A Leap of Faith: Skydiving vs. Parenting

Posted on September 2, 2010 by viviankirkfield

I just got back from a wonderful visit to Chicago to see my son and daughter-in-law. Everything was perfect: the flights were all on-time and smooth; the weather in Chicago was sunny and not too windy; their new home is beautiful and they treated me like a treasured guest; the time spent with family was satisfying and enjoyable. I spent an entire day with my sister, reminiscing about our childhood. We had breakfast at Stella’s on Broadway. I walked to the lake and shared many meals with family members I had not seen in several years.

Two things stand out that I will remember for the rest of my life – and both are connected because they both require a leap of faith. On Sunday, my son took me to the Chicagoland Skydiving Center, where we registered, took a short prep course on skydiving, met our instructors, got harnessed up, boarded a little plane with no seats – just benches, and went for the ride of our lives. The best part for me was not the 30 second free-fall, but the 7 minute gentle glide down after the parachute/canopy opened. It was a thrilling experience and one I will never forget. On the way back from skydiving, we stopped at my nephew’s home to visit with him, his wife and his two children. As I watched the interplay between my nephew, his wife and his young children, I observed what wonderful parents he and his wife have become. It occurred to me that parenting, like skydiving, is definitely a leap of faith. Whether you are a novice parent with a newborn or an experienced parent with several children, there are no guarantees that what you do will turn out right. You can read books written by the “pros” or consult with “experts”…but in the end, all you can do is your best.

Sometimes, though, it helps to have a little guidance. Just like the short prep course at the skydiving center and the last-minute instructions and “nudging” from Dave, my skydiving professional, we can gain useful parenting advice from books, workshops, and other sources. My new book, SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING, which will be available by the end of the month, provides tips, tactics and tools to give parents a sense of competence and confidence in their own abilities. It pinpoints 100 picture books every young child should hear and develops pre-literacy skills while providing an eco-friendly craft project and a child-friendly healthful recipe for each recommended title. I’m hoping it will be a parachute for the leap of faith that today’s parents take.

If you’d like to see the skydive I took and share in the excitement, go to: lifepursuitvideo.com/asppublic/Vide… via @AddThis

If you’d like more info about the new book, go to: www.positiveparentalparticipation.com

Tips, tactics and tools for shopping with preschoolers

Posted on August 23, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Do you dread going shopping with your preschooler? It doesn’t have to be a nightmare…although it does take some planning and prep work. Here are some ideas that may help you and your child enjoy future trips to the market and beyond!

Talk with your child beforehand about where you will be going and what you will be doing. If your child helps you with meal preparation (which is an awesome way to build self-esteem: mixing, pouring, and measuring ingredients develops confidence and competence), you can discuss what items you will need to purchase. If your child feels involved in the process, he/she will be more likely to enjoy helping you find what is needed.
Talk to your child while shopping, pointing out colors (how many different color apples do you see?), shapes (do you see the big round sign? what shape is the cereal box?), and other items of interest. Elicit responses from your child (how many pumpkins are on the shelf?).
Prepare a small backpack or drawstring or canvas bag with: a small bag of a favorite dry cereal or homemade trail mix to munch on; a non-spill cup of water or juice; a few crayons and a notebook of blank paper; a small board book or small game with moving parts…but not removable pieces that might get lost. I don’t know why a lot of parents think a small child should be happy just sitting in the shopping cart, doing NOTHING, for a few minutes or, sometimes, a few hours.
Oh yes, and on the subject of SHOPPING CARTS: if you are using one of the shopping carts provided by the store, please don’t forget to clean it out before putting your child in it. Many times a previous shopper has left used tissues or other items that you would not want your child touching.
Carry some of those anti-bacterial wipes with you…although many stores are now providing them near the carts…so that you can wipe down the surfaces of the cart where your child might put his mouth or hands. You can purchase a ready-made shopping cart cover that fits into the seat area and covers all the surfaces and can be tossed in your washing machine.
Make sure your child is seated securely and belted in.
Please, please don’t allow an older brother or sister to pull or climb on the cart while the younger child (or baby) is in it…or even when it is empty. It is scary and dangerous for all concerned when a shopping cart tumbles over.
It is hard to believe that I feel I have to mention this…but since I see it all the time in grocery and department stores, I guess I will have to: NEVER LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN UNATTENDED EVEN FOR ONE SECOND…BECAUSE THAT IS ALL THE TIME IT TAKES FOR THEM TO DISAPPEAR. The other day I was shopping and a little girl about 4 years old was wandering around, looking for her mother. I brought her to the service desk and they called the mother’s name over the intercom…no response! I asked the child what her mother was wearing and located the woman who was talking to her shopping companion and hadn’t even noticed that her child had disappeared for over five minutes. She thought someone else was watching her…the other person thought she was. So, even if your little one does not like to sit in the cart, unless you will constantly hold his/her hand, the cart is the safest place.

