Help! Where Am I? I’m Lost!

Posted on January 19, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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It was a cold gray late afternoon in New York City.

I was on my way home from a student teaching assignment in an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn. Leaving the school, I quickly walked to the subway station and boarded the train that would take me home. As the train pulled away from the very next stop, I realized that the name of that station was not one I recognized. Now I watched carefully as the train pulled into the next few stops. More unfamiliar names! A sick feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I had gotten on the wrong train!

I must admit that I panicked. I got off at the next stop. Instead of finding a uniformed security person and asking which train I should board to return to the right route, I ran up the subway stairs, hailed the first cab that passed by, gave him my address and sat back, heart pounding.

It was an expensive lesson…the cab ride cost me $10 and that was A LOT of money in those days…but I did get home safely, so I guess it was worth it.

Have you ever been lost? Maybe there was a detour and you found yourself driving around and around, wondering which road to take. Perhaps you went for a hike on a park trail and meandered off to look at some interesting rock formations or a bunch of wild flowers and now you are not sure which way to go to return to the main path.

Many young children also worry about getting lost or separated from those they love. Although we want to encourage curiosity and independence, we are responsible for keeping our children safe from harm. Teaching your child his name, address and phone number, and what to do in case he is ever lost is very important and will enable him to feel more confident about his own ability to deal with such a situation. Reassure your child that you will always find him, no matter what…this will contribute to his feeling of safety.

You can also help children talk about their concerns by reading picture book stories that address the issue of getting lost. While you read the story, a window of opportunity for discussion opens…so please take advantage of it. Here’s one story suggestion on that topic:

ANGUS LOST written and illustrated by Marjorie Flack

This is a classic in children’s picture books. The copyright date is 1931 and the illustrations hearken by to a bygone era. That might be part of the charm of the story and you and your child can have a wonderful conversation about how milk was delivered in the olden days. J

Angus, a little terrier, is bored with his home and yard and he decides to see what the world is like. After several scary adventures, Angus wants very much to go home, but he cannot find his way. He spends the night hiding in a cave, trembling in fear the entire time. In the morning, he hears the familiar sound of the milkman’s horse and wagon and he eagerly follows them from house to house as the milkman makes his deliveries. Finally, Angus recognizes his very own yard and is relieved to be home at last.

After you read the story and talk about it, perhaps you and your child would like to make some “real” butter.

CHILD-FRIENDLY HOMEMADE BUTTER

You will need: 1 cup heavy whipping cream, electric mixer and a large bowl.

1. Pour the cream into the bowl and beat on medium until stiff peaks are formed (about 2-3 minutes). This is REAL WHIPPED CREAM!!!

2. Continue beating (4-8 minutes) and you will see the curds separate from the whey. You can sing “Little Miss Muffet” with your child while you are doing this and do the finger play later.

3. Pour off the whey and you will be left with a lump of pure butter.

4. Enjoy with crackers, bread or toast.

5. Put the leftover butter in a covered container and store in the refrigerator.

6. Instead of using the electric mixer, you could put the cream in a glass jar with a lid and shake…but this will take 5-30 minutes…and everyone’s hands will be tired.

Stop by tomorrow for another story suggestion and activity from my book. And I’ll tell you about the time I spent SIX HOURS reading Little Women while my mother and half the staff of a major New York department store searched for me.

WE ALL NEED A CHEERING COMMITTEE AND PARENTS ARE A CHILD’S MOST IMPORTANT FANS!

Pencil Maker’s 4th Lesson: In Life You Will Undergo Painful Sharpenings Which Will Only Make You Better

Posted on January 11, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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Have you ever watched a blacksmith working on a piece of iron? He handles it with long tongs and repeatedly passes the metal through the flames to heat it while he works on it. This tempers the iron and makes it stronger.

Life is like that with us. Some of us have to go through many painful experiences…emotional and/or physical. But when we emerge, we are stronger. Most of the time, we don’t purposely “walk into the fire”. When you think about it though, every time we step out of our “comfort zone” and learn a new skill or master a new task or take a new job or begin a new relationship, we are allowing ourselves to be tested and improved. This is lesson #4 of the pencil maker: In Life You Will Undergo Painful Sharpenings Which Will Only Make You Better.

How can we relate this to parenting? Our children look to us for guidance and direction as each day they face new experiences, develop new relationships and have to master new skills and tasks. If you think about it, young children are undergoing painful sharpenings on a daily basis.

