The Calendar Doesn’t Lie

Posted on January 18, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

I glanced at the calendar this morning and almost went into shock. January 18, 2011. The month of January is already half over and it feels like I just put away the Christmas decorations. Well, actually, I did just put away the Christmas decorations. Please tell me yours are still up so I will feel better.

So we are halfway through the first month of the new year and I think it’s time to check and see how I am doing with my goals…or New Year’s Resolutions for those of you who like that title better. Here is my list…I’ve graded myself so I can see where I need to improve or what goals I might need to modify…I’m allowed to do that, right?

BLOG EVERY DAY…A. However, I’m not sure this is something I can continue throughout the rest of the year…at least not on a daily basis. It’s not that I don’t LOVE writing…because I do. The problem is TIME or the lack of it.
EXERCISE EVERY DAY…C+. I planned on doing my 25 minute low-impact Kathy Smith aerobic sequence 4 days a week and walking a mile the other 3 days. I’ve done the 4 days a week…but have found it difficult to get out and walk the other three days. Is it the weather? It has been pretty cold and I am not a cold-weather lover…however I just got my routine blood labs back (everything normal!!!), but my doctor wants me to take a vitamin D supplement because my D is on the low end of normal…if I could just get out in the sunshine several days a week, that would probably take care of it.
DRINK 8 GLASSES OF WATER EVERY DAY…C. I need to work harder on this! Does everyone have a problem with this?
GREET EVERY DAY WITH A SMILE…A. Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt and stateswoman in her own right, said something that is so very true, “Today is a gift; that’s why they call it the present.” For me it is not too difficult because I am by nature a very positive person…but I know for some, this is not an easy task.
DO 5 THINGS EVERY DAY TO SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT MY NEW BOOK…B. It seems that no matter how much I accomplish, there is always something more I need to do. And not being too savvy about social networking often makes it take two and three times as long to post something or connect with someone. I truly welcome all feedback and insights into how I can do it better!

Giving a score of 90 for an A, 80 for a B, 75 for the C+ and 70 for the C, it looks like my report card average is an 80. Not GREAT, but not too bad. J Hopefully, with a little tweaking of the fluid intake and a little more effort on my part to get out and walk, I can improve my “grades”…but more importantly, I’ll be improving my overall health and that’s really my goal for 2011.

Do you review your goals at different times during the year to see if you are on track? And if you’re not, do you beat yourself up over it and give up for the year or do you find a way to re-motivate yourself?

Stop by tomorrow (especially if you are a parent or teacher of a preschooler) for a peek at the reading and crafting program I’m offering to local Pre-K and kindergarten classes. It’s based on the stories and crafts that appear in my new book…educational fun-filled ideas that build self-esteem, develop pre-literacy skills and create a life-long parent-child bond!

The Big Picture: Will We Ever See It?

Posted on January 17, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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One of the most amazing things about this blogging adventure is that it puts me in touch with so many other people.

Reading what others write is like living in a house with hundreds, thousands or even millions of windows…all equipped with a set of curtains, shutters, window shades or blinds. Each time you click on someone’s blog post, it is like pushing aside the curtains or opening the shutters, shades or blinds on that person’s mind…because in what they write, they are revealing their thoughts, hopes, dreams, concerns and beliefs.

Sometimes the posts are funny and sometimes they are sad. Some are informative and others are just very entertaining. But all of them have the potential of opening our minds and helping us find some inner truth we have been searching for.

This happened to me late last night as I read a post by one of my favorite bloggers: Eof737MirthandMotivation http://eof737.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/kismet-it%e2%80%99s-all-good%e2%80%a6/. She began her post with a quote that is a favorite of mine about everything happening for a reason. I do believe this is true but it got me thinking, especially in the aftermath of the Arizona tragedy, about how unfair life sometimes seems and how bad things happen to good people.

Picture you are walking down a road. This is your life’s journey. You can see what is in front of you and, if you turn your head, you can see a little to the sides and behind you as well. But you can’t see around the corner, nor do you know what you will find way down the road or what will happen if you take one of the side streets or forks in the road.

If, however, you could view the road from a plane or a point of really high elevation, you would see a lot more of what was ahead. However, you still wouldn’t be able to see the entire journey.

