Help! Where Am I? I’m Lost!

Posted on January 19, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

It was a cold gray late afternoon in New York City.

I was on my way home from a student teaching assignment in an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn. Leaving the school, I quickly walked to the subway station and boarded the train that would take me home. As the train pulled away from the very next stop, I realized that the name of that station was not one I recognized. Now I watched carefully as the train pulled into the next few stops. More unfamiliar names! A sick feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I had gotten on the wrong train!

I must admit that I panicked. I got off at the next stop. Instead of finding a uniformed security person and asking which train I should board to return to the right route, I ran up the subway stairs, hailed the first cab that passed by, gave him my address and sat back, heart pounding.

It was an expensive lesson…the cab ride cost me $10 and that was A LOT of money in those days…but I did get home safely, so I guess it was worth it.

Have you ever been lost? Maybe there was a detour and you found yourself driving around and around, wondering which road to take. Perhaps you went for a hike on a park trail and meandered off to look at some interesting rock formations or a bunch of wild flowers and now you are not sure which way to go to return to the main path.

Many young children also worry about getting lost or separated from those they love. Although we want to encourage curiosity and independence, we are responsible for keeping our children safe from harm. Teaching your child his name, address and phone number, and what to do in case he is ever lost is very important and will enable him to feel more confident about his own ability to deal with such a situation. Reassure your child that you will always find him, no matter what…this will contribute to his feeling of safety.

You can also help children talk about their concerns by reading picture book stories that address the issue of getting lost. While you read the story, a window of opportunity for discussion opens…so please take advantage of it. Here’s one story suggestion on that topic:

ANGUS LOST written and illustrated by Marjorie Flack

This is a classic in children’s picture books. The copyright date is 1931 and the illustrations hearken by to a bygone era. That might be part of the charm of the story and you and your child can have a wonderful conversation about how milk was delivered in the olden days. J

Angus, a little terrier, is bored with his home and yard and he decides to see what the world is like. After several scary adventures, Angus wants very much to go home, but he cannot find his way. He spends the night hiding in a cave, trembling in fear the entire time. In the morning, he hears the familiar sound of the milkman’s horse and wagon and he eagerly follows them from house to house as the milkman makes his deliveries. Finally, Angus recognizes his very own yard and is relieved to be home at last.

After you read the story and talk about it, perhaps you and your child would like to make some “real” butter.

CHILD-FRIENDLY HOMEMADE BUTTER

You will need: 1 cup heavy whipping cream, electric mixer and a large bowl.

1. Pour the cream into the bowl and beat on medium until stiff peaks are formed (about 2-3 minutes). This is REAL WHIPPED CREAM!!!

2. Continue beating (4-8 minutes) and you will see the curds separate from the whey. You can sing “Little Miss Muffet” with your child while you are doing this and do the finger play later.

3. Pour off the whey and you will be left with a lump of pure butter.

4. Enjoy with crackers, bread or toast.

5. Put the leftover butter in a covered container and store in the refrigerator.

6. Instead of using the electric mixer, you could put the cream in a glass jar with a lid and shake…but this will take 5-30 minutes…and everyone’s hands will be tired.

Stop by tomorrow for another story suggestion and activity from my book. And I’ll tell you about the time I spent SIX HOURS reading Little Women while my mother and half the staff of a major New York department store searched for me.

WE ALL NEED A CHEERING COMMITTEE AND PARENTS ARE A CHILD’S MOST IMPORTANT FANS!

Melanie Hamilton: Princess of Patience and Loyal Friend Extraordinaire

Posted on January 14, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

Do you have a BFF? Is it someone who lived next door to you when you were little? Or is it a person who came into your life during a time of crisis?

I met my BFF when I was two years old…we lived in the same apartment house and our parents became good friends. So Jane and I became playmates. I can remember playing Superman…she was both Superman AND the bad guy and I was Lois Lane. We walked to school together, had picnics in the park together and spent many hours playing house, coloring with crayons and talking. When Jane moved to a different state, we corresponded by mail on a weekly basis and now, over 50 years later, we continue this amazing friendship by email. She is a true and loyal friend who would support and encourage me in any endeavor I choose to undertake…and I would do the same for her.

So what about Melanie Hamilton, the gentle soft-spoken wife of Ashley Wilkes and sister-in-law to Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind?

From the first moment we meet her, at the barbecue at Twelve Oaks plantation, we are aware of her gentle, trusting and patient demeanor. However, as the movie unfolds, we see that there is a lot more to Melanie Hamilton than meets the eye. She has an inner core of strength and commitment that carries her through many difficult situations.

