Category Archives: self-esteem

5 skills every preschooler should learn

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I noticed an article on MSN’s home page about skills teenagers should master as they approach the age when they will leave home to go away to school or out on their own to work.  I think it is a big mistake to wait till our children are teenagers to teach them these important life skills.  Except for car maintenance, every single skill can and should be introduced and taught to our preschoolers.  I think back to my own childhood and am saddened to realize that my mother did not  expect me or my sister to help clean the house (although she did suggest it once or twice) and we were not taught to balance a checkbook or keep to a budget.  She cooked all of the meals and did not teach us to cook, plan menus or shop for ingredients. 

What are those life skills that every child should begin to master at an early age?

  • CLEANING THE HOUSE: show your child what to do and let him help…of course, if you are using toxic cleansers, perhaps you can switch to more eco-friendly (and child-friendly) green cleaning solutions.  Check out one of my earlier posts for some simple suggestions.
  • DOING THE LAUNDRY: even a toddler can help sort items for the laundry…darks and lights for example…putting dirty clothes in the hamper…folding towels…matching socks…what great opportunities for science and math experiences!
  • COOKING: little ones LOVE to help in the kitchen…measuring, mixing, learning about what ingredients go into making various meals and accompanying you to the store to discover that green bananas should be yellow with spots if we want them to taste sweet and what a ripe melon smells like.
  • MANAGING MONEY: every young child should have a piggy bank where allowances (if your family does that) and money earned or received as gifts are kept…it’s easy for kids to “want” everything…but life is about making choices and that is a part of money management that little ones can be taught…if Johnny wants something that costs $1.00 and he only has 50 cents in his piggy bank, he will have to “earn” the rest or wait until he has enough by saving allowance or gift money.  Older children should learn to balance a checkbook!
  • MAKING APPOINTMENTS AND MANAGING A DAILY SCHEDULE: you can make a chart that shows the daily schedule…breakfast time, lunch time, doctor’s appt, playdate, bedtime…use pictures cut from magazines to help your child identify what is happening during the day…young children feel less stressed when they know what to expect and what is expected from them…for children who have trouble settling down and getting ready for bed, this might be a life-saver!

So, don’t wait to start teaching your child these important life skills…begin when he is a preschooler and life may be much smoother in your home as your child grows up.  He or she will definitely thank you…self-sufficiency and mastering tasks and skills are cornerstones in the foundation of high self-esteem.

Your preschooler needs a bucket list

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Several years ago, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson starred in a movie called “The Bucket List” which told the tale of two older gentlemen who decided that before they died, there were a number of things they wanted to do.   Many people, as they get older, begin to think about the things they never got around to doing, but wish they had.  In fact, that’s one of the reasons I was thrilled when I visited my son in Chicago and he told me he had arranged for us to go skydiving.  I had an awesome experience and I was able to cross one more item off my bucket list. http://bit.ly/b8By2X If you click on this link, you’ll be able to share that exciting ride with me!

There are many things that young children need to experience as well.  I think there are some basic things that every preschooler should have the opportunity to do, although your family may want to add to the list or subtract from it, based on your individual situation.

So, here is my bucket list for a preschooler:

  • Hear the words, I LOVE YOU, every day!
  • Be shown by parents and other adults that he/she is loved and valued!
  • Be encouraged to master tasks and skills.
  • Be allowed to express his/her feelings, whether positive or negative.
  • Go to a zoo.
  • Jump in puddles after a rainstorm.
  • Play in the mud and get dirty.
  • Use art supplies (paints, crayons, clay, etc.) to express creativity.
  • Get a library card (as soon as your local library allows…go to the library on a regular basis.
  • Feel safe at home and in school, daycare or anywhere.
  • Be read a story (or two or more) on a daily basis.

As Alecia Devantier says in 101 THINGS EVERY KID SHOULD DO GROWING UP, “Childhood is a magical time of newfound joys and enriching experience.  The gifts our children are given today will last a lifetime.”

What’s on your child’s bucket list?

Skydiving at 63

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Yesterday I posted a blog about the connection between skydiving and parenting, but I didn’t really talk about why I decided to jump out of a plane at age 63 and how it felt.