And perhaps that is one of the reasons why people who have a belief in God or a High Power or a Universal Creator can be more peaceful and positive about this difficult journey of life. They KNOW that there is a plan to all of this often bewildering, confusing and frustrating existence. They believe that even if they can’t see the whole journey, the Planner can, and they take comfort in that knowledge.

Whatever your beliefs, there are some basic things that we can do that will help us meet each day at our best. If you are a parent, these simple steps will help you give your children your best as well. Each day is a precious gift and should be used with loving care.

Get enough sleep…if you wake up refreshed and ready to meet the day, you’ve probably had the right amount…the number of hours needed is different for each person…but it should normally be about 8 hours…more for young people.
Eat healthy…fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nix the processed, fatty and sugary stuff and fast-food take-out.
Stay hydrated…if you feel thirsty, your body is already dehydrated…eight glasses of water may seem like an impossible feat…I know it is really hard for me.
Meditate…find at least a few minutes every day to step back, be still, and embrace peacefulness.
Keep a positive attitude..and smile…did you know that when you answer the phone, the person on the other end can tell if you are smiling?
Stay connected to others…whether you go out to work or you are home with a houseful of young children (maybe especially if you are home with a houseful of young children), social interaction is important for your well-being.

Maybe that’s why social networking has become so popular world-wide…we all have a need to be connected with others.

And where does blogging fit into the scheme of things? It allows us to share our thoughts and find out what others are saying. What do you think?

Mammy: Mainstay of the Family or Fictionalized Caricature

Posted on January 16, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image by ZacharyTirrell via Flickr

If you’ve seen the movie, Gone with the Wind, you’ll probably agree that one of the most endearing characters is that of Mammy, Scarlett’s outspoken but loyal house servant/slave. The movie Mammy seems to rule, not only the other slaves, but also the master, mistress and their children. Her advice is sought-after and everyone relies upon her to keep the household running smoothly. In fact, sometimes it seems she is more Mommy than Mammy.

After doing some research, I discovered that the character of Mammy (and mammies in general) is really a figment of the imagination of writers, movie directors and an entire advertising campaign set in motion to serve the political, social, and economic interests of mainstream white America both before and after slavery ended. However, since this is a post about the parenting skills and traits of the characters in Gone with the Wind, I’ll comment on Mammy as she appears in her role in the movie and leave the issues of slavery and its ramifications to the experts in that field.

So what type of “parent” is Mammy?

1. She gives unconditional love…even when she is scolding, we know she REALLY loves her charges…and they know it as well!

2. She sets rules and expects them to be followed, but is willing to negotiate in order to enforce those she deems most important. In one of the first scenes in the movie, Mammy is insisting that Scarlet eat her breakfast before attending the barbecue and festivities because it was a social disaster for a young lady to eat too much in front of others. But Scarlet wants to enjoy the barbecue and doesn’t care about social etiquette. She also wants to wear a dress that is too low cut for an afternoon party and so Mammy tells her that she can wear the dress with a shawl over it IF she eats her breakfast. A bribe, perhaps, but isn’t that the same as when we tell our children they can have their dessert IF they finish their dinner?

3. She is concerned for the safety of her “children”. When Scarlett decides to go to the city to try to get $300 from Rhett Butler to pay the taxes on the plantation, Mammy insists on accompanying her to make sure no harm comes to her.

4. She is willing to admit when she is wrong. Mammy’s opinion of Rhett undergoes a big change when she sees what a loving and caring father he is. By wearing the red taffeta petticoat Rhett had given her years before, she is declares her approval of him and even tells him that she had misjudged him.

Parents have a difficult job, no doubt about it. What parenting tips did we uncover from this examination of the characters in Gone With The Wind?

Give your children unconditional love and be supportive in all situations
Set rules and be consistent about the rules and the consequences for breaking them
Lead by example and be willing to admit when you are wrong
Be respectful of their opinions and attentive to what they have to say
Encourage them to have friends and get to know the parents of their friends
Help your children learn to set goals and follow through on reaching them
Instill a sense of hopefulness in your children
Provide a safe environment for your children
Spend time with your children, joyfully participating with them in various activities
Encourage your children to try new experiences and master tasks and skills

It was fun looking at these characters with a parenting state of mind. I hope these last few posts provided some entertainment and also some useful parenting tips.