Andy Rooney: Life is like a gadget drawer

Posted on July 19, 2010 by viviankirkfield

This morning I wrote a post about yesterday’s 60 Minutes segment with Andy Rooney. As the day went on, I began to think about how a kitchen gadget drawer is a lot like life and parenting. We accumulate “stuff” during our life…material things like cars, homes, appliances, clothing, lamps, and books…sometimes doubles and triples of items we don’t even use. We store up memories, both good and bad (the bad ones sometimes haunting us as we try to move forward with our lives). We hold on to feelings, even the negative ones (sometimes especially the negative ones). And, when it comes to parenting, we often repeat behaviors of our own parents we swore we would never do. Have you ever said something to your child and looked around to see if your mother was standing there, because what came out of your mouth was something you had often heard her say.

I think this happens to most of us. Maybe I can take Andy Rooney’s advice and dump out everything in the drawer (of my behavior, reactions to others, feelings, memories), look it over, and make sure I want to keep it before I put it back.

But I doubt it will be as easy as cleaning the kitchen gadget drawer.

Have you kept your New Year’s resolutions?

Posted on July 18, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Maybe “kept” is the wrong word. Perhaps a better phrase would be “followed through on”. “Kept” might mean you put it in a drawer and forgot about it. Out of sight…out of mind. Do people even make New Year’s resolutions anymore?

I am definitely a “list” person…so making New Year’s resolutions was always something I looked forward to doing. Every year, on January 1st, I’d sit down with a fresh sheet of paper, a sharpened pencil and a heart filled with high hopes and expectations. I’d think about what I wanted to accomplish in my life for the up-coming year…healthwise, emotionally and academically. Drink 8 glasses of water every day. Get to bed early. Walk or exercise daily for at least 30 minutes. Be compassionate. Speak kindly to others. Read something uplifting every day.

When my children were growing up, we sat down once or twice together and made our New Year’s resolutions. I think this was a wonderful family activity that might create a better parent-child bond…sharing the lists might help parents learn more about who their children are…and might help children learn more about who their parents are.

As I’ve matured, most of the items on the list have remained the same. But, I’ve added others. Stretch my mind. Do things that are outside my comfort zone. Stand up for what I believe. Speak out when I should. And, just as importantly, keep quiet when I should. (Good advice to parents of grown children)

Do I follow through on all of my resolutions every day of the year? No, I don’t. Do I beat myself up for “dropping the ball” sometimes? A little, but I try not to. Will I make a list of New Year’s resolutions next year? You bet I will. For me, it sets the tone for the direction I want to move in. It encourages me to tackle projects I might otherwise choose to postpone or ignore. It helps me to be a better me.

Mastering tasks and skills

Posted on July 17, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Building self-esteem is an ongoing life-long task. But the foundations of it are laid in the first five years of a person’s life. As parents, we need to start in the very beginning and try to ABP…always be positive…not easy to do, I know.

One of the most important components of developing high self-esteem is mastering tasks and skills. When children are able to DO something themselves (lace up shoes, brush his own teeth, write her name, get dressed by himself, help set the table, etc.), they gain a sense of confidence and competence that encourages them to tackle new challenges.

Here is an excerpt from my new book, SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING.

A great picture book to read to your young child:

LEO THE LATE BLOOMER: written by Robert Kraus and illustrated y Jose Aruego

Story summary: A little lion named Leo is unable to do the things his animal friends can do, such as write his name, draw a picture, eat neatly and talk. His father is very worried and questions Leo’s mother. She reassures him that Leo will learn to do everything in his own time. In the end, she is proved right and Leo masters all these skills with great finesse.

Positive Parental Participation Note: Parents are often tempted to compare one child in the family to another, or they read a book on child development and carefully note at what age their child should be walking or talking or mastering one skill or another. Of course, it is important to be aware of the various stages of a child’s physical, intellectual and emotional development because the earlier a problem is detected, the faster help can be obtained. However, it is also important to realize that each child matures at his or her own pace.

COOKING: CHILD-FRIENDLY LION’S CANDY

These healthful candies are out-of-this-world…and so easy to make. Your child’s self-esteem will bloom right before your eyes as he helps to prepare this delicious treat.

You will need: 1/2 cup peanut (or other nut) butter, 1/2 cup ground sunflower seeds, 1/4 cup instant dry milk, 1 Tb honey, 1/2 cup finely chopped raisins, dates or other dried fruit, 1/2 cup cocoa (optional) and a large bowl.

Blend together nut butter and ground sunflower seeds.
Stir in dry milk, honey and dried fruit. Mix well (with hands, if necessary).
If the mixture is too dry, add some liquid milk; if too wet, add more dry milk.
Form into teaspoon-sized balls. Roll in cocoa powder, if desired.
Makes about two-dozen balls. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.