Life constantly offers us opportunities to grow.  But I think most of the time we ignore them.  I know that as a child, I was extremely timid (and intimidated) and I rarely wanted to do anything new or go anywhere different.  Perhaps that’s why I am so passionate about helping children build a self-esteem and why I try to encourage parents to help their children develop confidence and a sense of competence. I guess there is at least one great advantage to getting older…at least for me.  I tend to be willing to try new things and travel to new places.  In fact, I look forward to these new experiences.  So when my son told me that he had a surprise for me during my visit to him in Chicago, I was excited.  And, when he informed me that the surprise was a skydiving adventure, I was thrilled.  Maybe it sounds odd, but I wasn’t anxious or nervous about it.   I guess by the time you reach my age, you realize that any one of a number of things can happen to end your life in the blink of an eye…crazy driver on the road, freak slip in the shower or an angry disenchanted person who decides to shot a bunch of people at the mall where you are shopping.

The atmosphere at the Chicagoland Skydiving Center seemed quite festive…families sitting at picnic tables waiting for someone who was already up in the air; children running to and fro, heads craned way back to watch the planes taking off and the people parachuting down; upbeat music from a loudspeaker blending with the cacophony of children playing; a line of people waiting to order corn dogs and ice-cold soda at the vendor’s trailer.

So now I’ll tell you about my skydiving experience.  After registering in the main building, we waited until our names were called to attend the brief training session where they explained what would take place and what we should do while in the plane and out of it.  The instructor described the position we should assume while jumping out and while in free-fall.  As this was going to be a tandem jump for both myself and my son, it was important to know that we needed to keep our hands crossed on our chests, so as not to impede our “pro” to whom we would be harnessed.  And to keep our head to the side in the crook of his neck, so as not to head-butt him and knock him out, rendering him unable to control the fall.  There was a large group in the training session, so we were pleasantly surprised when we heard our names being called soon after the session was ended.  We quickly made our way to the main building and were met by our “pros” who introduced themselves and proceeded to put us in the harness and explain how to crouch at the hatch (like a baseball catcher).  The plane was just about ready to take off with our group of about 7 jumpers and their instructors and a couple of photographers, so we made our way over to the airfield, boarded the plane and arranged ourselves on the benches that lined the inside  of the plane.  For me, the smell of the engine fumes was the worst part of the experience.  When they opened the hatch, the smell disappeared and the view of the countryside was beautiful, but we soon became too busy with preparations for the jump to notice anything.  My son and his instructor were the first ones out.  As soon as he had jumped, my instructor and I duck-walked (I had been sitting on his lap during the flight to 9000 ft so that he could attach my harness to him and his to me) to the open hatchway.  We rocked back and forth two times and on the third…out we went.   Running through my mind were the instructions we had received during the training session: head to the side in the crook of the instructor’s neck, back arched, legs between the legs of the instructor, feet tipped up toward his butt, hands crossed on my chest.  The power of the wind and air pressure as we plummeted down was awesome.  In a few seconds, I realized the photographer was falling in front of us, motioning to me to wave, give a thumbs up and smile!  Which I did…you can see it all if you check out the video they made:  lifepursuitvideo.com/asppublic/Vide… via @AddThis

After about 30 seconds of free-fall, the instructor put his arm out and his wrist in front of my face to show me that it was time to pull the ripcord…I, however, was too busy interacting with the photographer, so the instructor had to do it.  WHOOSH!!! Up we went as the parachute opened and pulled us about 1000 feet back up…at least it felt like that.  From then on, the experience consisted of a gentle descent, pleasant conversation and lovely views of the countryside which grew slowly closer with every minute.  When we neared the ground, my instructor told me to bend my knees and stick my feet out as far and as high as I could.  Our landing was unbelievably gentle…he touched down on his feet and told me to put my feet down…which I did, and, to my surprise, I was standing and walking.  He unharnessed me and said, “Go see your son, he’s over there.”  Looking around him, I saw Peter several yards away, with the biggest smile, giving me the thumbs up!   Perhaps the best part of the experience was that I shared it with one of my grown children…continuing and strengthening the bond we’ve developed over the years.   It was definitely a great day…one I will remember for the rest of my life!