I hope with all those warnings, I haven’t made the thought of shopping with your preschooler even more onerous. It really can be a great fun-filled learning experience for your child…treasure every moment you have with him or her…even while shopping!

Here is a great trail mix recipe you can prepare with your child to keep on hand. Having a little bag of nutritious munchies may help keep your child from requesting the sugary candy bars and salty chips most stores display near the checkout counters.

CHILD-FRIENDLY TRAIL MIX

You will need: 1 cup unsalted peanuts or other nuts, 1 cup hulled sunflower seeds, 1 cup coconut flakes, 1 cup raisins, 1 cup dried fruit cut into small pieces, a large bowl and a package of zip-lock plastic bags.

Mix together all ingredients in a large bowl.
Store in an airtight container or large glass jar with a lid.
Scoop out a small zip-lock bagful for your child when needed.
Makes about 5 cups of trail mix.
TIP: You can make an alternative trail mix for very young children who are not old enough to manage nuts and seeds or for those who have allergies. Combine several different types of dry cereals, rounds of Melba toast, and pieces of zwieback. Your little ones will enjoy the different shapes and tastes and will be occupied while you shop.

Amanda Rock, the parenting preschoolers guide at about.com, has a lot more suggestions on this topic: http://preschoolers.about.com/od/foodnutrition/a/grocerystore.htm?nl=1

Great ideas for end-of-summer fun!

Posted on August 22, 2010 by viviankirkfield

We just got back from a five-day vacation in the mountains of Colorado. The weather was perfect. The fishing was great. The cabin was outfitted with everything you could need…even a flat-screen TV which we never turned on because we were too busy during the day having fun outdoors and too tired at night to even want to watch anything. Cell phones don’t work there and we didn’t bring the computer. And I began to realize how life was like in the days before TV and computers and phones. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the technology that allows each of us to know what is going on in the world the moment it happens. But it made me more aware of how much closer a family could be if they were more isolated from all that is happening out there or if they made an effort to spend time together without the distractions that usually keep us going in different directions.

So here’s a list of a few great ideas for end-of-summer fun that might possibly bring your family closer together and won’t cost a fortune:

Go camping…even for the day…but overnight, if possible. Rent equipment or borrow it from friends if you don’t already have what you would need.
Check out local parks, museums and art galleries. Some are free and many have special deals for families. You might even purchase a museum membership that entitles your family to special museum privileges during the year.
Have an end-of-summer get-together. If your child is going to school (or nursery school or daycare) this year, see if you can find out who will be in his/her class or group. Invite the children and their parents…what an awesome way to help your child start the year already knowing some of his classmates. The get-together can be a pot-luck with everyone bringing something to eat so that the burden of food is not all on you. Also, have each family bring a favorite game…there will certainly be plenty to do. Take lots of pictures and have your child help you make a collage or album of this special day. He/she can bring it to school for show-and-tell…great for a child who is anxious about the first day of school…something like BILLY AND THE BIG NEW SCHOOL by Laurence and Catherine Anholt.
Plan to have dinner together as a family, if possible. And please, turn the TV off and don’t answer the phone if it rings 🙂

That’s it…just a few simple suggestions…hope they help you end the summer on a high note and begin the school year in a positive way.