Everything You Do Will Always Leave A Mark

Posted on January 8, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

Have you heard the story of the pencil maker and the five important lessons he told the pencil just before putting it in the box?

When I heard the story, I was struck by the parallel between a pencil and a parent. This post is the first of five that will consider those five lessons.

LESSON #1: EVERYTHING YOU DO WILL ALWAYS MAKE A MARK

Kind of scary, isn’t it, especially when you’re a parent? We’re not talking about leaving a physical mark – although unfortunately, that happens all too often, especially as people get stressed with financial worries, health problems, and relationship issues. The scars caused by verbal and emotional abuse can be more dangerous than the physical ones. They are not seen and often not addressed – and they can last forever, affecting a person’s ability to connect with others and reach their own potential.

Children are very vulnerable because they view their parents as PERFECT HEROES, at least when they are very young.

So, how can we leave “positive marks” on our children? I’m an advocate of Positive Parental Participation…the joyful, non-judgmental interaction of parent with child. This method of parenting

Does NOT allow children to do as they please, nor does it encourage the child to make the rules.
Does call for setting routines, encouraging independence and responsible behavior, creating a balanced day and, above all, loving your child unconditionally.
Does allow for appropriate consequences if a child misbehaves.
Does encourage spending quality time with your child – reading, crafting, cooking or doing whatever activities you enjoy together. Make mundane chores like cleaning the house a fun-filled experience by listening to music and dancing and dusting together.
Does support listening to your child with respect when he has something to say. Take his opinions and comments seriously. The bond you build with your child today will bear fruit in later years when he needs to share his problems and concerns and he turns to you.

This is easy advice to give – but I’ve been there and I do realize it is not always easy to accomplish and put into practice. And what if you are going through a difficult time with finances, health or relationships?

PLEASE – ASK FOR HELP! Your family doctor, religious advisor or even a good friend can listen and direct you to other sources of help. Local support groups exist for just about every issue you may be dealing with. In fact, JUST TALKING about your problem can help lift part of the burden. There are ALWAYS OTHER OPTIONS, no matter how frustrated or hopeless you feel. It’s really important, especially as a parent, to work at resolving your issues so that you will be able to be the person you were meant to be and the parent that your children need you to be.

Tune in tomorrow for the pencil maker’s Lesson #2: You Can Always Correct the Mistakes That You Make.

We’re All Afraid of Something Sometime

Posted on January 7, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
-Winston ChurchillWinston Churchill, prime minister of England during World War II, wanted to inspire his countrymen and motivate them to continue their fight against a formidable enemy. To learn more about this courageous man, go to

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill

What he said applies to our young children who often are beset with many different fears: fear of the dark and going to sleep, fear of monsters, fear of separation and getting lost, fear of new experiences and new places and fear of illness and death.Do you have a young child who is afraid of something? Is that fear keeping him or her from joining activities or socializing? Sitting down and talking to your child is a good step to take to try to help your child overcome that fear. But sometimes it’s hard to start a conversation about difficult topics. That’s why picture books are so valuable because they set the stage for a relaxed discussion about almost anything. For this situation,

a wonderful choice would be Frizzy The Fearful by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat. This little tiger is afraid of EVERYTHING, but with the help of his friends and mother, he learns that he can cope with those fears.

THE STORY: FRIZZY THE FEARFUL
Written by Majorie Weinman Sharmat
Illustrated by John Wollner Poor Little Frizzy Tiger! He is afraid of everything…high places and low places, the dark, loud noises, and pits in pit-less fruit. He avoids going places with his friends and he misses out on many fun-filled activities because he doesn’t want anyone to know how frightened he is. When he climbs a tree to help a friend, even though he is terrified, Frizzy realizes that everyone has fears and he begins to feel a little better about his own situation.

As you read the story with your child, you will have an opportunity to talk about it. When you are finished, ask your child to relay to you what happens in the story. You can share with your child about times that you were afraid of something and how you overcome your fear.

Participating with your child in a simple craft project is another great way to open a discussion. The following easy instructions

will produce a badge of courage that your child can wear with pride.Perhaps your child has just been to the dentist for a cleaning and went without making a fuss. Maybe he has finished his first week of nursery school and, even though he was anxious about being separated from you, he managed to enjoy his time there. Here is a badge of courage you can pin on your child that affirms his willingness to overcome his fears and accept life’s challenges.

THE CRAFT: A BADGE OF COURAGE

You will need: 2 pieces of construction paper (1 light and 1 dark), aluminum foil, ribbon, paste and a pair of scissors.1. Cut a 3-inch circle from dark paper and a 2-inch circle from aluminum foil and help your child paste the aluminum foil circle on the dark circle.
2. Cut a 1-inch circle from the light paper, write your child’s name on it and help him paste it in the middle of the aluminum foil circle.
3. Paste the ribbon at the back of the badge so it hangs down a few inches.
4. Pin the badge to your child’s shirt with a small safety pin.

Never Too Busy For Your Child

Posted on January 5, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Sometimes it’s really hard to juggle all we have to do as parents…home, family, work, social and/or athletic pursuits. Yesterday I offered a few simple suggestions that will save time.

So what should you do with that extra time? If you have a young child, why not read a story with him or her and do a little eco-friendly craft project and a child-friendly healthful cooking activity? The time we spend participating positively with a child leave a lasting impression on him and help build self-esteem and a life-long parent-child bond.

THE BOOK: The Very Busy Day written by Diana Hendry and illustrated by Jane Chapman

Big Mouse is busy working hard in the garden and constantly grumbles that Little Mouse should help him instead of continuing his seemingly useless daydreaming. Little Mouse, however, has not been wasting his time, and has actually prepared a picnic for Big Mouse.

The story stresses the importance of spending time with your loved ones. Perhaps you and your child can tackle the task of simplifying and organizing together.

THE CRAFT: HOMEMADE STORAGE BOXES

You will need: Shoeboxes and/or boot boxes (with lids) or other size cardboard boxes, self-adhesive shelf paper (or gift wrap…you will have to glue this on), labels made from a blank piece of paper.

1. Decide what toys or supplies will go in each box.

2. Cut the shelf paper to wrap around the outside of the box and lid and press in place.

3. Write the name on the label (and draw a picture) of the toys or supplies that will be stored in the box and attach to the box.

THE RECIPE: NO-BAKE PEANUT BUTTER BALLS

You will need: 1 cup peanut butter (health food stores often grind various nuts fresh daily and the cost is comparable to the leading brand peanut butters…for a little more money you could request cashew or almond butter for a different taste sensation), 1 cup honey, 2 cups non-fat dry milk powder, 1 ½ cups crushed cornflakes or shredded coconut for rolling the balls in, 1 large bowl, 1 cookie sheet lined with wax paper.

1. Mix the nut butter, honey and 2 cups of non-fat dry milk powder in a large bowl till well blended.

2. Roll mixture into small balls…about the size of a walnut.

3. Roll the balls in the crushed cornflakes or shredded coconut.

4. Place on waxed-papered cookie sheet and refrigerate for 15-20 minutes.

5. ENJOY!!!!!

6. Place uneaten balls in an airtight container and store in the fridge for up to a week.

7. This recipe makes about 18-24 pieces, 150-175 calories each…the more you make per batch, the smaller they will be and fewer calories each, of course.