The Fourth Lesson of Nanny McPhee: BE BRAVE!

Posted on February 5, 2011 by viviankirkfield

A grandfather teaches his granddaughter to use...

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The dictionary defines bravery as:

“Courage in the face of danger, difficulty or pain…a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger, difficulty or pain without showing fear.”

We often think that brave people are without fear…but this is not what bravery is all about. In fact, in interviews with soldiers who have won medals for bravery, they often admit to having been afraid during their action of courage.

And perhaps that is the true meaning of bravery…when we proceed and follow through danger, pain or difficulties, even though WE ARE AFRAID. There are brave people all around us, dealing with all sorts of problems, but continuing on.

Nanny McPhee’s fourth lesson to the children is to BE BRAVE.

Why, you may ask, do young children need to be brave. Aren’t we there to protect them and watch out for them…and most of the time all they do is play, right? 🙂

Honestly, I think sometimes young children are the bravest of us all…so many new situations and experiences, so much to learn in order to navigate their way through those early years.

In addition, many young children have fears about a number of things which they need to acknowledge and overcome. Some of the most common are:

Fear of the dark
Fear of new experiences and new situations
Fear of illness and death
Fear of monsters (the monster may not be real, but your child’s fear is)

Children need to be brave about other things as well. Picture this: You are five years old and your entire family is crazy about sports….Mom and Dad play on an adult volleyball team and all your older and younger brothers and sisters love football, baseball and hockey. You, however, love music and want to learn to play the violin or the piano.

It takes a lot of courage for a young child to follow his own muse if it differs from that of his family or peers!

There are many children’s picture books that address this issue. One of my favorite stories is OLIVER BUTTON IS A SISSY by Tomie de Paola. In the story, Oliver Button wants to be a dancer and even though Oliver’s father would rather have him playing football with the other boys, he lets Oliver attend dance classes. Oliver stays true to his goal, even though his classmates tease him. When there is a talent show, everyone is impressed with Oliver’s great dancing, and his father and classmates are very proud of him.

In my my new parenting book, you will find a simple eco-friendly craft project and an easy child-friendly healthful cooking activity to help you extend the learning experience after you read OLIVER BUTTON with your child.

On that note, I want to let everyone know about an EXCITING PRE-VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL on my website.

It’s called SHARE THE LOVE

and it will go from 12:01am SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5^th TO MONDAY, FEBRUARY 7th AT 11:59pm.

If you buy one copy of SHOW ME HOW! at the regular cover price of $44.95, you will get a second copy for FREE!

If you have been thinking about getting a copy for yourself, but were hesitating at the $35.00 website sale price, NOW IS THE TIME TO GRAB YOUR COPY AND HAVE A COPY TO GIVE TO:

YOUR BFF OR ANYONE ELSE YOU LOVE WHO DESERVES IT AND NEEDS IT.
YOUR CHILD’S DAYCARE PROVIDER OR PRESCHOOL TEACHER.
A FRIEND OR RELATIVE WHO IS HAVING A BABY SOON.
A GRANDPARENT WHO TAKES CARE OF YOUR PRESCHOOLER AND WOULD APPRECIATE THIS SHORTCUT TO STORY RECOMMENDATIONS AND EDUCATIONAL FUN-FILLED ACTIVITIES THAT BUILD SELF-ESTEEM.

At the BOGO price, you are paying $22.50 for a BRAND-NEW FRESH-OUT-OF-THE-BOX SIGNED-BY-THE-AUTHOR COPY (some sellers on Amazon and Alibris are charging over $40 for a USED copy).

I’m posting the sale now so you will be able to order it in time for Valentine’s Day. The SHARE THE LOVE BOGO EVENT will only be available, ON MY WEBSITE, by clicking on the PayPal button. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by!

I hope you’ve enjoyed the Nanny McPhee lessons…stop by tomorrow for the last lesson: HAVE FAITH!

The Grandma Chronicles: The Aborted Sleepover

Posted on January 31, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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My grandmother was a very special lady.

She loved people and had an special place in her heart for children.

Every summer, each of her grandchildren was given the opportunity to spend two weeks with her in that warm and welcoming house on a tree-lined street in Brooklyn, New York.

When I was 4 years old, I pleaded to be allowed to go for my first sleepover. Even though my parents didn’t think I was old enough, they relented and so I helped my mother pack my little suitcase, dreaming of all the fun things I would do with my grandmother during those two weeks. Visits to the beach at Coney Island, hot dogs at Nathans, hours spent helping my grandmother bake and cook in her warm kitchen, planting seeds in her wildly beautiful and fragrant backyard garden.

