Is your child anxious about starting school?

Posted on July 29, 2010 by viviankirkfield

With just a few days left to July, all parents know that school is just around the corner.

Do you have a young child who is anxious about starting school? Is it his first experience away from home? These days, many children do have experience at nursery schools, daycare, and other facilities where they have taken part in sports, dance or other activities. Even those children, however, may be fearful of a new school, unknown teacher, and unfamiliar children.

How can you help relieve your child’s anxiety? What can you do to help make that first day of school one of joyous expectation?

Acknowledge your child’s feelings. We sometimes gloss over their fears and anxieties by telling them, “It will be fine. Don’t worry about it.” Worse still would be a response of “Don’t be a baby! There’s nothing to be afraid of.” For that child, there obviously is. Perhaps it would be more helpful to just listen if they are expressing their feelings. Maybe you can share similar feelings you might have had as a child.
Visit the school before the first day. Many schools offer opportunities for new students to spend some time in a classroom before the term starts. Take some photos of the school, classroom and your child in that setting and hang the pictures in your home. This will help your child feel more comfortable about going to this “new” place.
Read one or more of several children’s picture books that target the anxieties young children have regarding the first day of school. During my years as a kindergarten teacher, daycare provider and mother of three, I used picture book stories to help children cope with many of the issues they faced as they were growing up. Teaming up the story with an eco-friendly craft project and a child-friendly healthful cooking activity is a great way to encourage discussion, build self-esteem, and create a life-long parent-child bond.

Here are 3 books and accompanying activities that might help your child face the first day of school with eagerness and anticipation instead of reluctance and anxiety.

TAKE A KISS TO SCHOOL: written by Angela McAllister (For the craft activity, you can make a food chart using pictures cut from magazines and pasted on a piece of construction paper. What foods do animals eat? What foods do people eat? For the cooking experience, make pita pocket (instead of the coat pocket into which Digby put his mother’s kisses) sandwiches using store-bought whole wheat pita bread, chicken sliced from a baked chicken cutlet, lettuce, tomato, sprouts and mashed avocado.)

BILLY AND THE BIG NEW SCHOOL: written by Laurence Anholt (For the craft activity, you can make a bird feeder using 2 slices of stale bread broken in small pieces, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, 1/4 cup chopped carrot or apple and some nuts. Make a ball, press a piece of string into the center and roll in 1/2 cup wild birdseed. When hardened, hang on a tree and watch the birds feed. For the cooking experience, make breakfast granola using 2 cups old-fashioned oatmeal, 1/2 cup shredded coconut, 1/2 cup hulled sunflower seeds, 1 Tb honey, 1 Tb canola oil, 1/2 cup raisins, 1/2 tsp cinnamon. Put all ingredients, except raisins, into a large microwave-safe bowl and mix well. Microwave on high for 2 minutes. Stir well and microwave for another 2 minutes. Stir well again and microwave for 1 minute. Stir in the raisins and let cool. Store in an airtight container. Makes about 4-5 cups of preservative-free delicious granola.)

THE KISSING HAND: written by Audrey Penn (For the craft activity, you can make clay handprints. I still have the ones my children made almost 30 years ago. You can use store-bought clay or make your own. Work the clay into a ball and roll it flat…about 1/2 inch thick. Put the flattened clay on a piece of cardboard and position your child’s hand, fingers spread slightly, in the center. Help your child press her hand into the clay. Let dry overnight. For the cooking experience, make thumbprint cookies. Cream 1 cup canola oil and 1/2 cup honey in a large bowl. Beat in 1 egg and 1 tsp vanilla. Gradually add 3 cups flour and 1/2 tsp salt. Roll a tablespoonful of dough into a ball and then roll it in a saucer that has 1/2 cup sugar in it. Put each ball on an ungreased cookie sheet, spacing the balls about 2 inches apart. Press down lightly on each ball with your thumb (or your child’s thumb) and fill each depression with jelly or jam. Bake 10 to 12 minutes at 350 degrees until the cookies are lightly browned. Remove from cookie sheet when cooled. Makes about 4 dozen.)

I hope this helps parents with children who are anxious about the first day of school. I know it helped mine. For more information and support on this issue, go to http://childrensbooks.about.com/b/2010/07/28/august-blog-carnival.htm where Elizabeth Kennedy is hosting a blog carnival about this topic.

Mastering tasks and skills

Posted on July 17, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Building self-esteem is an ongoing life-long task. But the foundations of it are laid in the first five years of a person’s life. As parents, we need to start in the very beginning and try to ABP…always be positive…not easy to do, I know.

