m thankful for my husband of forty-four years who has been so supportive of everything I am involved in…we still enjoy being with each other, whether we are hiking or fly-fishing in the Colorado Rockies or sitting toe-to-toe on the couch watching a movie together.

Getting ready for a day of fishing!

I’m thankful for my health and my ability to do what I need to do and want to do.

I’m thankful to live in a country where I can do what I need to do and want to do…and where there are places of beauty and wonder still to be explored.

As this year draws to a close, I look back with thanks for all that I have and I look ahead, with eager anticipation, to what the future may bring.

What are you thankful for? Please do share.

Chlldren’s Birthday Parties: Then and Now

Posted on November 1, 2011 by viviankirkfield

“Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday dear………”

Do you remember the birthday parties you had when you were a child?

I do, even though it was a long, long time ago. 🙂

My mom would bake a cake and invite a few of my friends over. We would play games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey and Musical Chairs. Then I would open the presents and thank each child for the gift, saving all of the ribbon and wrapping paper for future arts and crafts projects. Then we children would sit down and my mom would bring in the cake with candles lit while everyone sang Happy Birthday. When the party was over, I would hand each child a little bag with a few small items: balloon, whistle, box of cracker-jack.

Parties these days are often very different. Many children go to preschool or other childcare facilities where they have a dozen friends or more. Add to that neighbor children and family members and you can wind up with a list of two dozen children that need to be invited. In addition, in many families, both parents are working outside the home and having such a big party at home is more than they can cope with.

A whole new industry has emerged: facilities that cater to parties for two, three and four year olds. There are bounce house and other indoor playground-type facilities, in addition to museums, zoos and farms that will put together a program of activities including food and time for opening presents…all supervised by their employees.

Earlier this month, I visited my daughter and her family in New Hampshire and helped celebrate my grandson’s third birthday at BounceU in Bedford, NH. The children had a ball! Parents could participate with their children if they wanted to…climbing and sliding and bouncing. The pizza they served was pretty good and the birthday cake was delicious. One of the employees even sat close, writing down who the gift was from and what it was, while presents were being unwrapped.

I know my grandson had a wonderful time and was thrilled to have all of his friends wishing him a happy birthday. All of the children were delighted with the activities and their parents were pleased with the BounceU facility.

The big birthday party was celebrated on a Sunday, but my grandson’s actual birthday fell on the next day. His dad had to work, but came home early so that we could all spend the afternoon at a beautiful nearby park.

Jeremy got to try out the birthday present he had received from his Grampy, a new fishing rod!

And when we got home, Jeremy got to open presents from his mom and dad…and blow out the candles on a small birthday cake that was just perfect for the four of us.

I was happy that Jeremy got to experience these two different birthday celebrations. Although the larger party was certainly lots of fun, there were elements in the smaller one that made it so very special and harkened back to those parties of long ago.

What are your thoughts?

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