Andy Rooney: Life is like a gadget drawer

Posted on July 19, 2010 by viviankirkfield

This morning I wrote a post about yesterday’s 60 Minutes segment with Andy Rooney. As the day went on, I began to think about how a kitchen gadget drawer is a lot like life and parenting. We accumulate “stuff” during our life…material things like cars, homes, appliances, clothing, lamps, and books…sometimes doubles and triples of items we don’t even use. We store up memories, both good and bad (the bad ones sometimes haunting us as we try to move forward with our lives). We hold on to feelings, even the negative ones (sometimes especially the negative ones). And, when it comes to parenting, we often repeat behaviors of our own parents we swore we would never do. Have you ever said something to your child and looked around to see if your mother was standing there, because what came out of your mouth was something you had often heard her say.

I think this happens to most of us. Maybe I can take Andy Rooney’s advice and dump out everything in the drawer (of my behavior, reactions to others, feelings, memories), look it over, and make sure I want to keep it before I put it back.

But I doubt it will be as easy as cleaning the kitchen gadget drawer.

Mastering tasks and skills

Posted on July 17, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Building self-esteem is an ongoing life-long task. But the foundations of it are laid in the first five years of a person’s life. As parents, we need to start in the very beginning and try to ABP…always be positive…not easy to do, I know.

One of the most important components of developing high self-esteem is mastering tasks and skills. When children are able to DO something themselves (lace up shoes, brush his own teeth, write her name, get dressed by himself, help set the table, etc.), they gain a sense of confidence and competence that encourages them to tackle new challenges.

Here is an excerpt from my new book, SHOW ME HOW! BUILD YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH READING, CRAFTING AND COOKING.

A great picture book to read to your young child:

LEO THE LATE BLOOMER: written by Robert Kraus and illustrated y Jose Aruego

Story summary: A little lion named Leo is unable to do the things his animal friends can do, such as write his name, draw a picture, eat neatly and talk. His father is very worried and questions Leo’s mother. She reassures him that Leo will learn to do everything in his own time. In the end, she is proved right and Leo masters all these skills with great finesse.

Positive Parental Participation Note: Parents are often tempted to compare one child in the family to another, or they read a book on child development and carefully note at what age their child should be walking or talking or mastering one skill or another. Of course, it is important to be aware of the various stages of a child’s physical, intellectual and emotional development because the earlier a problem is detected, the faster help can be obtained. However, it is also important to realize that each child matures at his or her own pace.

COOKING: CHILD-FRIENDLY LION’S CANDY

These healthful candies are out-of-this-world…and so easy to make. Your child’s self-esteem will bloom right before your eyes as he helps to prepare this delicious treat.

You will need: 1/2 cup peanut (or other nut) butter, 1/2 cup ground sunflower seeds, 1/4 cup instant dry milk, 1 Tb honey, 1/2 cup finely chopped raisins, dates or other dried fruit, 1/2 cup cocoa (optional) and a large bowl.

Blend together nut butter and ground sunflower seeds.
Stir in dry milk, honey and dried fruit. Mix well (with hands, if necessary).
If the mixture is too dry, add some liquid milk; if too wet, add more dry milk.
Form into teaspoon-sized balls. Roll in cocoa powder, if desired.
Makes about two-dozen balls. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Steinbrenner – Parenting: Where’s the Connection?

Posted on July 14, 2010 by viviankirkfield

Today I read about the death of George Steinbrenner, principal owner and managing partner of the New York Yankees.

Although many may have disagreed with his controversial policies and decisions, I think most people would say he devoted his life to his team, even those players and managers who were fined and fired (and often rehired) at his direction.

He led the Yankees to 11 Pennants and 7 World Series titles. He was tough on his players, instituting a ban on most facial hair, and he insisted that all players, coaches and executives keep their hair trimmed to collar-length at most. He negotiated for higher salaries for his team. He was definitely a hands-on owner.

So, why do I say there is a connection between George Steinbrenner and parenting?

Let’s look at a list of some of the key phrases that we could use to describe him:

Devoted his life to his team
Led his team to victory many times
Tough on his players
Instituted controversial policies and made decisions not always approved of by team members
Was a hands-on owner involved in the day-to-day workings of the team

George Steinbrenner’s style of “parenting” his team is probably NOT the one that you or I would want to use for our children. However, most good parents:

Make many decisions that are not always approved of by their children.
Have times when they need to be tough on their children.
Devote a good part of their lives to raising their children the best way they know how.
Encourage their children to master tasks and skills and celebrate each victory they experience.
Are hands-on parents.

Perhaps the biggest difference was that George Steinbrenner did not embrace the “POSITIVE parental participation” philosophy. Maybe if he had, the media would have been kinder to him.