If you’ve seen the movie, you will probably remember the iconic scene where Scarlett attends a birthday party for Ashley. Earlier in the day, some of the town’s ladies saw her embracing Ashley. This scandalous story quickly spreads throughout the community, and Scarlett’s husband, Rhett, insists that she go to the party by herself, clad in a revealing red dress (remember Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter). As she enters the house, a roomful of judging eyes turn towards her. Movie viewers hold their breath, waiting for the inevitable angry confrontation. Instead, Melanie steps forward, embraces her sister-in-law as if nothing had happened, and gently, but firmly insists that the assembled company welcome Scarlett. And they do! If only all of us had someone like that in our corner.

Our children need us to be their Melanie Hamilton.

1. Be supportive of your children in all situations.

2. Give your children unconditional love.

3. Lead by example and be consistent.

4. Don’t condone inappropriate behavior…but try to address it privately, instead of embarrassing them in front of friends or others.

5. Encourage them to have friends…and get to know the parents of their friends.

6. Be respectful of their opinions and attentive to what they have to say…they will learn to be respectful and attentive to others…and this is the basis of a good friendship.

Stop by tomorrow for a look at Rhett Butler: From Dashing Scoundrel to Loving Dad

Scarlett O’Hara: Goal-Setting Goddess

Posted on January 13, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever seen the movie, “Gone With The Wind”? My husband always laughs at me because I’ve probably seen it a dozen times or more. It’s an epic love story based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Margaret Mitchell that takes place during the American Civil War. It portrays the relationships between the main characters, Scarlett O’Hara, Rhett Butler, Melanie Hamilton and Ashley Wilkes, and it explores how each act and react during the turmoil of war.

If you’ve seen the movie, I’m sure you can picture that iconic scene when Scarlett, the spoiled daughter of a wealthy plantation owner, returns to her beloved Tara after fleeing from the burning, war-torn city of Atlanta. Starving, she searches the ravaged vegetable garden and finds only a few withered turnips (or maybe they were parsnips). She stuffs them into her mouth, but her empty stomach is no match for dirty withered roots and she falls to the ground, vomiting. Picking herself up, she raises her fist skyward and declares that no matter what she has to do from now on, “I will never go hungry again”. And she doesn’t!

Many of you may feel that Scarlett is not a very nice person and you would probably be right. Early in the movie, she marries Charles Hamilton for spite to get back at Ashley Wilkes, whom she believes she really loves but who has just announced he is marrying his cousin, Melanie Hamilton (Charles’ sister). Widowed almost immediately (Charles gets sick and dies before he goes to battle), Scarlett goes on to marry her sister’s long-time suitor, a moderately successful store owner, in order to get $300 from him to pay the taxes on her plantation which is in danger of foreclosure. And, after he dies, she marries Rhett Butler, the dashing Southern gentleman turned scoundrel turned privateer. She says she married a boy and an old man and now she wants someone handsome and rich so that she can have fun and never have to worry about money again and will have everything she ever wanted (except Ashley who remains happily married to Melanie). In the end, Rhett does leave her (just when she finally realizes that she doesn’t really want Ashley, but has loved Rhett all along) and Scarlett exhibits the second and third of her strongest and most positive qualities: she is forever hopeful and she never gives up. As the door closes on Rhett and he exits her life, she has a moment in despair – and then looks up with her face alight again and declares, “I’ll go home to Tara. Tomorrow is another day!”

Is there a parenting lesson here you might ask? Yes, I think so. As parents, we need to:

1. Help our children learn to set goals. And follow through with reaching them!

2. Allow our children to fail, while always encouraging them to succeed. This builds true self-esteem. Try, try again is an old adage…but perseverance, especially in the face of adversity and disappointment, is very important to success in life. Thomas Edison, the famous inventor, said that genius was 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

3. Provide our children with a sense of security…we will be there for them no matter what. Scarlett’s security was her home…she knew she could always recover if she went back there. Children will come to you with their concerns if they know they won’t be judged or criticized.

4. Instill in our children a feeling of hopefulness…problems CAN be solved…there are often other options just waiting to be revealed. Sometimes just talking about a situation can uncover solutions.

So if you haven’t seen the movie, you might want to watch it and observe how goal-oriented Scarlett O’Hara is…and check out her unbelievable level of hope and perseverance in the face of all kinds of disasters. And if you’ve seen it before, perhaps I’ve reawakened a wish to see it again. It’s definitely a classic! The Academy Awards will be broadcast on February 27^th. I know that many people enjoy seeing movies that have won the Oscar in previous years. In 1939, Gone With The Wind won 10 Oscars, a record that stood for over 20 years.

Stop by tomorrow for a post about Melanie Hamilton…princess of patience and loyal friend extraordinaire.