The Grandma Chronicles: Where are the Side-Lanterns on my Car?

Posted on January 28, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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Have you ever done something wrong, but were afraid to admit it? And to cover it up, did you pass the blame off on someone else?

In my grandmother’s day, a husband’s word was law. I never knew my grandfather, who passed away when I was an infant, but I’ve heard that he was a strict man. My grandmother told me that at dinnertime, she would pass out books to each of her five children so that there would be quiet at the dinner table. I don’t know whether my grandmother and her husband conversed…but I know the children ate with their heads buried in their books. These days, most of us encourage conversation at the dinner table…it’s a wonderful time to relate the day’s events and share interesting moments. And, although we might be horrified at a father who insisted on silence during dinner, you’ll have to admit that this policy did provide time for the children to read. 🙂

My grandfather had purchased one of the first cars made…a Model T…and I’m sure he was extremely proud of it. I don’t know if you needed a license to drive a car in those days…but I know my grandmother didn’t have one…nor did she know how to drive. However, one spring morning she decided that it was time for her to drive the car. Taking it out on the street, she drove around the neighborhood, quite pleased with herself.

And then she came to a very narrow street.

With cars parked on both sides.

And both side-lanterns were ripped off.

As the last rays of the setting sun glinted off the shiny black surface of the car, my grandfather returned home from work. I can imagine his horrified stare as he realized that the side-lanterns of his precious car were missing. His roar of rage could probably be heard half-way down the street…certainly my grandmother heard it in the kitchen where she was preparing dinner.

“What happened to the car? Did YOU drive it?” he shouted, angrily. My grandmother paused for only a moment and then replied softly, “Walter drove it and I don’t know where he is.”

Walter was their oldest son…probably about 15 years old at the time. As soon as she had returned home with the damaged car, my grandmother had told him the story and had pleaded with him to take the blame, but that she would hide him in the cellar for a few days until my grandfather had cooled off. After all, the family could continue along for a few days without Walter, but what would the other children do if something happened to her.

I guess my grandfather did cool off, because years later, when I knew my uncle Walter, he was a successful musician, and he did NOT live in the cellar. 🙂

This story made a very deep and lasting impression on me when my grandmother told it to me many years ago. The lesson I learned was that if you want a child (or anyone) to tell you the truth, you have to:

Try to listen without judgment or condemnation.
Try to be patient.
Try not to scream or scold or lose your temper.
Deal out fair and reasonable punishments or consequences for misbehavior.

Positive parenting takes time and effort…laying that foundation of trust and respect when children are young reaps wonderful benefits as they get older and helps create a life-long parent-child bond.

Please stop by tomorrow for the last installment of The Grandma Chronicles: Many Peach Trees Grow in Brooklyn.

Restful Sleep…Crucial Factor in the Fight Against Obesity

Posted on January 26, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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I know I feel out-of-sorts when I haven’t had a good night’s sleep. And I had heard (thought it was a rumor) that lack of sleep could cause weight gain.

Tonight, one of our local TV stations ran a special report on kids who get too little sleep being at risk for obesity and diabetes.

So I did a little research and found that studies have shown that “insufficient nighttime sleep among infants and preschool-aged children appears to be a lasting risk factor for subsequent obesity.” (WebMD Health News) http://children.webmd.com/news/20100907/sleep-linked-to-childhood-obesity

I’m always blaming fast food, super-sized meals and lack of exercise on the increase our country is seeing in childhood obesity and juvenile diabetes. But, now it seems that we can add another villain to the mix.

And that is one more reason to set up those bedtime routines for your children…and STICK to them. One of the pediatricians on the TV report had several suggestions:

Bedtime should be the SAME time EVERY night for your child.
Wind down 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime.
Children should be getting 9 to 10 hours of sleep every night.
If you are missing an hour or two of sleep for the week, you can catch up on some sleep on the weekends.