Since all of my grandmother’s children and grandchildren visited her on Sundays, my family and I took the train from Manhattan to Brooklyn. I sat in my seat, my little suitcase at my feet, and could hardly wait for the train to arrive at her station.

After a fun-filled day of playing with my cousins, the house slowly emptied as my aunts and uncles and cousins left for their own homes and I bid farewell to my parents and older sister. I enjoyed the next few hours, helping my grandmother wash and dry the dishes. I played with her special box of costume jewelry that she kept just for little girls who love to wear sparkly things. I helped her prepare our dinner.

But, as evening approached, I began to feel very anxious and unhappy.

I wanted to go home to sleep in my own bed…in the room I shared with my sister.

Although my grandmother did try to encourage me to stay, she understood how I felt and did not try to pressure me or make light of my concerns. She called my parents and my father came to get me…no easy task since he had to take the subway from Manhattan to Brooklyn and then do the trip in reverse to bring me home. He had already made the trip back and forth earlier in the day. And the next day was Monday and he would have to do it again to go to work.

But there were no recriminations or “I told you so” comments from either of my parents.

Do you have a child who suffers from separation anxiety? Early on, young children form a very strong bond with their parents. While we don’t want to ever break that bond, each child has their own unique ability to stretch it…some are able to do it sooner and some later.

How can you help your children get to the point where they can watch you walk away and keep a smile on their faces and in their hearts?

Here are a few good tips that might help:

1. Reassure your child you will always return.

2. Keep your attitude positive and matter-of-fact.

3. Treat your child’s concerns with respect.

4. Offer stories of your own childhood experiences and feelings.

5. Read picture book stories where the main character faces a similar problem, but succeeds in overcoming it.

If you check out some of my past posts that address this issue, you will find some of those book suggestions and other tips that may help.

https://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/mommy-where-are-you/

https://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/help-where-am-i-im-lost/

https://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/is-your-child-anxious-about-starting-school/

You can also find more picture book recommendations, gentle parenting tips and fun-filled educational activities in my new parenting book

I hope you’ve all enjoyed The Grandma Chronicles. It was a wonderful experience for me, revisiting with my memories of a person who had a great impact on my early years…and in helping me to become the person I am today.

Tomorrow I will start a new series based on The Lessons of Nanny McFee. Have you seen the movie? I just did and I was struck by her five lessons…I think each one has a place in every parent’s rulebook.

The Grandma Chronicles: Curtains for Dinner

Posted on January 27, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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I only knew her as GRANDMA.

But she had a life before I ever met her…as an obedient daughter, loving sister, impressionable girl, new bride and mother of five.

She was a woman of character and strength. She was ahead of her time in many ways and I thought she was an angel with super-powers. But “Curtains for Dinner” shows that she was a normal human being, just like any of us…and sometimes she made questionable choices.

As a young woman, my grandmother lived in an era where most wives stayed home and the husband went to work and controlled the family finances. Every week, she would be given a certain amount of money for the household expenses…whatever her husband determined would be enough…if she was a frugal homemaker. And, just like today, it was hard to make the money stretch to buy the staples she needed. One day, on her way to the butcher shop to buy meat for dinner, my grandmother passed a fabric store. Hanging in the store window was the most beautiful piece of lace material and my grandmother knew she had to have it for her kitchen window…to help make her house a more beautiful home. Opening the door, she entered a world of colors and textures…but her eyes were only on the lace in the window. A small scrap of paper pinned to the fabric displayed the cost…25 cents. Reaching her hand into the neckline of her dress, she unpinned the folded handkerchief that held her precious household money. Carefully she opened the scrap of fabric and looked at its contents…only 50 cents, the amount needed to purchase enough meat for dinner that night. What should she do? How could she pass up that beautiful piece of lace? But what would she do about dinner?

Making her decision, she took one of the quarters, approached the store clerk and indicated her choice. Emerging from the fabric store, the parcel of lace clutched tightly in her hands, my grandmother continued down the street to the butcher’s shop. Now she only had enough money for half as much meat. Purchasing the meat, she watched as the butcher wrapped it…what a tiny package it made!

Sitting down to dinner in the kitchen with the new lace curtains fluttering in the breeze, her husband noticed that there was only one place set. “Aren’t you eating, my dear.” he asked. “Oh no,” my grandmother replied. “I was so hungry, I ate my portion earlier.”

My grandmother might have gone to bed with her stomach a little empty…but her desire to beautify her home was well-satisfied.

Did she make the right choice? What would you have done?

Stop by tomorrow for the last installment of The Grandma Chronicles: Where Are the Side-Mirrors on the New Car? I’ll also share a recipe, from my new parenting book. for apple cake just like the one I used to make with her those long-ago Sunday mornings.