Why are parents anxious about sending their children to school?

Posted on August 1, 2010 by viviankirkfield

For the past couple of days, I’ve been sharing my thoughts about the 1st day of school and how to help your child with any fears or anxieties he may have.

But, what about your fears and anxieties? Many of you have concerns about your child attending school and the concerns can mushroom as your child gets older. That’s probably why many parents are turning to homeschooling in recent years. According to an article in USA Today (1/2009) based on a government survey, homeschooling increased 74% from 1999 to 2007.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2009-01-04-homeschooling_N.htm

So, what are some of the top fears and concerns you may have about sending your child off to her first day of school?

Your child may be bullied or hurt by other children.
Your child may be made fun of because of his name, appearance, or style of speech or clothing.
The teacher may not be structured enough or may be too structured or may not understand your child or may not be attentive enough to your child.
There may be unsafe conditions at the school.
Your child may be in an accident traveling to or from school whether he walks, takes the bus or is driven by you or another adult.
Your child may hear things or be taught things that are not acceptable in your home.
Your child may be afraid or too shy to speak up for herself (to ask to use the bathroom or if she needs something).
Your child may not “fit” in.
Your child may reveal a family secret or personal information.
You may miss your child.

The key word in each concern is MAY….we are worrying about possibilities, not actualities. Tomorrow I plan to blog about some steps you can take (other than keeping your child at home) that address many of these concerns and may alleviate some of your anxieties.

Also, I’m sure there are other concerns that I haven’t mentioned. Why not post a comment and share yours?

Are YOU anxious about your child’s 1st day of school?

Posted on July 31, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Yesterday, I blogged about the fears and anxieties young children have about starting school and how you can help your child approach the first day of school with eager anticipation.

How about YOU? What feelings do you have about your child starting school? Happiness? Sadness? Fear? Relief? Anxiety? Or a combination of all of those.

In SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING, I point out that we help build our children’s self-esteem when we acknowledge and accept their feelings, both positive and negative. This principle holds true for you as well. It will help to acknowledge and accept the way you feel about this new stage in your child’s life. Once you do that, you can think about why you feel the way you do and work towards resolving any negative emotions you have.

What are the top 10 fears parents have about sending their children off to school? I’ll post a list tomorrow.

Is your child anxious about starting school?

Posted on July 29, 2010 by viviankirkfield

With just a few days left to July, all parents know that school is just around the corner.

Do you have a young child who is anxious about starting school? Is it his first experience away from home? These days, many children do have experience at nursery schools, daycare, and other facilities where they have taken part in sports, dance or other activities. Even those children, however, may be fearful of a new school, unknown teacher, and unfamiliar children.

How can you help relieve your child’s anxiety? What can you do to help make that first day of school one of joyous expectation?

Acknowledge your child’s feelings. We sometimes gloss over their fears and anxieties by telling them, “It will be fine. Don’t worry about it.” Worse still would be a response of “Don’t be a baby! There’s nothing to be afraid of.” For that child, there obviously is. Perhaps it would be more helpful to just listen if they are expressing their feelings. Maybe you can share similar feelings you might have had as a child.
Visit the school before the first day. Many schools offer opportunities for new students to spend some time in a classroom before the term starts. Take some photos of the school, classroom and your child in that setting and hang the pictures in your home. This will help your child feel more comfortable about going to this “new” place.
Read one or more of several children’s picture books that target the anxieties young children have regarding the first day of school. During my years as a kindergarten teacher, daycare provider and mother of three, I used picture book stories to help children cope with many of the issues they faced as they were growing up. Teaming up the story with an eco-friendly craft project and a child-friendly healthful cooking activity is a great way to encourage discussion, build self-esteem, and create a life-long parent-child bond.

Here are 3 books and accompanying activities that might help your child face the first day of school with eagerness and anticipation instead of reluctance and anxiety.

TAKE A KISS TO SCHOOL: written by Angela McAllister (For the craft activity, you can make a food chart using pictures cut from magazines and pasted on a piece of construction paper. What foods do animals eat? What foods do people eat? For the cooking experience, make pita pocket (instead of the coat pocket into which Digby put his mother’s kisses) sandwiches using store-bought whole wheat pita bread, chicken sliced from a baked chicken cutlet, lettuce, tomato, sprouts and mashed avocado.)

BILLY AND THE BIG NEW SCHOOL: written by Laurence Anholt (For the craft activity, you can make a bird feeder using 2 slices of stale bread broken in small pieces, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, 1/4 cup chopped carrot or apple and some nuts. Make a ball, press a piece of string into the center and roll in 1/2 cup wild birdseed. When hardened, hang on a tree and watch the birds feed. For the cooking experience, make breakfast granola using 2 cups old-fashioned oatmeal, 1/2 cup shredded coconut, 1/2 cup hulled sunflower seeds, 1 Tb honey, 1 Tb canola oil, 1/2 cup raisins, 1/2 tsp cinnamon. Put all ingredients, except raisins, into a large microwave-safe bowl and mix well. Microwave on high for 2 minutes. Stir well and microwave for another 2 minutes. Stir well again and microwave for 1 minute. Stir in the raisins and let cool. Store in an airtight container. Makes about 4-5 cups of preservative-free delicious granola.)

THE KISSING HAND: written by Audrey Penn (For the craft activity, you can make clay handprints. I still have the ones my children made almost 30 years ago. You can use store-bought clay or make your own. Work the clay into a ball and roll it flat…about 1/2 inch thick. Put the flattened clay on a piece of cardboard and position your child’s hand, fingers spread slightly, in the center. Help your child press her hand into the clay. Let dry overnight. For the cooking experience, make thumbprint cookies. Cream 1 cup canola oil and 1/2 cup honey in a large bowl. Beat in 1 egg and 1 tsp vanilla. Gradually add 3 cups flour and 1/2 tsp salt. Roll a tablespoonful of dough into a ball and then roll it in a saucer that has 1/2 cup sugar in it. Put each ball on an ungreased cookie sheet, spacing the balls about 2 inches apart. Press down lightly on each ball with your thumb (or your child’s thumb) and fill each depression with jelly or jam. Bake 10 to 12 minutes at 350 degrees until the cookies are lightly browned. Remove from cookie sheet when cooled. Makes about 4 dozen.)

I hope this helps parents with children who are anxious about the first day of school. I know it helped mine. For more information and support on this issue, go to http://childrensbooks.about.com/b/2010/07/28/august-blog-carnival.htm where Elizabeth Kennedy is hosting a blog carnival about this topic.