The Grandma Chronicles: The Aborted Sleepover

Posted on January 31, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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My grandmother was a very special lady.

She loved people and had an special place in her heart for children.

Every summer, each of her grandchildren was given the opportunity to spend two weeks with her in that warm and welcoming house on a tree-lined street in Brooklyn, New York.

When I was 4 years old, I pleaded to be allowed to go for my first sleepover. Even though my parents didn’t think I was old enough, they relented and so I helped my mother pack my little suitcase, dreaming of all the fun things I would do with my grandmother during those two weeks. Visits to the beach at Coney Island, hot dogs at Nathans, hours spent helping my grandmother bake and cook in her warm kitchen, planting seeds in her wildly beautiful and fragrant backyard garden.

Since all of my grandmother’s children and grandchildren visited her on Sundays, my family and I took the train from Manhattan to Brooklyn. I sat in my seat, my little suitcase at my feet, and could hardly wait for the train to arrive at her station.

After a fun-filled day of playing with my cousins, the house slowly emptied as my aunts and uncles and cousins left for their own homes and I bid farewell to my parents and older sister. I enjoyed the next few hours, helping my grandmother wash and dry the dishes. I played with her special box of costume jewelry that she kept just for little girls who love to wear sparkly things. I helped her prepare our dinner.

But, as evening approached, I began to feel very anxious and unhappy.

I wanted to go home to sleep in my own bed…in the room I shared with my sister.

Although my grandmother did try to encourage me to stay, she understood how I felt and did not try to pressure me or make light of my concerns. She called my parents and my father came to get me…no easy task since he had to take the subway from Manhattan to Brooklyn and then do the trip in reverse to bring me home. He had already made the trip back and forth earlier in the day. And the next day was Monday and he would have to do it again to go to work.

But there were no recriminations or “I told you so” comments from either of my parents.

Do you have a child who suffers from separation anxiety? Early on, young children form a very strong bond with their parents. While we don’t want to ever break that bond, each child has their own unique ability to stretch it…some are able to do it sooner and some later.

How can you help your children get to the point where they can watch you walk away and keep a smile on their faces and in their hearts?

Here are a few good tips that might help:

1. Reassure your child you will always return.

2. Keep your attitude positive and matter-of-fact.

3. Treat your child’s concerns with respect.

4. Offer stories of your own childhood experiences and feelings.

5. Read picture book stories where the main character faces a similar problem, but succeeds in overcoming it.

If you check out some of my past posts that address this issue, you will find some of those book suggestions and other tips that may help.

https://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/mommy-where-are-you/

https://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/help-where-am-i-im-lost/

https://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/is-your-child-anxious-about-starting-school/

You can also find more picture book recommendations, gentle parenting tips and fun-filled educational activities in my new parenting book

I hope you’ve all enjoyed The Grandma Chronicles. It was a wonderful experience for me, revisiting with my memories of a person who had a great impact on my early years…and in helping me to become the person I am today.

Tomorrow I will start a new series based on The Lessons of Nanny McFee. Have you seen the movie? I just did and I was struck by her five lessons…I think each one has a place in every parent’s rulebook.

The Grandma Chronicles: Curtains for Dinner

Posted on January 27, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

I only knew her as GRANDMA.

But she had a life before I ever met her…as an obedient daughter, loving sister, impressionable girl, new bride and mother of five.

She was a woman of character and strength. She was ahead of her time in many ways and I thought she was an angel with super-powers. But “Curtains for Dinner” shows that she was a normal human being, just like any of us…and sometimes she made questionable choices.

As a young woman, my grandmother lived in an era where most wives stayed home and the husband went to work and controlled the family finances. Every week, she would be given a certain amount of money for the household expenses…whatever her husband determined would be enough…if she was a frugal homemaker. And, just like today, it was hard to make the money stretch to buy the staples she needed. One day, on her way to the butcher shop to buy meat for dinner, my grandmother passed a fabric store. Hanging in the store window was the most beautiful piece of lace material and my grandmother knew she had to have it for her kitchen window…to help make her house a more beautiful home. Opening the door, she entered a world of colors and textures…but her eyes were only on the lace in the window. A small scrap of paper pinned to the fabric displayed the cost…25 cents. Reaching her hand into the neckline of her dress, she unpinned the folded handkerchief that held her precious household money. Carefully she opened the scrap of fabric and looked at its contents…only 50 cents, the amount needed to purchase enough meat for dinner that night. What should she do? How could she pass up that beautiful piece of lace? But what would she do about dinner?

Making her decision, she took one of the quarters, approached the store clerk and indicated her choice. Emerging from the fabric store, the parcel of lace clutched tightly in her hands, my grandmother continued down the street to the butcher’s shop. Now she only had enough money for half as much meat. Purchasing the meat, she watched as the butcher wrapped it…what a tiny package it made!

