Chlldren’s Birthday Parties: Then and Now

Posted on November 1, 2011 by viviankirkfield

“Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday dear………”

Do you remember the birthday parties you had when you were a child?

I do, even though it was a long, long time ago. 🙂

My mom would bake a cake and invite a few of my friends over. We would play games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey and Musical Chairs. Then I would open the presents and thank each child for the gift, saving all of the ribbon and wrapping paper for future arts and crafts projects. Then we children would sit down and my mom would bring in the cake with candles lit while everyone sang Happy Birthday. When the party was over, I would hand each child a little bag with a few small items: balloon, whistle, box of cracker-jack.

Parties these days are often very different. Many children go to preschool or other childcare facilities where they have a dozen friends or more. Add to that neighbor children and family members and you can wind up with a list of two dozen children that need to be invited. In addition, in many families, both parents are working outside the home and having such a big party at home is more than they can cope with.

A whole new industry has emerged: facilities that cater to parties for two, three and four year olds. There are bounce house and other indoor playground-type facilities, in addition to museums, zoos and farms that will put together a program of activities including food and time for opening presents…all supervised by their employees.

Earlier this month, I visited my daughter and her family in New Hampshire and helped celebrate my grandson’s third birthday at BounceU in Bedford, NH. The children had a ball! Parents could participate with their children if they wanted to…climbing and sliding and bouncing. The pizza they served was pretty good and the birthday cake was delicious. One of the employees even sat close, writing down who the gift was from and what it was, while presents were being unwrapped.

I know my grandson had a wonderful time and was thrilled to have all of his friends wishing him a happy birthday. All of the children were delighted with the activities and their parents were pleased with the BounceU facility.

The big birthday party was celebrated on a Sunday, but my grandson’s actual birthday fell on the next day. His dad had to work, but came home early so that we could all spend the afternoon at a beautiful nearby park.

Jeremy got to try out the birthday present he had received from his Grampy, a new fishing rod!

And when we got home, Jeremy got to open presents from his mom and dad…and blow out the candles on a small birthday cake that was just perfect for the four of us.

I was happy that Jeremy got to experience these two different birthday celebrations. Although the larger party was certainly lots of fun, there were elements in the smaller one that made it so very special and harkened back to those parties of long ago.

What are your thoughts?

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The Day No One Played Together: A Story About Compromise Gets a 5-Star Review

Posted on October 30, 2011 by viviankirkfield

“Mommieeeeee……..Crystal won’t play with me!!!!!!”

If you have young children, I’m sure you have heard something like this before.

We are always working on interpersonal relationships, even as adults…and children need to learn how to get along with others, whether siblings or friends.

Do you wonder if your children will ever get along and do you pray for an answer?

Children’s book author, Donalisa Helsley, has obviously been listening!

Her newest book, The Day No One Played Together: A Lesson About Compromise, is a beautifully illustrated (by the talented Sarah Harkey) story of two sisters who want to play together. However, each wants the other to play HER game. When the sisters come to a stalemate, their mom steps in with a suggestion: COMPROMISE. The girls begin to brainstorm many ideas of how they can incorporate what each wants to do so that they can play together. They happily solve their problem and the book ends with the sisters spending the rest of the day playing with each other. Parents: grab a copy of this book…read it with your children…help them apply the concept of compromise next time there is an argument…and enjoy the peace and harmony.

On the last page of the book, Ms. Helsley provides a simple definition of some of the words in the story that young children might be hearing for the first time. I love this feature of the book…we should always encourage children to understand what they are reading or hearing…this helps build their vocabulary…one of the most important components of literacy.

You can find out more about this great children’s author by visiting her website: www.wildaboutreading.net

You can like her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/wildaboutreading

You can contact her: wildaboutreading@ymail.com

The book is available for purchase on Amazon, B&N.com, Goodreads and the author’s website. I definitely recommend The Day No One Played Together: A Story About Compromise as a MUST-HAVE for every young child’s bookshelf and the library in every preschool and kindergarten classroom.

I’m grateful to Ms. Helsley for sending me a copy of her book. It was my pleasure to read it and my honor to review it. I plan to use the book in my Show-Me-How Story-time with Miss Vivian programs in local schools and libraries during the next few months. I know the children will love hearing about Jadyn and Genesis and will be able to relate what happened to the two sisters in the story to their own struggles with getting along with their playmates. For 100 other picture book recommendations and activities to go along with them, check out the BIG holiday online special of Show Me How!

A Parenting Lesson from Buck, the Horse Whisperer

Posted on October 23, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Last night we watched “Buck”, a documentary about a horse whisperer that is an absolute must-see for every parent and teacher.

“Horse whisperer?” you say. “I raise (or teach) children, not horses.”

Please let me explain.

Buck Brannaman was raised by a bullying abusive father. As young boys in the 1960’s, he and his brother performed as trick rope artists. On the surface, the life of these children looked glamorous…fancy cowboy outfits, cereal commercials on TV, traveling across the country. But behind closed doors, Buck’s father beat them mercilessly. When a school coach discovered the situation, he intervened and Buck and his brother were sent to a foster home.

Fortunately for Buck, the Shirley’s were loving nurturing foster parents who understood that he needed to learn to believe in himself before he could trust and believe in others.

Parenting is a very difficult task, probably the hardest job in the world. And we often model our parenting on the way our own parents behaved towards us when we were children. Problems arise when our parents were not good role models…and that’s what is so amazing about this documentary. It reveals that Buck was able to turn his back on the bad parenting he had experienced as a young child and instead, mirror the skills of his foster parents, not only with his own child, but also with horses.

Buck travels around the country forty weeks out of the year giving four-day horse clinics. People come with their horses to learn how to improve the connection between horse and rider.

Can we take some of Buck’s horse whisperer advice and apply it to our own situations, raising our children and improving the parent-child connection?

We definitely can and should!

1. Take Buck’s advice, “live in the moment…you don’t have to live in the past”. If your parents lacked good parenting skills, find other role models and do a better job with your own children. There are many resources in your area that you can turn to for help and support.

2. “Horses (and children) are a mirror of your soul”, as Buck so aptly put it…observe the behavior (or misbehavior) and then see what you are doing (or not doing) that might account for that behavior. If your child is exhibiting a behavior that is inappropriate, you need to act…be consistent, enforce consequences, and always show compassion. Again, local agencies are available to offer help and support.

3. Buck says, “discipline and encourage…don’t discipline and discourage”. If you feel that you and/or any other adult in the home have anger management issues or you have a concern for the safety of your children or yourself, contact Childhelp immediately or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

You’ll find similar suggestions in my book for parents and teachers, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking.

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“The book is both a tool and a workbook that helps loving adults encourage children to identify and safely communicate their feelings, to develop skills to problem solve and to make healthy choices.” – Ellen Levy, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director, Adoption Choice Center, Colorado Springs, CO

Story suggestions help you choose the right book to read with your child.
Arts and crafts projects are QUICK AND EASY.
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