A Parenting Lesson from Buck, the Horse Whisperer

Posted on October 23, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Last night we watched “Buck”, a documentary about a horse whisperer that is an absolute must-see for every parent and teacher.

“Horse whisperer?” you say. “I raise (or teach) children, not horses.”

Please let me explain.

Buck Brannaman was raised by a bullying abusive father. As young boys in the 1960’s, he and his brother performed as trick rope artists. On the surface, the life of these children looked glamorous…fancy cowboy outfits, cereal commercials on TV, traveling across the country. But behind closed doors, Buck’s father beat them mercilessly. When a school coach discovered the situation, he intervened and Buck and his brother were sent to a foster home.

Fortunately for Buck, the Shirley’s were loving nurturing foster parents who understood that he needed to learn to believe in himself before he could trust and believe in others.

Parenting is a very difficult task, probably the hardest job in the world. And we often model our parenting on the way our own parents behaved towards us when we were children. Problems arise when our parents were not good role models…and that’s what is so amazing about this documentary. It reveals that Buck was able to turn his back on the bad parenting he had experienced as a young child and instead, mirror the skills of his foster parents, not only with his own child, but also with horses.

Buck travels around the country forty weeks out of the year giving four-day horse clinics. People come with their horses to learn how to improve the connection between horse and rider.

Can we take some of Buck’s horse whisperer advice and apply it to our own situations, raising our children and improving the parent-child connection?

We definitely can and should!

1. Take Buck’s advice, “live in the moment…you don’t have to live in the past”. If your parents lacked good parenting skills, find other role models and do a better job with your own children. There are many resources in your area that you can turn to for help and support.

2. “Horses (and children) are a mirror of your soul”, as Buck so aptly put it…observe the behavior (or misbehavior) and then see what you are doing (or not doing) that might account for that behavior. If your child is exhibiting a behavior that is inappropriate, you need to act…be consistent, enforce consequences, and always show compassion. Again, local agencies are available to offer help and support.

3. Buck says, “discipline and encourage…don’t discipline and discourage”. If you feel that you and/or any other adult in the home have anger management issues or you have a concern for the safety of your children or yourself, contact Childhelp immediately or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

You’ll find similar suggestions in my book for parents and teachers, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking.

HAPPY HOLIDAY SPECIAL

GET A HEAD START ON YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING

For a LIMITED TIME (October 23 – November 23), we are offering a brand-new signed and inscribed copy of Show Me How! for $19.95. This is the lowest priceit has even been…over 50% off the cover price! You won’t find a new copy cheaper ANYWHERE. This is a ONE MONTH on-line special only on my website where you can purchase the book securely through PayPal and or on Amazon, if you prefer.

What a great gift this book makes for parents, grandparents, preschool and nursery teachers, nannies, daycare providers, babysitters and early childhood education students! Are any of those people on your holiday gift list?

“The book is both a tool and a workbook that helps loving adults encourage children to identify and safely communicate their feelings, to develop skills to problem solve and to make healthy choices.” – Ellen Levy, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director, Adoption Choice Center, Colorado Springs, CO

Story suggestions help you choose the right book to read with your child.
Arts and crafts projects are QUICK AND EASY.
Recipes are CHILD-FRIENDLY AND HEALTHY.
Empowers parents
Engages children

Click here for another great review of Show Me How! And please don’t put off buying a copy at this great price…for under $20 you will be giving a unique personalized gift to a friend, teacher or family member and the gift of self-esteem to a child.

Three Generations Enjoy a Beautiful Autumn Day at the Lake

Posted on October 19, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Are you looking for activities that can be enjoyed by three generations.

Do you want grandparents, parents and children to have fun together?

Several activities come to mind: reading, crafting, cooking, gardening and fishing.

This past week, when I was visiting my daughter and her family, we were able to do several of these and we all had an amazing time.

Encouraging young children to interact with their grandparents (or other older folk) is beneficial for everyone involved. Positive parental (or grandparental) participation is really an important component in building self-esteem and a positive self-image.

My grandson turned three on a Monday and his dad came home early from work so that we could all go for a lovely ride to see the fall foliage. Our destination was Wasserman Park, right in their town of Merrimack, NH.

While Jeremy and his dad played in the beautiful playground, my daughter and I put together the fishing rod and reel that had been one of the birthday presents from Jeremy’s Grampy, an avid fly-fisherman. Parents can purchase fishing rod and reel combos at their local Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart for about $20. You don’t have to buy the real kiddy ones that are more like toys. Just make sure the rod is not too long and the reel is easy to operate. This is a wonderful investment that will provide fun for the entire family and will help build a strong parent-child connection.