Sitting down to dinner in the kitchen with the new lace curtains fluttering in the breeze, her husband noticed that there was only one place set. “Aren’t you eating, my dear.” he asked. “Oh no,” my grandmother replied. “I was so hungry, I ate my portion earlier.”

My grandmother might have gone to bed with her stomach a little empty…but her desire to beautify her home was well-satisfied.

Did she make the right choice? What would you have done?

Stop by tomorrow for the last installment of The Grandma Chronicles: Where Are the Side-Mirrors on the New Car? I’ll also share a recipe, from my new parenting book. for apple cake just like the one I used to make with her those long-ago Sunday mornings.

Cooking With Preschoolers

Posted on October 26, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Cooking is one of the best activities for preschoolers. It builds their self-esteem as they master tasks and skills, mixing and measuring the ingredients. It teaches them about the foods they eat so they can make better food choices as they grow up. It encourages them to try new foods as they prepare various recipes, expanding their food horizons. Most importantly, they love to do it and cooking with your preschooler helps create a life-long parent-child bond.

Cooking with preschoolers is a passion of mine which is why my new parenting book provides 100 child-friendly healthful recipes and 100 age-appropriate, eco-friendly craft projects, in addition to pinpointing 100 picture books every young child should hear. The cooking experience is crucial because with each recipe your preschooler helps prepare, he gains confidence and competence and his sense of self-worth grows.

What ingredients should we use? The best that we can, of course! If you are able to purchase organic, locally grown, in-season produce…I’d encourage you to do that…I believe such ingredients will add immense benefits to your entire family while creating a less damaging impact on our planet. Organic or not, just make sure everything is fresh (check dates on dairy and other items…sometimes stores miss removing out-of-date stuff) and whether it is a snack or a meal, we want to provide low-fat, low sugar and high fiber combinations that are packed with nutrition. It’s important that they taste good also. However, taste is learned and we need to be careful of what we say and of our facial expressions when we are eating…many children develop food dislikes when they see a parent shunning a particular food.

Cooking with preschoolers is a great time to teach proper hand washing procedures. Make sure hands are washed before and during the food preparation process, especially if hands have touched raw meat or poultry. And definitely exercise caution during the cooking experience…preschoolers should be pouring and mixing the ingredients in the bowls, not stirring the pot on the stove. Any cutting with sharp knives needs to be done by the parent or other responsible adult.

I just came back from a wonderful week in New Hampshire…the New England fall foliage was at its peak…but the best part of the trip was the four days I spent with my two-year old grandson, Jeremy. We walked down to the pond every day to see the ducks, skip pebbles over the surface of the water, and collect leaves of scarlet, gold, green and brown to use in craft projects. He loved cooking in the kitchen…I’ve included one of the recipes below, along with the craft activity we did and the title of the story we read. If you’d like more story/craft/cooking ideas, you can go to the activities page of my website: http://www.positiveparentalparticipation.com/News.php

CHILD-FRIENDLY HOMEMADE CHUNKY APPLESAUCE

You will need: 3 lbs tart cooking apples (peeled, cored and quartered), 1 Tb honey, 3/4 cup water, 1 pinch cinnamon or nutmeg, and a large saucepan with a lid.

Combine the apples, water and honey in the pan, cover and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat and simmer till very soft and mushy, about 30 minutes.
Sprinkle with a little cinnamon or nutmeg and serve hot or cold.
Store in covered container in the refrigerator. Use within a few days. Makes about 4-6 servings.

The story suggestion for the above recipe is THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD. This classic tale of a little engine with a positive attitude helps preschoolers believe in themselves and encourages them to keep trying, even if they don’t succeed at first. Jeremy loved the story…he is excited about all trains right now…when I finished, he said, “More book, Nanu!”

A container train with moving wheels is a craft project will enable your child to have a whole fleet of trains…if you both have the time and patience. For each train car you will need: 1 clean quart-sized cardboard milk or juice container, construction paper, paste, scissors, markers and metal paper fasteners. When we finished the train, two-year old Jeremy exclaimed, “My train, my train!”

Depending on which train car your preschooler wants to make, cut the container appropriately (for example, for a coal car – lay the container on its side and cut off the top).
Cut a piece of construction paper to fit over the outside of the container and paste it in place.
Cut out 4 wheels from another piece of construction paper and attach to the container with paper fasteners. The wheels will be able to turn!
Ask your child what the name of his train is (for example: Jeremy’s Express), and write the name on the side of the train. Use the markers to add details to the train.

For more cooking with kids in the kitchen ideas, check out http://kidsparties.about.com where Megan Cooley, kids’ parties and celebrations guide for about.com is hosting a blog carnival for the month of November.