“I really want to have a baby!”
This is what a co-worker told me the other day. She also told me that her husband is not excited about the idea and she feels he is not ready to be a father. In addition, their relationship is, according to her, not in a very good place right now. And, she complained that she had trouble sleeping at night and didn’t function well if her sleep was disturbed.
Hmmmm….sounds like a recipe for disaster, wouldn’t you agree?
Deciding to have a baby is not like deciding to order fries with your meal or deciding to buy a red dress for a party. When the fries arrive, you can always throw them away if you’ve changed your mind or ask the waitress if you can have a baked potato instead. If the red dress doesn’t look good when you get it home, you can always return it or exchange it for a different one.
Becoming a parent is a forever decision…one not to be taken lightly. The people involved need to understand the implications and agree that it is something they both wish to undertake. Of course, sometimes pregnancies are unplanned and a surprise.
I’m always encouraging parents to read picture books with their children because part of my Positive Parental Participation program involves the utilization of the messages in picture books to help young children cope with many of the challenges they face in those early years.
One can say the same thing about movies. And, many movies contain important messages for adults.
My husband and I watched 9 Months with Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore on Netflix last night. If you are contemplating having a baby, this is the movie for you! It’s a light-hearted look at a young successful couple who have been living together very happily for five years. When Julianne discovers she is pregnant, Hugh is not happy about it, but she tells him that the baby won’t change their life. Then she tells him he will have to sell his sports car and get rid of the cat he has had for thirteen years. His disconnect causes her to leave him and she tells him, “You’re not ready to be a father!”
Will Hugh ultimately accept the situation? At the end of the movie, is he ready to be a father? Watch the film if you want a hilarious look at pregnancy, labor and delivery…with Robin Williams as the obstetrician, you are guaranteed to be rolling on the floor, laughing till it hurts.
But the movie has a serious side…it asks couples: are you ready to have a baby? It will change your life. It won’t make a weak marriage stronger. It will test the limits of your patience.
What are your thoughts? Please share them with us.
VIVIAN KIRKFIELD - Writer for Children 
I agree with you 100%, Vivian. Having a baby is a life-altering experience that is NOT right for everyone.
And 9 Months is a FUN and thought-provoking movie.
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What I want to know, Nancy, is how do you do it? You write amazing thought-provoking posts and visit many blogs and read and comment on those…I have trouble just keeping up with the commenting on my own…and barely have time to visit others. 🙂
I keep thinking there must be some organizational secret. 🙂
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I would love to know too? ♥ Jackie
and this blog is so wonderful.
All I know is I was not “ready” to have a baby at age 27- I did it, got divorced, raised her alone, and loved every single minute being a mom, now she is 17! 🙂
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Hi Jackie, Thanks for the comment! It is not easy to make a decision like that…it takes a lot of courage to go it alone! Raising a child can be a joyous, albeit difficult, experience. Congratulations! 🙂 All the best, Vivian
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Well, I don’t have kids . . . or grandkids.
And BFF does the cleaning and laundry.
That frees up lots of time for writing, visiting, and commenting. 😀
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Thanks for making me feel better…even so, I really admire your dedication and awesome writing. 🙂 You share your inner thoughts and feelings so that I feel that I know you as if we had been friends for years. 🙂
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Thanks, Vivian. I know exactly what you mean.
I have to remind myself at times that I have never actually met most of my cyberfriends. I am going to meet TWO this month ~ Renee Fisher (Life in the Boomer Lane) and Pixie (Sweet Days Under the Oaks)! 😀
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Being a parent is definitely not for everyone…but unfortunately, most of us are “taught” that having a baby is what women are supposed to do at some point in our lives. And our bodies seem to be programmed to encourage that path. 🙂
it was a fun movie…but with a serious message, I think…although everything worked out perfectly in the end…which is not always what happens in real life.
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Yep, it is not a good idea to have one if the relationship is heading south. Pregnancy is so demanding and having a loving, committed partner nearby is a huge blessing… Great post! 🙂
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Eliz, thank you for putting it that way…having a committed partner is definitely a great blessing and help. Pregnant women need to have a support group in place…and new moms (and dads) as well.
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The Johnson & Johnson commercial says “Having a baby changes everything” and it’s very true. And parenthood is not for everyone. But I do understand the feeling a woman can have about wanting to have a baby and feeling her clock ticking. Then it’s time to evaluate her current relationship and see if she’s with the “right” person. Never an easy decision to make.
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You are so right! Motherhood is not for everyone…nor is fatherhood. 🙂 And most of us are born with a “clock” that begins sounding the alarm if we have not had a baby by a certain age…and that alarm is very insistent…a built-in guarantee that the species will not perish, I guess. 🙂
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Oh my gosh, I can’t imagine how someone could honestly think about having a baby with those kinds of obstacles. Having a baby is a HUGE life shift. My husband and I want kids someday, but we also got married fairly recently and are enjoying having time to ourselves for now.
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Hi Annie,
Tnanks for stopping by. I love your comment…building a strong relationship with your husband is so important…even the closest most healthy partnership is tested when a baby is on the way.
I am so grateful to you for something else…I went to your blog (love it…so creative and a wealth of info and resources) and saw a link to another blog that caught my eye…Caps for Sale…one of my all-time favorite picture books. I discovered Anita’s The Children’s Book-A-Day Almanac. 🙂
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