Project 365 Challenge: Are You Thinking of Having a Baby?

Posted on January 15, 2012 by viviankirkfield

“I really want to have a baby!”

This is what a co-worker told me the other day. She also told me that her husband is not excited about the idea and she feels he is not ready to be a father. In addition, their relationship is, according to her, not in a very good place right now. And, she complained that she had trouble sleeping at night and didn’t function well if her sleep was disturbed.

Hmmmm….sounds like a recipe for disaster, wouldn’t you agree?

Deciding to have a baby is not like deciding to order fries with your meal or deciding to buy a red dress for a party. When the fries arrive, you can always throw them away if you’ve changed your mind or ask the waitress if you can have a baked potato instead. If the red dress doesn’t look good when you get it home, you can always return it or exchange it for a different one.

Becoming a parent is a forever decision…one not to be taken lightly. The people involved need to understand the implications and agree that it is something they both wish to undertake. Of course, sometimes pregnancies are unplanned and a surprise.

I’m always encouraging parents to read picture books with their children because part of my Positive Parental Participation program involves the utilization of the messages in picture books to help young children cope with many of the challenges they face in those early years.

One can say the same thing about movies. And, many movies contain important messages for adults.

My husband and I watched 9 Months with Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore on Netflix last night. If you are contemplating having a baby, this is the movie for you! It’s a light-hearted look at a young successful couple who have been living together very happily for five years. When Julianne discovers she is pregnant, Hugh is not happy about it, but she tells him that the baby won’t change their life. Then she tells him he will have to sell his sports car and get rid of the cat he has had for thirteen years. His disconnect causes her to leave him and she tells him, “You’re not ready to be a father!”

Will Hugh ultimately accept the situation? At the end of the movie, is he ready to be a father? Watch the film if you want a hilarious look at pregnancy, labor and delivery…with Robin Williams as the obstetrician, you are guaranteed to be rolling on the floor, laughing till it hurts.

But the movie has a serious side…it asks couples: are you ready to have a baby? It will change your life. It won’t make a weak marriage stronger. It will test the limits of your patience.

What are your thoughts? Please share them with us.

A Parenting Lesson from Buck, the Horse Whisperer

Posted on October 23, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Last night we watched “Buck”, a documentary about a horse whisperer that is an absolute must-see for every parent and teacher.

“Horse whisperer?” you say. “I raise (or teach) children, not horses.”

Please let me explain.

Buck Brannaman was raised by a bullying abusive father. As young boys in the 1960’s, he and his brother performed as trick rope artists. On the surface, the life of these children looked glamorous…fancy cowboy outfits, cereal commercials on TV, traveling across the country. But behind closed doors, Buck’s father beat them mercilessly. When a school coach discovered the situation, he intervened and Buck and his brother were sent to a foster home.

Fortunately for Buck, the Shirley’s were loving nurturing foster parents who understood that he needed to learn to believe in himself before he could trust and believe in others.

Parenting is a very difficult task, probably the hardest job in the world. And we often model our parenting on the way our own parents behaved towards us when we were children. Problems arise when our parents were not good role models…and that’s what is so amazing about this documentary. It reveals that Buck was able to turn his back on the bad parenting he had experienced as a young child and instead, mirror the skills of his foster parents, not only with his own child, but also with horses.

Buck travels around the country forty weeks out of the year giving four-day horse clinics. People come with their horses to learn how to improve the connection between horse and rider.

Can we take some of Buck’s horse whisperer advice and apply it to our own situations, raising our children and improving the parent-child connection?

We definitely can and should!

1. Take Buck’s advice, “live in the moment…you don’t have to live in the past”. If your parents lacked good parenting skills, find other role models and do a better job with your own children. There are many resources in your area that you can turn to for help and support.

2. “Horses (and children) are a mirror of your soul”, as Buck so aptly put it…observe the behavior (or misbehavior) and then see what you are doing (or not doing) that might account for that behavior. If your child is exhibiting a behavior that is inappropriate, you need to act…be consistent, enforce consequences, and always show compassion. Again, local agencies are available to offer help and support.

