Today’s post is a treat…my story for Susanna Leonard Hill’s 2nd Annual Valentiny Contest.
Before you read my entry, it might be fun for you to see a bit of the process I used in writing it.
- I read Susanna’s guidelines. Whether you are entering a contest or submitting a story to an agent or editor, ALWAYS make sure you follow the guidelines.
- When my kids were young, I loved baking cakes for their special occasions…and they loved eating them. I figured that a story about a cake might be something kids could relate to.
- Since the guidelines called for confusion on the part of one of the characters, I thought that it would add a bit of humor and tension to have the pastry chef perplexed by the stacking of the layers of the cake.
- Children need to identify with a character in the story so I added a young kitchen boy who saves the day.
- I wanted to add some fun words, so I checked the thesaurus for alternative terms for confused…I found a LOT and chose two that made me smile: befuddled and discombobulated…I hope they make kids smile also. I also gave her a name that’s a play on the famous Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. Kids may just laugh at the name, DOUGHLITTLE, but parents and teachers may enjoy the deeper joke.
- I wanted the reader to know that Eliza, the pastry chef, was a bit arrogant and full of herself…but in picture books, we are not supposed to TELL…we are supposed to SHOW. I didn’t say: Eliza was arrogant. Instead, I said: Eliza STRUTTED into the kitchen. If you close your eyes, you can just imagine how she entered the room. And before she began, she PUFFED UP HER CHEST. Yes, she’s quite vain about her baking abilities. When the young boy wants to help, Eliza PURSED HER LIPS AND RAISED HER EYEBROWS. Quite hoity-toity (hmmm…that’s another fun word…maybe next story).
- Keeping within the 214-word limit was a challenge…but I made it! I hope you enjoy my little story. If you want to read a whole bunch of wonderful Valentine’s Day tales or enter with your own story, please hop over to Susanna’s post.
A Valentine’s Day Cake for the Queen (210 words)
Pastry chef Eliza Doughlittle strutted into the castle kitchen. Valentine’s Day was tomorrow. The king had ordered a 7-layer cake for the queen. Eliza snapped her fingers. She puffed up her chest—she could do it!
She pulled out pans. She lined up ingredients. She studied the recipe.
“Can I help,” said a small voice from behind the flour sacks.
“How can you help me?” Eliza told the kitchen boy. “You scour pots and pans!”
Eliza measured. She mixed. She poured. She baked. She frosted. Perfection!
Eliza stacked the layers.
The cake leaned to the left.
Befuddled, Eliza tried again.
It leaned to the right.
Discombobulated, Eliza rearranged the layers.
The tower teetered
and
tottered.
“Please,” said the kitchen boy. “Let me help.”
Eliza pursed her lips. She raised her eyebrows. “What do you know about making cakes?”
“Not much,” said the boy. “But I stack stones by the riverbank.”
Eliza moved aside. The kitchen boy set the largest layer on the platter.
One
by
one,
he
stacked
each
layer.
Eliza peered at the cake from every side.
No teeter.
No totter.
Perfection!
“Thank you,” said Eliza. “Now I have a Valentine’s Day cake to present to the queen.”
“You’re welcome,” said the boy. “Now I have a job as assistant pastry chef.
##
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY.
If you’d like to read the other entries, please hop over to Susanna’s blog. The contest ends on February 14.
And on February 15th…HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS…we are going to unveil the 2nd Annual #50PreciousWords contest. You’ll have plenty of time to prepare your entry…the contest opens on March 2nd, the birthday of Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS THAT POST!
O, what sweet story, Vivian. You showed it very well. “It teetered. It tottered. Perfection!” Loved those lines.
All the best with your entry! ❤🎂🍰
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Thank you so much, Tracy…it was so much fun to write…I love playing with words.
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Wow! Adorable, funny, and concise!
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Glad you enjoyed it, Mary!
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What a sweet story! Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks, Jane…I need to hop to it and read some of the fabulous entries on Susanna’s page. 🙂
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SWEET story, Vivian! Eliza sounds a bit like me when I bake. Happy Big Birthday too! Maybe the assistant pastry chef can make you a fabulous cake. Enjoy 😉
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My daughter’s best friend brought me a cappucino cake, my son got a decadent chocolate cake for me, and at dinner on my birthday, the restaurant brought out what they called: sinfully chocolate delight…oh yes…I’ve had a year’s worth of cake calories in one weekend. 😉 Glad you like the story. 🙂
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I love that you wrote about your process and took us into your thinking on this entry, Vivian. Yay for the kitchen lad! Super story – you have mastered this one.
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Thank you so much, Kathy. It came to me that others might enjoy seeing how I came up with the words…glad you enjoyed it!
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Discombobulated and befuddled! I LOVE this. Vivian, you wrote a super fun and tasty Valentiny Contest entry.
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I thought kids would get a kick out of those words…happy you had fun reading it, Leslie. 😉
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Love your story! And, appreciated reading the process as well! I think you are a born teacher!😀 Good luck!
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Once a teacher, always a teacher. 😉 Yes, I taught kindergarten for many years…you can take the girl out of teaching…but you can’t take the teacher out of the girl…or something like that. 😉 So happy your enjoyed it!
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Vivian, marvelous solution of stacking and twist at the end❤ I know you will get a cake fit for a queen for your birthday 🎂
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I did, Janie…and so glad you had fun with this one. 😉
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I’ve had a few cakes teeter and totter on me, so I can relate to Eliza. Love the story!
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Yup…a couple of mine have leaned like the Leaning Tower of Pisa…that’s for sure…glad you loved the story, Jean.
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Sweet!
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And so are you for stopping by, Nancy!
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Very cute story, Vivian!
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Thanks, Shelley…glad you enjoyed it!
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Wonderful wordplay both audibly and visually! Love it, Vivian!
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I appreciate the kind words, Judy…can’t wait to read all of the entries. 🙂
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Love the language and your clever idea 🙂 I could envision the task and hear a strong voice for this kid friendly read. Good luck 🙂
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Wonderful praise, Charlotte..thank you so very much. .I always love Susanna’s contests. 😉
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So cute, Vivian. And so relatable and taste-able! I love how the tower teetered and tottered. And I hope that kitchen boy got the job!
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Oh yes…he most definitely did get the job, Jill. And I’m so happy you had fun reading it. 😉
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What an imaginative story, Vivian! And thanks so much for sharing the diabolical details.
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Well, I don’t know that it needed much imagination…I’ve had plenty of tipped cakes in my day. 😉 Glad you enjoyed it, Sue. 😉
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Glad that boy persisted! Thanks for sharing your process. It’s interesting to see how these stories evolve. Good luck!
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yes, persistance and determination…those traits we writers need to have, right? Thanks for stopping by, Jilanne. 😉
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Love your humor, Vivian! Great entry.
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Thank you, Sandy…glad it made you smile. 🙂
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Absolutely delicious Vivian!
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Glad you enjoyed it, Julie!
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Loved your entry Vivian. So sweet and real.
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Thank you so much, Diane!
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Clever! I enjoyed your fun entry.
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Glad you enjoyed it, Patricia…I really enjoyed working on it. 😉
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