Pencil Maker’s 4th Lesson: In Life You Will Undergo Painful Sharpenings Which Will Only Make You Better

Posted on January 11, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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Have you ever watched a blacksmith working on a piece of iron? He handles it with long tongs and repeatedly passes the metal through the flames to heat it while he works on it. This tempers the iron and makes it stronger.

Life is like that with us. Some of us have to go through many painful experiences…emotional and/or physical. But when we emerge, we are stronger. Most of the time, we don’t purposely “walk into the fire”. When you think about it though, every time we step out of our “comfort zone” and learn a new skill or master a new task or take a new job or begin a new relationship, we are allowing ourselves to be tested and improved. This is lesson #4 of the pencil maker: In Life You Will Undergo Painful Sharpenings Which Will Only Make You Better.

How can we relate this to parenting? Our children look to us for guidance and direction as each day they face new experiences, develop new relationships and have to master new skills and tasks. If you think about it, young children are undergoing painful sharpenings on a daily basis.

1. We need to be good role models…you need to walk the walk, as they say, not just talk the talk. Don’t expect your children to follow one mode of behavior while you follow another.

2. We need to be caring of others…not only those we know like our friends and family. Help your children learn to reach out to others by sponsoring a child in a third world country or choosing to help out at a soup kitchen for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Make a family project of going through your children’s toys, books and clothes (and your own) and donate to a local shelter. Decide to give up going to the movies and eating out and get a free movie from your local library and have sandwiches at home instead…use the money you save to shop with your children for canned goods and bring them to a local food bank.

3. When your child experiences a sharpening in his or her life, be there in a supportive and loving role…if a beloved hamster dies, don’t make light of it even if the hamster wasn’t important to you. Treat your child’s feelings of grief and sadness with respect.

4. When you experience a sharpening in your life, such as losing a job or dealing with a serious health problem, try to be honest with your children. Young children can be tender and compassionate if you give them the opportunity and their self-esteem soars when you give them respect and listen to their suggestions.

5. We all want to protect our children from sadness or unhappiness…but these emotions are a part of life…sheltering a child from ever experiencing these feeling will not enable him to learn to cope with the challenges life will inevitably bring his way.

The frightening tragedy this past week has left many, both adults and children, dealing with a plethora of negative feelings: pain, disbelief, anger, sadness. Reading a children’s picture book will not take these feelings away, but it can open a window for discussion and allow a child to be more comfortable talking about his feelings or concerns. A few good children’s picture books for acknowledging and coping with grief and sadness are:

AFTER CHARLOTTE’S MOM DIED written by Cornelia Spelman

NANA UPSTAIRS, NANA DOWNSTAIRS written and illustrated by Tomie dePaola

GOODBYE MOUSIE written by Robie Harris

Tune in tomorrow for the last lesson of the Pencil Maker: To Be The Best Pencil, You must Allow Yourself To Be Held And Guided By The Hand That Holds You.

The Pencil Maker’s 3rd Lesson: What Is Important Is Inside Of You

Posted on January 10, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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Look in the mirror. What do you see? A man or a woman, someone who is heavy or thin, tall or short, with hair that is curly or wavy or straight or a head with no hair at all. When someonelooks at you, can they know if you are courageous, or shy, or smart or compassionate?

The pencil maker’s third lesson to the pencil is: WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS INSIDE OF YOU.

How true this is! A person’s character is not displayed on his face. We cannot tell by looking at someone what kind of person they are. But how often do many people judge others by what they see on the surface.

There’s an old saying…you can’t tell a book by its cover. And the uniqueness of each individual is often hidden within.

1. In order to accept and love others as they are, we need to accept and love ourselves as we are. Never stop trying to be the best person you can be…but don’t berate yourself for your failings or weaknesses. If you need help overcoming or dealing with a problem, ask for it…join a support group, talk to a friend…don’t give up.

2. We can help our children become accepting and loving people by encouraging them to accept and love who they are and by loving them unconditionally. Celebrate your child’s unique qualities and strengths.