3. Buck says, “discipline and encourage…don’t discipline and discourage”. If you feel that you and/or any other adult in the home have anger management issues or you have a concern for the safety of your children or yourself, contact Childhelp immediately or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

You’ll find similar suggestions in my book for parents and teachers, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking.

HAPPY HOLIDAY SPECIAL

GET A HEAD START ON YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING

For a LIMITED TIME (October 23 – November 23), we are offering a brand-new signed and inscribed copy of Show Me How! for $19.95. This is the lowest priceit has even been…over 50% off the cover price! You won’t find a new copy cheaper ANYWHERE. This is a ONE MONTH on-line special only on my website where you can purchase the book securely through PayPal and or on Amazon, if you prefer.

What a great gift this book makes for parents, grandparents, preschool and nursery teachers, nannies, daycare providers, babysitters and early childhood education students! Are any of those people on your holiday gift list?

“The book is both a tool and a workbook that helps loving adults encourage children to identify and safely communicate their feelings, to develop skills to problem solve and to make healthy choices.” – Ellen Levy, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director, Adoption Choice Center, Colorado Springs, CO

Story suggestions help you choose the right book to read with your child.
Arts and crafts projects are QUICK AND EASY.
Recipes are CHILD-FRIENDLY AND HEALTHY.
Empowers parents
Engages children

Click here for another great review of Show Me How! And please don’t put off buying a copy at this great price…for under $20 you will be giving a unique personalized gift to a friend, teacher or family member and the gift of self-esteem to a child.

Top Ten Books You Were Forced to Read in School: Should You Read Them Again Now?

Posted on May 22, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Steacie Science and Engineering Library at Yor...

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On Sundays, I usually review and recommend (or not) a movie that I think parents would enjoy.

Today, I was online and happened to see some lists of the top ten in many categories.

I was intrigued by the following list: Top Ten Books You Were Forced To Read in School. Top Ten Books You Were Forced to Read in School

Scrolling through the list, it occurred to me that almost every one of them was a depressing tale of the darkest sides of man’s nature.

I’m not surprised that many high school students don’t want to read!

Here’s the list…what do you think?

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

2. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

3. A Separate Peace by John Knowles

4. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger

5. Animal Farm by George Orwell

6. Lord of the Flies by William Golding

7. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

8. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

9. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

10.Macbeth by William Shakespeare

Are these great works of fiction? Yes, they most certainly are. But they portray the worst of what we can be and only a few also show the better side of human nature.

It’s been so long since I’ve read these books. Many, if not all, have been made into movies. I believe it is time for me to revisit these classics in literature. I plan to start at the top and work my way down the list. Most of these books are probably available at the local library and I’m sure the film versions are available there as well. Perhaps next Sunday, I’ll be able to give you a movie review of To Kill a Mockingbird and I’ll let you know if it was true to the story as written in the book.

I’m not sure I agree that surrounding our junior high and high school students with depressing reading material is the right path. I think I’d prefer to see some book choices for them with a more positive slant on life and our journey through it. What are your thoughts?

If you are looking for positive stories and activities for your preschoolers, please check out Show Me How!, my award-winning book. You can get a copy for 50% off right now on my website. Summer is just around the corner and this great resource will provide you with story, craft and cooking activities that are easy, inexpensive and fun!

Also, if you are local to the Colorado Springs area (Monument, Woodland Park, Denver, Pueblo, etc.), please come by on June 11 from 10am to 2pm at the PBS Kids Fun Fest in Acacia Park in downtown Colorado Springs and say hello to Clifford the Big Red Dog, Curious George and me. I’ll be doing simple craft projects with children along with many other participants.

And last bur not least, please tune in on Tuesday, May 24 at 10am EST to www.RadioEarNetwork.com. Lisa Hein, host of Everyday Parenting, will be interviewing me. We’ll be talking about many topics that are of great interest and importance to all parents.