Help! Where Am I? I’m Lost!

Posted on January 19, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

It was a cold gray late afternoon in New York City.

I was on my way home from a student teaching assignment in an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn. Leaving the school, I quickly walked to the subway station and boarded the train that would take me home. As the train pulled away from the very next stop, I realized that the name of that station was not one I recognized. Now I watched carefully as the train pulled into the next few stops. More unfamiliar names! A sick feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I had gotten on the wrong train!

I must admit that I panicked. I got off at the next stop. Instead of finding a uniformed security person and asking which train I should board to return to the right route, I ran up the subway stairs, hailed the first cab that passed by, gave him my address and sat back, heart pounding.

It was an expensive lesson…the cab ride cost me $10 and that was A LOT of money in those days…but I did get home safely, so I guess it was worth it.

Have you ever been lost? Maybe there was a detour and you found yourself driving around and around, wondering which road to take. Perhaps you went for a hike on a park trail and meandered off to look at some interesting rock formations or a bunch of wild flowers and now you are not sure which way to go to return to the main path.

Many young children also worry about getting lost or separated from those they love. Although we want to encourage curiosity and independence, we are responsible for keeping our children safe from harm. Teaching your child his name, address and phone number, and what to do in case he is ever lost is very important and will enable him to feel more confident about his own ability to deal with such a situation. Reassure your child that you will always find him, no matter what…this will contribute to his feeling of safety.

You can also help children talk about their concerns by reading picture book stories that address the issue of getting lost. While you read the story, a window of opportunity for discussion opens…so please take advantage of it. Here’s one story suggestion on that topic:

ANGUS LOST written and illustrated by Marjorie Flack

This is a classic in children’s picture books. The copyright date is 1931 and the illustrations hearken by to a bygone era. That might be part of the charm of the story and you and your child can have a wonderful conversation about how milk was delivered in the olden days. J

Angus, a little terrier, is bored with his home and yard and he decides to see what the world is like. After several scary adventures, Angus wants very much to go home, but he cannot find his way. He spends the night hiding in a cave, trembling in fear the entire time. In the morning, he hears the familiar sound of the milkman’s horse and wagon and he eagerly follows them from house to house as the milkman makes his deliveries. Finally, Angus recognizes his very own yard and is relieved to be home at last.

After you read the story and talk about it, perhaps you and your child would like to make some “real” butter.

CHILD-FRIENDLY HOMEMADE BUTTER

You will need: 1 cup heavy whipping cream, electric mixer and a large bowl.

1. Pour the cream into the bowl and beat on medium until stiff peaks are formed (about 2-3 minutes). This is REAL WHIPPED CREAM!!!

2. Continue beating (4-8 minutes) and you will see the curds separate from the whey. You can sing “Little Miss Muffet” with your child while you are doing this and do the finger play later.

3. Pour off the whey and you will be left with a lump of pure butter.

4. Enjoy with crackers, bread or toast.

5. Put the leftover butter in a covered container and store in the refrigerator.

6. Instead of using the electric mixer, you could put the cream in a glass jar with a lid and shake…but this will take 5-30 minutes…and everyone’s hands will be tired.

Stop by tomorrow for another story suggestion and activity from my book. And I’ll tell you about the time I spent SIX HOURS reading Little Women while my mother and half the staff of a major New York department store searched for me.

WE ALL NEED A CHEERING COMMITTEE AND PARENTS ARE A CHILD’S MOST IMPORTANT FANS!

The Big Picture: Will We Ever See It?

Posted on January 17, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image via Wikipedia

One of the most amazing things about this blogging adventure is that it puts me in touch with so many other people.

Reading what others write is like living in a house with hundreds, thousands or even millions of windows…all equipped with a set of curtains, shutters, window shades or blinds. Each time you click on someone’s blog post, it is like pushing aside the curtains or opening the shutters, shades or blinds on that person’s mind…because in what they write, they are revealing their thoughts, hopes, dreams, concerns and beliefs.

Sometimes the posts are funny and sometimes they are sad. Some are informative and others are just very entertaining. But all of them have the potential of opening our minds and helping us find some inner truth we have been searching for.

This happened to me late last night as I read a post by one of my favorite bloggers: Eof737MirthandMotivation http://eof737.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/kismet-it%e2%80%99s-all-good%e2%80%a6/. She began her post with a quote that is a favorite of mine about everything happening for a reason. I do believe this is true but it got me thinking, especially in the aftermath of the Arizona tragedy, about how unfair life sometimes seems and how bad things happen to good people.