3. Sometimes it is difficult when a child displays different interests or talents from those of the rest of the family. But life shouldn’t be a paint-by-number existence. This is a parent’s opportunity to encourage these special gifts.

My passion for children’s picture books evolved into a program for preschoolers utilizing picture books and their messages to help children deal with many of the issues they encounter in their early years. The main characters in the following books express their individuality and, even though they are not always accepted or understood, they stay true to their inner self and persevere. Look for them in your local library or bookstore. Why not plan to read one with your child? Just by spending time participating positively with your children tells them they have value…one of the basic components of a positive self-image.

BRAVO MAURICE written and illustrated by Rebecca Bond

SHY CHARLES written and illustrated by Rosemary Wells

CROW BOY written and illustrated by Taro Yashima

OLIVER BUTTON IS A SISSY written and illustrated by Tomie de Paola

Tune in tomorrow for Lesson #4: In Life, You Will Undergo Painful Sharpening Which Will Only Make You Better.

By the way, there are so many valuable blogsites out there for parents…and giveaways galore…from time to time I’ll provide a link to a blog hop which can introduce you to many great bloggers at one time..check this one out: <script src=”http://www.linkytools.com/basic_linky_include.aspx?id=67827” type=”text/javascript” ></script>

We’re All Afraid of Something Sometime

Posted on January 7, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
-Winston ChurchillWinston Churchill, prime minister of England during World War II, wanted to inspire his countrymen and motivate them to continue their fight against a formidable enemy. To learn more about this courageous man, go to

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill

What he said applies to our young children who often are beset with many different fears: fear of the dark and going to sleep, fear of monsters, fear of separation and getting lost, fear of new experiences and new places and fear of illness and death.Do you have a young child who is afraid of something? Is that fear keeping him or her from joining activities or socializing? Sitting down and talking to your child is a good step to take to try to help your child overcome that fear. But sometimes it’s hard to start a conversation about difficult topics. That’s why picture books are so valuable because they set the stage for a relaxed discussion about almost anything. For this situation,

a wonderful choice would be Frizzy The Fearful by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat. This little tiger is afraid of EVERYTHING, but with the help of his friends and mother, he learns that he can cope with those fears.

THE STORY: FRIZZY THE FEARFUL
Written by Majorie Weinman Sharmat
Illustrated by John Wollner Poor Little Frizzy Tiger! He is afraid of everything…high places and low places, the dark, loud noises, and pits in pit-less fruit. He avoids going places with his friends and he misses out on many fun-filled activities because he doesn’t want anyone to know how frightened he is. When he climbs a tree to help a friend, even though he is terrified, Frizzy realizes that everyone has fears and he begins to feel a little better about his own situation.

As you read the story with your child, you will have an opportunity to talk about it. When you are finished, ask your child to relay to you what happens in the story. You can share with your child about times that you were afraid of something and how you overcome your fear.

Participating with your child in a simple craft project is another great way to open a discussion. The following easy instructions

will produce a badge of courage that your child can wear with pride.Perhaps your child has just been to the dentist for a cleaning and went without making a fuss. Maybe he has finished his first week of nursery school and, even though he was anxious about being separated from you, he managed to enjoy his time there. Here is a badge of courage you can pin on your child that affirms his willingness to overcome his fears and accept life’s challenges.

THE CRAFT: A BADGE OF COURAGE

You will need: 2 pieces of construction paper (1 light and 1 dark), aluminum foil, ribbon, paste and a pair of scissors.1. Cut a 3-inch circle from dark paper and a 2-inch circle from aluminum foil and help your child paste the aluminum foil circle on the dark circle.
2. Cut a 1-inch circle from the light paper, write your child’s name on it and help him paste it in the middle of the aluminum foil circle.
3. Paste the ribbon at the back of the badge so it hangs down a few inches.
4. Pin the badge to your child’s shirt with a small safety pin.