One of the most important components of developing high self-esteem is mastering tasks and skills. When children are able to DO something themselves (lace up shoes, brush his own teeth, write her name, get dressed by himself, help set the table, etc.), they gain a sense of confidence and competence that encourages them to tackle new challenges.

Here is an excerpt from my new book, SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING.

A great picture book to read to your young child:

LEO THE LATE BLOOMER: written by Robert Kraus and illustrated y Jose Aruego

Story summary: A little lion named Leo is unable to do the things his animal friends can do, such as write his name, draw a picture, eat neatly and talk. His father is very worried and questions Leo’s mother. She reassures him that Leo will learn to do everything in his own time. In the end, she is proved right and Leo masters all these skills with great finesse.

Positive Parental Participation Note: Parents are often tempted to compare one child in the family to another, or they read a book on child development and carefully note at what age their child should be walking or talking or mastering one skill or another. Of course, it is important to be aware of the various stages of a child’s physical, intellectual and emotional development because the earlier a problem is detected, the faster help can be obtained. However, it is also important to realize that each child matures at his or her own pace.

COOKING: CHILD-FRIENDLY LION’S CANDY

These healthful candies are out-of-this-world…and so easy to make. Your child’s self-esteem will bloom right before your eyes as he helps to prepare this delicious treat.

You will need: 1/2 cup peanut (or other nut) butter, 1/2 cup ground sunflower seeds, 1/4 cup instant dry milk, 1 Tb honey, 1/2 cup finely chopped raisins, dates or other dried fruit, 1/2 cup cocoa (optional) and a large bowl.

Blend together nut butter and ground sunflower seeds.
Stir in dry milk, honey and dried fruit. Mix well (with hands, if necessary).
If the mixture is too dry, add some liquid milk; if too wet, add more dry milk.
Form into teaspoon-sized balls. Roll in cocoa powder, if desired.
Makes about two-dozen balls. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Bad day? Bake some bread!

Posted on July 12, 2010 by viviankirkfield

We all have bad days…alarm fails to go off and everyone is late, coffeemaker filter had a hole in it and your mouth is full of coffee grounds, you’ve just finished buttoning and zipping your toddler’s outfit and he spills his breakfast all over it…and these are the little things. Health, relationships, finances…we won’t even go there!

Life can definitely be frustrating. I’ve found that baking bread, especially with young children, can lift your spirits, help lessen anxiety and get rid of negative feelings (all that kneading and punching down the dough…I think bakers must be among the most peaceful people in the world). It also provides a wonderful activity (with science and math concepts) for you and your preschooler AND everyone gets to enjoy delicious homemade bread!

When my children were young, we baked bread at least twice a week. They had fun. The house smelled like heaven. Here is a recipe for their favorite bread.

CHILD-FRIENDLY SWEET WHEAT BREAD

You will need: 2 cups warm milk, 2 packages of yeast, 1/2 cup canola oil, 1/2 cup honey, 1 egg beaten, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp vanilla, 1/2 cup wheat germ (optional), 5 cups (or a little more) flour, 1 Tb milk, 1 Tb honey, large bowl and 2 lightly greased loaf pans.

Combine milk and yeast in large bowl and mix well. Then beat in 1 cup flour.
Add canola oil, honey, egg, salt, vanilla and wheat germ and beat well.
Add enough flour (about 4 cups) gradually, mixing till you can knead the dough.
Knead 5-10 minutes (you can give your child a small piece of his own to work on), keeping a little flour nearby for your hands if the dough is too sticky.
Put kneaded dough in a lightly greased bowl and cover with a clean cloth (dish towel is fine) and let rise for about an hour. Then punch down(YES! Get rid of all those negative feelings…you and your child will be laughing by the time you finish punching the dough) and shape into loaves and let rise till a finger mark remains when you press a finger into the dough (about 1/2 hour).
Heat the oven to 350 degrees and bake about 25 minutes. Brush tops with milk and honey, if desired, and bake 5 more minutes. Cool on wire racks.
Makes 2 regular-size loaves or 4 or 5 mini-loaves.

The new parenting book I’ve just written has quite a few delicious, child-friendly bread recipes that have been favorites in our home for decades. Encourage your young children to help with the planning and preparation of family meals. It will provide a GREAT boost to their self-esteem. Positive parental participation develops a life-long parent-child bond.

So, make it a GOOD day…bake some bread!

Have any healthy, child-friendly recipes to share? I’m going to be setting up a contest to solicit recipes for my next book…winners get a free copy of the book (SHOW ME HOW! CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAYS THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING) and their recipe will appear in the book with credit given to them.