Picture you are walking down a road. This is your life’s journey. You can see what is in front of you and, if you turn your head, you can see a little to the sides and behind you as well. But you can’t see around the corner, nor do you know what you will find way down the road or what will happen if you take one of the side streets or forks in the road.

If, however, you could view the road from a plane or a point of really high elevation, you would see a lot more of what was ahead. However, you still wouldn’t be able to see the entire journey.

And perhaps that is one of the reasons why people who have a belief in God or a High Power or a Universal Creator can be more peaceful and positive about this difficult journey of life. They KNOW that there is a plan to all of this often bewildering, confusing and frustrating existence. They believe that even if they can’t see the whole journey, the Planner can, and they take comfort in that knowledge.

Whatever your beliefs, there are some basic things that we can do that will help us meet each day at our best. If you are a parent, these simple steps will help you give your children your best as well. Each day is a precious gift and should be used with loving care.

Get enough sleep…if you wake up refreshed and ready to meet the day, you’ve probably had the right amount…the number of hours needed is different for each person…but it should normally be about 8 hours…more for young people.
Eat healthy…fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nix the processed, fatty and sugary stuff and fast-food take-out.
Stay hydrated…if you feel thirsty, your body is already dehydrated…eight glasses of water may seem like an impossible feat…I know it is really hard for me.
Meditate…find at least a few minutes every day to step back, be still, and embrace peacefulness.
Keep a positive attitude..and smile…did you know that when you answer the phone, the person on the other end can tell if you are smiling?
Stay connected to others…whether you go out to work or you are home with a houseful of young children (maybe especially if you are home with a houseful of young children), social interaction is important for your well-being.

Maybe that’s why social networking has become so popular world-wide…we all have a need to be connected with others.

And where does blogging fit into the scheme of things? It allows us to share our thoughts and find out what others are saying. What do you think?

Mammy: Mainstay of the Family or Fictionalized Caricature

Posted on January 16, 2011 by viviankirkfield

Image by ZacharyTirrell via Flickr

If you’ve seen the movie, Gone with the Wind, you’ll probably agree that one of the most endearing characters is that of Mammy, Scarlett’s outspoken but loyal house servant/slave. The movie Mammy seems to rule, not only the other slaves, but also the master, mistress and their children. Her advice is sought-after and everyone relies upon her to keep the household running smoothly. In fact, sometimes it seems she is more Mommy than Mammy.

After doing some research, I discovered that the character of Mammy (and mammies in general) is really a figment of the imagination of writers, movie directors and an entire advertising campaign set in motion to serve the political, social, and economic interests of mainstream white America both before and after slavery ended. However, since this is a post about the parenting skills and traits of the characters in Gone with the Wind, I’ll comment on Mammy as she appears in her role in the movie and leave the issues of slavery and its ramifications to the experts in that field.

So what type of “parent” is Mammy?

1. She gives unconditional love…even when she is scolding, we know she REALLY loves her charges…and they know it as well!

2. She sets rules and expects them to be followed, but is willing to negotiate in order to enforce those she deems most important. In one of the first scenes in the movie, Mammy is insisting that Scarlet eat her breakfast before attending the barbecue and festivities because it was a social disaster for a young lady to eat too much in front of others. But Scarlet wants to enjoy the barbecue and doesn’t care about social etiquette. She also wants to wear a dress that is too low cut for an afternoon party and so Mammy tells her that she can wear the dress with a shawl over it IF she eats her breakfast. A bribe, perhaps, but isn’t that the same as when we tell our children they can have their dessert IF they finish their dinner?

3. She is concerned for the safety of her “children”. When Scarlett decides to go to the city to try to get $300 from Rhett Butler to pay the taxes on the plantation, Mammy insists on accompanying her to make sure no harm comes to her.

4. She is willing to admit when she is wrong. Mammy’s opinion of Rhett undergoes a big change when she sees what a loving and caring father he is. By wearing the red taffeta petticoat Rhett had given her years before, she is declares her approval of him and even tells him that she had misjudged him.

Parents have a difficult job, no doubt about it. What parenting tips did we uncover from this examination of the characters in Gone With The Wind?

Give your children unconditional love and be supportive in all situations
Set rules and be consistent about the rules and the consequences for breaking them
Lead by example and be willing to admit when you are wrong
Be respectful of their opinions and attentive to what they have to say
Encourage them to have friends and get to know the parents of their friends
Help your children learn to set goals and follow through on reaching them
Instill a sense of hopefulness in your children
Provide a safe environment for your children
Spend time with your children, joyfully participating with them in various activities
Encourage your children to try new experiences and master tasks and skills

It was fun looking at these characters with a parenting state of mind. I hope these last few posts provided some entertainment and also some useful parenting tips.