Temper Tantrums: 3 Winning Solutions!

Posted on February 19, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image by dschubba via Flickr

Whether it is weekly grocery shopping or a quick run out to grab a container of milk and a loaf of bread, if we take our preschoolers, there is always a possibility of a temper tantrum. WHAT! NOT MY CHILD! NO, NO, NOT EVER!…STAMPING MY FEET WITH STEAM COMING OUT OF MY EARS

Realistically speaking though, here are three easy discipline tricks that really work.

Make a game out of what must be done: Sing a silly song, make funny faces, say the ABC’s in a high/low voice. This works for things like buckling up the seat belt of the car seat (don’t all children hate that), leaving the toy store, putting on a jacket or hat.
Be matter-of-fact: Don’t ask, “Do you want to put on your jacket?” or “Shall we put that toy down because we are ready to leave?” Just say, “We are ready to leave and we are putting on our jackets.” (and maybe start singing a song about now we are putting our jackets on, jackets on, jackets on, etc.) Or, “It’s time to leave the store and put the toy back…which shelf are we putting it back on, the top shelf or the bottom shelf?” (always make sure that when you give your child a choice, BOTH choices will lead to the goal YOU have in mind)
Warn, distract, and then proceed with what needs to be done: Children like to know what the plan is…and they need to realize that what you say goes and that there is no discussion or negotiation. It helps, if possible, to give a warning. For example, when you need to leave the store, give your child a warning in a friendly upbeat tone of voice, “One more hug for mister bear and then we will put him back on his shelf and go and get a drink at the water fountain on our way to the car.” After the hug, help your child put the bear back, scoop him up, head towards the water fountain, singing a song about bears or water or whatever. Or, if you are at the library, you might say, “You can turn two more pages and then we will take our books to the librarian to check out so we can go home and read one of them. Again, scoop up your child (if there is any question he disagrees about your plan to leave), and head towards the library checkout. Let your child know you understand how he is feeling, “I bet you wish you could stay in the library all day, but it’s time to check out. You can hold the library card and give it to the librarian.”

One of the hardest things about dealing with preschoolers is that they are easily distracted and often cannot stick with one thing for very long. This distractibility is a blessing in disguise, however. No matter what they are involved in: looking at a book, playing with a toy, having a temper tantrum…they can almost always be distracted from it if your are able to turn their attention to something else. I am not really a very good singer, but when my children where little, I sang ALL the time…when I buttoned up their jackets, put them in the stroller, washed their hair. Silly songs, happy songs, high songs, low songs…it really worked! I can remember only one temper tantrum…one of my children (I won’t say which one) wanted a candy bar as we were checking out at the grocery store (don’t you LOVE how they put all those tempting sweets right at child-level?) and, being busy putting up the food on the counter and trying to watch the register read-out as the items were being scanned, I “ignored” my child’s rising whine of “I want a candy” and soon I had a 2-year-old laying flat on the floor, kicking his feet. Had I been paying attention and intervened at the start of this candy demand, I think I could have distracted him and avoided the temper tantrum altogether.

I posted this several months ago…but thought it might be a good companion post to the one I did yesterday that was devoted to shopping with preschoolers. I hope these three tips help smooth out those rough moments that will almost surely occur at one time or another. At home, having a plan and activities to do also helps a day with preschoolers run smoothly. Stop over at my website: www.positiveparentalparticipation.com and grab a copy of my new book that provides 100 simple craft projects and 100 easy recipes and 100 picture book summaries to help you fill your child’s days with fun-filled educational self-esteem building activities…on special now at half price!

Please stop by tomorrow for Cinema Sunday: My Picks of Great Flicks!

Do’s and Don’ts: Shopping With Preschoolers

Posted on February 18, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

Although we’d all probably like to leave our children at home when we go shopping, this is not always possible. So what can we do to make sure our shopping trips with preschoolers go as smoothly and safely as possible. Many of the following tips are from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I posted this back in November…but I see so many lost children, children climbing on shopping carts, etc. when I am at the store, I thought I should bring the article back again. 🙂

DO’S FOR SHOPPING WITH PRESCHOOLERS

Do keep children with you at all times.
Do accompany and supervise children in public restrooms.
Do have a plan in case you become separated…just like a fire safety plan which should be discussed at home and practiced routinely.
Do teach your child to look for people who can help…a uniformed security officer, salesperson with a name badge or another mother with children.
Do remind children to remain in the area where they became separated…there is a wonderful picture book story that addresses this issue…DON’T WORRY, I’LL FIND YOU by Anna Grossnickle Hines. When Sarah and her mother go the mall to buy Sarah some clothes, Sarah insists on taking her doll. When Sarah realizes she has left her doll at one of the stores, she runs to find it. Now, however, she doesn’t know where her mother is. Sarah remembers her mother’s instructions to “stay put” and so she remains at the toy store and soon mother and child are reunited. Read this story with your preschooler before your shopping trip and discuss the plan of action in case you become separated.