Down at the lake, Jeremy settled himself comfortably in my lap and we began to fish. Holding the rod grip in his left hand, he helped me cast out the little rubber worm. “Look, look, there’s my bobber!” he shouted excitedly. As he reeled in the line, the bobber skated across the surface of the water. When the bobber and worm had been retrieved, Jeremy cried, “Let’s do it again!”

And we did…dozens of times.

I’d like to say we caught lots of fish…but, to tell you the truth, no one cared that we didn’t even get a bite.

We all had the best time, enjoying the beautiful autumn day at a lake surrounded by the reds and yellows and greens and golds of the trees ablaze with their fall finery.

If you are looking for other activities that parents, grandparents and children can participate in together, just buy a copy of Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking. It’s the perfect choice if you need EASY arts and crafts or QUICK healthy recipes. You’ll also find lots of picture book summaries and parenting tips that build self-esteem, develop literacy skills and strengthen the parent-child connection. Check out the online special on my website…I think you’ll agree that THE PRICE IS RIGHT! With holiday gift-giving fast approaching, why not take care of some of the people on your list by buying a few…parents, grandparents, daycare providers, nursery and preschool teachers, nannies, babysitters and early childhood education students would all appreciate this award-winning resource.

“This exceptional guide will make learning fun for all involved while creating bonds between parent and child.” – Dr. Peter Clothier, Family Physician, CO

Click here to read a recent 5-star review of Show Me How! by children’s picture book author, Martha Rodriguez.

Autumn is in the Air: Time to Turn on the Oven and Bake a Cake

Posted on September 19, 2011 by viviankirkfield

I love the fall…cool crisp mornings and warm sunny afternoons.

Here in Colorado, the aspen leaves will be turning to gold, while back in New England where my daughter and her family live; the maples will be wearing flaming headdresses of scarlet, crimson and purple.

Many parents will be helping their children plan their Halloween costumes and decorate the house with pumpkins and sheaves of autumn wheat and Indian corn. Years ago, our local library had an annual pumpkin-painting contest and all of my children looked forward to choosing the “perfect” pumpkin to decorate and enter…hoping to win the coveted first place prize ribbon.

As the weather cools down, many of us start getting out the muffin pans and cookie sheets in preparation for holiday baking. I encourage parents to include their children in meal preparation…and holiday baking is an especially fun time to have your kids in the kitchen. If you are looking for simple child-friendly recipes, you’ll find dozens of them in my book, Show Me How!

Here’s a wonderful recipe for Carrot Cake that doesn’t appear in the book. It’s special enough for festive occasions, but simple enough so that young children can help.

The best thing about this cake is that it is very nutritious (one pound of carrots in each cake) and easy on the digestive system. I recommend it for anyone who suffers from IBS or GERD problems.

CARROT CAKE

You will need: 1½ cups flour, ¾ cup sugar, 1½ tsp baking powder, ¾ tsp baking soda, 1 tsp cinnamon, ¼ cup brown sugar, 1 egg beaten, ½ cup canola oil, 1 tsp vanilla, zest of 1 orange, 1 pound baby carrots grated, ¾ cup pineapple chunks with juice (about ½ cup), 2 bowls, 1 Bundt pan lightly greased, blender or food processor.

Mix in large bowl: flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon.
Mix in another bowl: brown sugar, beaten egg, canola oil, vanilla, orange zest.
Use a blender or food processor to grate the carrots and add the pineapple chunks and juice and blend until fairly smooth.
Add the carrot/pineapple mixture to the brown sugar/egg mixture and stir well till blended.
Add this to the flour mixture and stir gently but thoroughly..
Pour/spoon into lightly greased Bundt pan and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.
Remove from oven and place on wire rack to cool. After 30 minutes or so, turn upside down on a serving plate and allow the cake to continue cooling.
For storage, cover with plastic wrap and keep in the refrigerator up to one week.

For parents who are local to the Colorado Springs area

PLEASE SAVE THE DATE

STAYING HEALTHY

THIS SCHOOL YEAR!

SHOW-ME-HOW STORY-TIME PROGRAM

Saturday, September 24, 2011

12 to 12:45pm

Family Christian Store: 7165 N. Academy

719-598-1500 to RSVP

Or email vivian@positiveparentalparticipation.com

Bring your young children and listen to a story
Help your child make a simple craft project
Get a free flyer: Have a Healthier School Year

Vivian Kirkfield is a local author, former kindergarten and Head Start teacher and mom of three. Her parenting program and award-winning activity book for ages 2-7, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking, has helped thousands of parents build self-esteem, develop pre-literacy skills and create a stronger parent-child connection.