When I was in school and writing a term paper, my mother always encouraged me to put my thoughts down on the paper as they came to me.  “Don’t worry”, she would tell me. “You can fix it later.  That’s why God invented erasers.” 

Now it’s true that life is not a school assignment.  And I don’t really believe that God invented erasers (although perhaps he inspired the person who did).

But I think the pencil maker’s instruction to the pencil – YOU CAN ALWAYS CORRECT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE – is an important concept for today’s parents to remember…for themselves and as they interact with their children.

1.     As a parent, we need to be willing to admit that we are not always right.  Yes, we may be HEROES to our young children, but if we make a mistake, we can admit that…to ourselves and to our children.  Children appreciate honesty and will follow your lead by being honest with you.  If you are non-judgmental, your child will be more likely to come to you when something is wrong.

2.     If your child is having trouble reaching a goal (like potty-training or mastering buttons and shoelaces), continue to be encouraging and patient.  We all need a cheering committee and parents are a child’s most important fans!  Perhaps you can share a similar experience from your childhood…this does not lessen your stature with your child…it only helps your child realize that he is not the only one who has difficulty with this and that he will succeed if he continues working at it.

3.     Allow your child to make mistakes and experience failure.  These are two of the most important lessons in life…if we always step in to “fix” things, our children will never learn to succeed on their own…real self-esteem is built on mastering tasks and skills and a genuine feeling of competence and confidence in one’s own abilities.  Keep an eye on your child’s frustration level and be willing to step in to lend a hand or suggest an alternate solution.

4.     Encourage your child to try new experiences…and try them with him or her.  Last week we went to see our twin 5-year old grandchildren ice-skating.  Our grand-daughter is learning figure-skating and whirled and twirled past us,  an amazing smile lighting up her face, while our grandson, outfitted in his team’s ice-hockey gear, whizzed by so fast, his name on the helmet was a blur.  Our son and his wife both skate with their children, encouraging them and supporting them and having a great time in the process: positive parental participation in action!

Tomorrow’s post: Lesson #3…What Is Important Is Inside Of You.