Chlldren’s Birthday Parties: Then and Now

Posted on November 1, 2011 by viviankirkfield

“Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday dear………”

Do you remember the birthday parties you had when you were a child?

I do, even though it was a long, long time ago. 🙂

My mom would bake a cake and invite a few of my friends over. We would play games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey and Musical Chairs. Then I would open the presents and thank each child for the gift, saving all of the ribbon and wrapping paper for future arts and crafts projects. Then we children would sit down and my mom would bring in the cake with candles lit while everyone sang Happy Birthday. When the party was over, I would hand each child a little bag with a few small items: balloon, whistle, box of cracker-jack.

Parties these days are often very different. Many children go to preschool or other childcare facilities where they have a dozen friends or more. Add to that neighbor children and family members and you can wind up with a list of two dozen children that need to be invited. In addition, in many families, both parents are working outside the home and having such a big party at home is more than they can cope with.

A whole new industry has emerged: facilities that cater to parties for two, three and four year olds. There are bounce house and other indoor playground-type facilities, in addition to museums, zoos and farms that will put together a program of activities including food and time for opening presents…all supervised by their employees.

Earlier this month, I visited my daughter and her family in New Hampshire and helped celebrate my grandson’s third birthday at BounceU in Bedford, NH. The children had a ball! Parents could participate with their children if they wanted to…climbing and sliding and bouncing. The pizza they served was pretty good and the birthday cake was delicious. One of the employees even sat close, writing down who the gift was from and what it was, while presents were being unwrapped.

I know my grandson had a wonderful time and was thrilled to have all of his friends wishing him a happy birthday. All of the children were delighted with the activities and their parents were pleased with the BounceU facility.

The big birthday party was celebrated on a Sunday, but my grandson’s actual birthday fell on the next day. His dad had to work, but came home early so that we could all spend the afternoon at a beautiful nearby park.

Jeremy got to try out the birthday present he had received from his Grampy, a new fishing rod!

And when we got home, Jeremy got to open presents from his mom and dad…and blow out the candles on a small birthday cake that was just perfect for the four of us.

I was happy that Jeremy got to experience these two different birthday celebrations. Although the larger party was certainly lots of fun, there were elements in the smaller one that made it so very special and harkened back to those parties of long ago.

What are your thoughts?

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A Parenting Lesson from Buck, the Horse Whisperer

Posted on October 23, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Last night we watched “Buck”, a documentary about a horse whisperer that is an absolute must-see for every parent and teacher.

“Horse whisperer?” you say. “I raise (or teach) children, not horses.”

Please let me explain.

Buck Brannaman was raised by a bullying abusive father. As young boys in the 1960’s, he and his brother performed as trick rope artists. On the surface, the life of these children looked glamorous…fancy cowboy outfits, cereal commercials on TV, traveling across the country. But behind closed doors, Buck’s father beat them mercilessly. When a school coach discovered the situation, he intervened and Buck and his brother were sent to a foster home.

Fortunately for Buck, the Shirley’s were loving nurturing foster parents who understood that he needed to learn to believe in himself before he could trust and believe in others.

Parenting is a very difficult task, probably the hardest job in the world. And we often model our parenting on the way our own parents behaved towards us when we were children. Problems arise when our parents were not good role models…and that’s what is so amazing about this documentary. It reveals that Buck was able to turn his back on the bad parenting he had experienced as a young child and instead, mirror the skills of his foster parents, not only with his own child, but also with horses.

Buck travels around the country forty weeks out of the year giving four-day horse clinics. People come with their horses to learn how to improve the connection between horse and rider.

Can we take some of Buck’s horse whisperer advice and apply it to our own situations, raising our children and improving the parent-child connection?

We definitely can and should!

1. Take Buck’s advice, “live in the moment…you don’t have to live in the past”. If your parents lacked good parenting skills, find other role models and do a better job with your own children. There are many resources in your area that you can turn to for help and support.

2. “Horses (and children) are a mirror of your soul”, as Buck so aptly put it…observe the behavior (or misbehavior) and then see what you are doing (or not doing) that might account for that behavior. If your child is exhibiting a behavior that is inappropriate, you need to act…be consistent, enforce consequences, and always show compassion. Again, local agencies are available to offer help and support.

3. Buck says, “discipline and encourage…don’t discipline and discourage”. If you feel that you and/or any other adult in the home have anger management issues or you have a concern for the safety of your children or yourself, contact Childhelp immediately or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

You’ll find similar suggestions in my book for parents and teachers, Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking.

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Protecting Our Children from Corporate Marketing

Posted on October 7, 2011 by viviankirkfield

I think this must be MY pumpkin!

How do you make your buying decisions?

Many factors probably go into the final decision about which car to purchase, what brand of spaghetti to grab from the store shelf, how many rolls of toilet paper to keep on hand in the closet. You might do research online when it comes to purchasing a car. You might ask a friend who has a reputation as a great cook which spaghetti she uses. You might figure out how much you will save if you buy the twenty-four roll pack as opposed to the four-roll pack.

One of the most influential factors in determining what we buy is corporate marketing.

Companies spend TRILLIONS of dollars to convince us to buy their products.

And, ever since the 1950’s, corporations have been marketing to children. However, their efforts have exploded in the last decade and I believe our children are at risk because of it.

Corporate marketing is ONLY concerned with the bottom line…SELL MORE AT GREATER PROFITS AT ANY COST! Our children are bombarded with commercials on TV, radio, magazines and the internet for biggie-sized food and fast-food meals with toys. Companies donate computer equipment to schools and infiltrate the classrooms with their branding messages. Juvenile diabetes, obesity and many attention deficit and hyperactive disorders in children are rising at a staggering rate. Life expectancy of today’s children will be lower than that of their parents, even though our medical technology is at its highest level ever. Is there a correlation between corporate marketing and these problems?
Corporate marketing is strongly GENDER DISCRIMINATING. If you watch commercials geared for young children, you will notice that boys are supposed to be strong, tough and ready to fight while girls are portrayed as pretty and sexy. Years ago there were many measures taken in the schools to educate teachers so they would respond to boys and girls on a fair and equal basis, encouraging girls to sign up for math and science classes and requiring boys to take home economics. Obviously, the companies that are looking to sell their products have other ideas in mind and they have reverted to the old ways.
Corporate marketing is attempting to turn our young children into life-long super-consumers who are shallow and are only concerned about themselves and getting the things they want. Most parents don’t realize the effect that all this branding and marketing has on young children.

Do you agree that this is a problem?

Do you feel parents need to protect their children from corporate marketing?

And if you do, what can we do?

Perhaps we can turn off the TV. That would be a start, but not the entire answer because the messages are on the internet, in the schools, in magazines…everywhere. If you are looking for ideas of what to do with your young children after the TV has been turned off, there are 100’s of fun-filled, educational, self-esteem building activities in Show Me How! This award-winning resource is available as a print book with lots of lined spaces for recording your child’s highlights or on Amazon’s Kindle.
Perhaps we also need to say “no” when our children come to ask for a particular toy or food if we feel it is not good for them.
Perhaps we can be good role models when it comes to not buying excess stuff or things that are not healthy for us.
Perhaps we can encourage our children to reach out, helping and giving to others. If you are looking for ideas along those lines, you can check out www.kidsareheroes.org, an organization devoted to spotlighting and supporting children who help others.