DON’TS FOR SHOPPING WITH PRESCHOOLERS

Don’t dress children in clothing that displays their first or last name…this may give strangers an opportunity to start a conversation with your child.
Don’t leave children in the toy area of a store expecting store personnel to supervise your child while you shop in another area of the store.
Don’t allow young children to shop on their own to purchase gifts for friends or family members.
Don’t shop with your child if you feel you will be distracted. Try to make other childcare arrangements…perhaps you and a friend who also has young children can take turns watching the children while the other goes shopping for a morning or afternoon.
Don’t allow children to push the shopping cart if there is a younger sibling in it…and don’t allow children to hang on the cart, even if it is empty…too many accidents occur when shopping carts tip over.

Important tip: Make sure you wipe off the cart with a sanitizer (many stores provide them near the carts now) and clean your child’s hands when you leave the store. Tawna at Random Thoughts, Advice, Gripes, etc. http://btrbb.blogspot.com/2011/02/prefenz-botanicals-alcohol-free.html is offering a giveaway of a great hand santizer product. Head on over and enter…just a few more days!

For busy parents, online shopping can be wonderful option. You can do it in the evening when the children are sleeping and avoid the crowds and parking hassles. If you do go out shopping with your children, keep these tips in mind. You’ll be glad you did! If you need a gift for a parent, grandparent, teacher or babysitter of a preschooler, I’d like to suggest my new book, SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SLEF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING. This great resource pinpoints 100 picture books every young child should hear and provides a story summary, gentle parenting tip, eco-friendly craft project and child-friendly healthful cooking activity for each recommended title. Hop over to my website: www.positiveparentalparticipation.com for a half-price special!

Healthy Habit Thursdays

Posted on February 17, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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I’d like to devote my Thursday blog posts to health issues. I’ll be revising a few of my older posts and then adding new ones down the road.

Staying healthy is not always easy, especially when we are busy. Eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, remembering to wash hands frequently and dressing properly for the weather…all are factors in keeping healthy. Paying attention to these may help you stay healthy, even when others are falling victim to colds and flu.

What we eat contributes to our overall state of health. As parents, not only should we oversee what our children are eating…we should also try to be good role models. I actually LOVE junk food…and work really hard to keep most of it out of the house because I know that if it is easily available, it will be eaten by ME! Here are some suggestions I have that work for me…I hope they work for you also.

Plan your weekly menus ahead of time…when we get busy as most of us are, failing to plan in this area is almost guaranteed to equal planning to fail. Fast-food, take-out or frozen TV dinners may have their place on occasion…but if you put aside 30 minutes a week to plan some basic well-balanced meals, your family will be eating more healthfully most of the time. This also allows you to maximize on weekly specials at your local stores. And, it gives you more time for other things…like time to read a book or take a bubble bath.
Choose one morning or one afternoon or one evening a week to turn on your oven and use it to prepare casseroles, a roast chicken, baked potatoes, healthy cookies/cakes/muffins. If you are able to put aside several hours on one day for this task, the rest of the week will be a breeze. Refrigerate or freeze what you have prepared and you will have healthy, ready-made meals for most of the week.
Include your family in the planning and preparing…picky or fussy eaters often eat what they help prepare. Children LOVE helping in the kitchen…it builds their confidence and self-esteem.
Think about portions…I truly believe that the large, super-sized meals that many of us eat, at home and in restaurants, are one of the largest contributing factors of childhood obesity. Just because the cereal bowl can hold 2 or 3 cups of cereal doesn’t mean we should fill it to the top…if you read the portion size on the box of cereal, you’ll see it says 1/2 to 1 cup, depending on the type of cereal. Dinner plates are really large…maybe you can use smaller plates when serving.
Remember to keep hydrated…I know that when I get busy, I forget to drink enough water…and then I think I am hungry and eat a couple of cookies, at 100 calories each, when what my body really wants is a glass of water. With NO calories! Also, try to nix the soda…full of empty calories and not much else except a college education for your dentist’s children.
Plan to have healthy snacks ready for hungry children and yourself between meals like carrot sticks and humus or apple slices and almond butter. Again, if we don’t plan ahead, we will probably grab the first thing we see…and that might be cookies or chips.
If it works with your schedule, try eating 6 smaller meals, instead of the traditional 3. When we are REALLY hungry, we tend to eat more than we should because we eat quickly and our internal hunger regulator doesn’t have time to kick in to tell us we are full. And, on the subject of full, try to stop eating BEFORE you feel full…if you feel full, you’ve had too much. This always happens to me when I go to an all-you-can-eat buffet…and I am never a happy camper afterwards.
Make sure you do allow yourself and your family some special food treats that are part of your holiday traditions or customs…denying oneself EVERYTHING we love is a sure way to feel deprived…and that often leads to overeating, oversnacking and going overboard. I actually have a small ice-cream (made with fat-free frozen yogurt, a handful of homemade granola and a few almonds) every night after dinner. I look forward to it and enjoy it immensely…it is my reward to myself for a good day’s work…and, so far, I haven’t had to hide the scale.

Check out the child-friendly healthful recipes in my new parenting book. There are snacks, salads, soups, and even main dishes. All of them are easy to make and most include low-fat, low-sugar, high fiber ingredients.