You can refer back to yesterday’s post about bedtime routines for more tips. https://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/bedtime-routines-rituals-and-can-i-have-one-more-glass-of-water-please/

In that post, I suggested you read CORNELIUS P. MUD, ARE YOU READY FOR BED? with your child and I provided a recipe for Overnight Cookies. Bedtime is a very special time for young children, but without routines and limits, many try to delay going to bed as much as possible. I promised to give you a simple craft project that may encourage good bedtime routines. With your help, your child can “set” his clock to the particular time when he will need to be ready for his bedtime story. Then he can check that time against the real clocks in the house and will know when he has to complete his toy cleanup in order to be ready for that special treat…the bedtime story.

NO TICK-TOCK CLOCK

You will need: A piece of cardboard (from a cereal box would be fine), metal paper fastener, construction paper, marker and scissors.

Cut a large circle (the clock face) from the cardboard.
Cut two “hands” (one longer and narrower than the other) from the construction paper.
Attach the hands to the center of the clock with the paper fastener.
Draw the numbers in the correct order on the clock face.

Parents…keep in mind that if you’ve been trying to lose a few pounds yourselves (as I have been), perhaps getting a good night’s sleep on a regular basis may do as much for you as cutting back on calories and exercising. In fact, if you treat all three elements…restful sleep, nutrition (not diet) and exercise with respect, you may be rewarded with better health than you ever had before. Believe me, I know how difficult it is to call it quits for the night…there always seems to be something else that MUST be done…laundry folded, dishes put away, lunches made for the next day, bills to pay and checkbook to balance…the list goes on and on. This is another reason that making lists of short and long-term goals as well as a daily to-do will help organize and prioritize what needs to be done.

P.S. This post somehow got put in drafts and didn’t get posted on Tuesday…sorry. 🙂

Stop by tomorrow for a look at a very special lady…my grandmother…she was a role model for Positive Parental Participation in an era before spending quality time with your children was a catch-phrase.

God Couldn’t Be Everywhere, So He Created Grandmas

Posted on January 26, 2011 by viviankirkfield

GOD COULDN’T BE EVERYWHERE

SO HE CREATED GRANDMAS

This plaque hangs in my kitchen. It was given to me by my daughter, after her son was born. It is so very meaningful to me, and I smile every time I pass it by, not only because I’m thrilled to be a grandma to one of the world’s most adorable, smart, sweet, loving, handsome, and wonderful little boys in the world, but also because it brings back my memories of my own grandmother.

If I close my eyes, I can still see her, sitting in her antique rattan rocking chair, arms outstretched, ready to enfold any child in need of love and a listening ear.

This amazing woman cherished children and was always eager to praise your drawing made at school even though the people were stick figures and the trees were lopsided, listen to you practice the piano no matter how many wrong notes you hit, or just hold you. She was a role model for Positive Parental Participation in an era before experts were encouraging parents to spend quality time with their children.

When I was ten years old, a wonderful thing happened. My family moved into my grandmother’s house! She was getting older and my parents and my aunts and uncles were uncomfortable having her live on her own. I don’t know how easy it was for my parents to coexist in this multi-generational home, but for my sister and me…it was heaven! Now we could have access to this very special person on a daily basis, not just on weekend visits.

My favorite time was early Sunday mornings. My parents and sister would sleep a little later, but my grandmother was an early riser. I would tip-toe downstairs to the kitchen where I would find her, drinking coffee and dipping her dry bread into it. She would take down an old porcelain cup, pour in a splash of coffee and fill it to the rim with milk and hand it to me. Starbucks’ lovers…eat your hearts out…there is no coffee drink available today that can compare to that nectar from the gods. 😉

After we finished our petit dejeuner or little breakfast, my grandmother would go to the pantry (yes, a real old-fashioned pantry that was like a walk-in closet) and get out bowls, flour, sugar and various other ingredients and we would spend the next few hours preparing apple pies and other amazing dishes. Perhaps that is where I learned my love of cooking and baking and it is definitely one of the reasons I included a cooking activity with each story recommendation in my book for parents of preschoolers. I understand how important it is to participate positively with young children and encouraging your child to help in the kitchen will build self-esteem and create a life-long parent-child bond.

I have two stories to relate about my grandmother…she was only human, after all. One shows that she didn’t always use commonsense, and the other…well, if it happened today and the authorities found out about it, she would probably be in jail. But, it was another time and people had a different mind-set about parenting. Stop by tomorrow to find out about “curtains for dinner” and “the new car that lost its side-mirrors”.