1. We need to be good role models…you need to walk the walk, as they say, not just talk the talk. Don’t expect your children to follow one mode of behavior while you follow another.

2. We need to be caring of others…not only those we know like our friends and family. Help your children learn to reach out to others by sponsoring a child in a third world country or choosing to help out at a soup kitchen for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Make a family project of going through your children’s toys, books and clothes (and your own) and donate to a local shelter. Decide to give up going to the movies and eating out and get a free movie from your local library and have sandwiches at home instead…use the money you save to shop with your children for canned goods and bring them to a local food bank.

3. When your child experiences a sharpening in his or her life, be there in a supportive and loving role…if a beloved hamster dies, don’t make light of it even if the hamster wasn’t important to you. Treat your child’s feelings of grief and sadness with respect.

4. When you experience a sharpening in your life, such as losing a job or dealing with a serious health problem, try to be honest with your children. Young children can be tender and compassionate if you give them the opportunity and their self-esteem soars when you give them respect and listen to their suggestions.

5. We all want to protect our children from sadness or unhappiness…but these emotions are a part of life…sheltering a child from ever experiencing these feeling will not enable him to learn to cope with the challenges life will inevitably bring his way.

The frightening tragedy this past week has left many, both adults and children, dealing with a plethora of negative feelings: pain, disbelief, anger, sadness. Reading a children’s picture book will not take these feelings away, but it can open a window for discussion and allow a child to be more comfortable talking about his feelings or concerns. A few good children’s picture books for acknowledging and coping with grief and sadness are:

AFTER CHARLOTTE’S MOM DIED written by Cornelia Spelman

NANA UPSTAIRS, NANA DOWNSTAIRS written and illustrated by Tomie dePaola

GOODBYE MOUSIE written by Robie Harris

Tune in tomorrow for the last lesson of the Pencil Maker: To Be The Best Pencil, You must Allow Yourself To Be Held And Guided By The Hand That Holds You.

The Pencil Maker’s 3rd Lesson: What Is Important Is Inside Of You

Posted on January 10, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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Look in the mirror. What do you see? A man or a woman, someone who is heavy or thin, tall or short, with hair that is curly or wavy or straight or a head with no hair at all. When someonelooks at you, can they know if you are courageous, or shy, or smart or compassionate?

The pencil maker’s third lesson to the pencil is: WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS INSIDE OF YOU.

How true this is! A person’s character is not displayed on his face. We cannot tell by looking at someone what kind of person they are. But how often do many people judge others by what they see on the surface.

There’s an old saying…you can’t tell a book by its cover. And the uniqueness of each individual is often hidden within.

1. In order to accept and love others as they are, we need to accept and love ourselves as we are. Never stop trying to be the best person you can be…but don’t berate yourself for your failings or weaknesses. If you need help overcoming or dealing with a problem, ask for it…join a support group, talk to a friend…don’t give up.

2. We can help our children become accepting and loving people by encouraging them to accept and love who they are and by loving them unconditionally. Celebrate your child’s unique qualities and strengths.

3. Sometimes it is difficult when a child displays different interests or talents from those of the rest of the family. But life shouldn’t be a paint-by-number existence. This is a parent’s opportunity to encourage these special gifts.

My passion for children’s picture books evolved into a program for preschoolers utilizing picture books and their messages to help children deal with many of the issues they encounter in their early years. The main characters in the following books express their individuality and, even though they are not always accepted or understood, they stay true to their inner self and persevere. Look for them in your local library or bookstore. Why not plan to read one with your child? Just by spending time participating positively with your children tells them they have value…one of the basic components of a positive self-image.

BRAVO MAURICE written and illustrated by Rebecca Bond

SHY CHARLES written and illustrated by Rosemary Wells

CROW BOY written and illustrated by Taro Yashima

OLIVER BUTTON IS A SISSY written and illustrated by Tomie de Paola

Tune in tomorrow for Lesson #4: In Life, You Will Undergo Painful Sharpening Which Will Only Make You Better.

By the way, there are so many valuable blogsites out there for parents…and giveaways galore…from time to time I’ll provide a link to a blog hop which can introduce you to many great bloggers at one time..check this one out: <script src=”http://www.linkytools.com/basic_linky_include.aspx?id=67827” type=”text/javascript” ></script>