Just Leave Me Alone…I’m Reading!

Posted on January 20, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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I held my mother’s hand as we approached the impressive façade of the eight-story building, my older sister excitedly chattering about the dress she was going to buy to wear at her junior high school graduation. Located in downtown Brooklyn, Abraham &Strauss was a well-known department store with floors and floors of the finest merchandise.

Taking the elevator to the eighth floor, we entered a paradise for book lovers! Wall-to-wall books…and in between…tables and tables of books. Admonishing me to stay there and find something to read, my mother and sister left for the dress department.

I know you are probably shocked and horrified that any mother would leave a nine-year old girl alone in a department store in New York City. Looking back on the experience, I’m also surprised that she did…but it was another time…over 50 years ago…and people felt a lot safer, even though perhaps they weren’t.

So I wandered around, happy as a clam (are clams happy?), picking up this book and that book and just reveling in the ecstasy of having so many books at my disposal. I finally choose LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa May Alcott, one of my favorites. I sat down on the floor and proceeded to read the entire book from cover to cover. When I am engrossed in a book, the world outside of the book ceases to exist for me. Is it that way for you? I had no watch…time stood still for me until I finished the last page and closed the book. And crawled out of my quiet little cubbyhole under one of the tables.

THERE SHE IS!!!! I saw my mother and sister running towards me. Several policemen, uniformed store security guards and sales clerks were with them. Later, my mother explained that after several hours of shopping for my sister’s dress, they returned to the book department, but couldn’t find me (I am very petite and at age nine, I was pretty small…I had found a little cubbyhole under one of the tables). Store personnel and the police were called in to help search throughout the entire store because they believed I had walked away from the book department. Walk away from a book department? It’s obvious they didn’t know the real Vivian!

I’m sure my mother never did that again…but at no time during the experience was I frightened or concerned. I didn’t think I was lost in the store…I was lost in the world of the book…and I was very happy there. And, although I wasn’t afraid that day, the fear of getting lost or being separated from a loved one is one of the most common concerns of young children. Here’s another great children’s picture book that you can read with your child that will help open a discussion about this issue.

DON’T WORRY, I’LL FIND YOU written and illustrated by Anna Grossnickle Hines

Sarah and her mother go to the mall to buy Sarah some new clothes. The little girl insists on taking her doll, Abigail. After a long and tiring morning of visiting lots of stores and trying on lots of clothing, Sarah puts Abigail on a chair while she tries on shoes and forgets to take her doll when she and her mother leave the store. Passing a toy store, Sarah remembers that she has left her doll behind and she hurries back to the shoe store without telling her mother. Although she finds Abigail right away, she soon realizes that she has lost her mother. Remembering her mother’s instructions to “stay put”, Sarah goes back to the toy store and waits there. Meanwhile, Sarah’s mother has been checking all the stores and soon mother and child are reunited.

I’m sure Sarah’s mother was tempted to scold her daughter, not only for walking away on her own, but also for bringing the doll, even though she had been advised by her mother to leave the doll at home. Instead, she chose to commend her daughter for obeying her instructions to stay where she was in case she got lost. In the future, Sarah will be more likely to follow other rules she is given and, even though she was frightened, she was able to keep some amount of control in the situation by following her mother’s instructions.

Three great tips to talk about during the discussion with your child after reading the story:

1. Your child should know his name, address and phone number. Teach your child your first name also.

2. If you get separated, STAY PUT!

3. Seek help from a uniformed person or a woman with children.

Stop by tomorrow for one last “getting separated” picture book suggestion and a couple of fun-filled activities.

WE ALL NEED A CHEERING COMMITTEE AND PARENTS ARE A CHILD’S MOST IMPORTANT FANS!

Help! Where Am I? I’m Lost!

Posted on January 19, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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It was a cold gray late afternoon in New York City.

I was on my way home from a student teaching assignment in an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn. Leaving the school, I quickly walked to the subway station and boarded the train that would take me home. As the train pulled away from the very next stop, I realized that the name of that station was not one I recognized. Now I watched carefully as the train pulled into the next few stops. More unfamiliar names! A sick feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I had gotten on the wrong train!

I must admit that I panicked. I got off at the next stop. Instead of finding a uniformed security person and asking which train I should board to return to the right route, I ran up the subway stairs, hailed the first cab that passed by, gave him my address and sat back, heart pounding.

It was an expensive lesson…the cab ride cost me $10 and that was A LOT of money in those days…but I did get home safely, so I guess it was worth it.

Have you ever been lost? Maybe there was a detour and you found yourself driving around and around, wondering which road to take. Perhaps you went for a hike on a park trail and meandered off to look at some interesting rock formations or a bunch of wild flowers and now you are not sure which way to go to return to the main path.

Many young children also worry about getting lost or separated from those they love. Although we want to encourage curiosity and independence, we are responsible for keeping our children safe from harm. Teaching your child his name, address and phone number, and what to do in case he is ever lost is very important and will enable him to feel more confident about his own ability to deal with such a situation. Reassure your child that you will always find him, no matter what…this will contribute to his feeling of safety.

You can also help children talk about their concerns by reading picture book stories that address the issue of getting lost. While you read the story, a window of opportunity for discussion opens…so please take advantage of it. Here’s one story suggestion on that topic:

ANGUS LOST written and illustrated by Marjorie Flack

This is a classic in children’s picture books. The copyright date is 1931 and the illustrations hearken by to a bygone era. That might be part of the charm of the story and you and your child can have a wonderful conversation about how milk was delivered in the olden days. J

Angus, a little terrier, is bored with his home and yard and he decides to see what the world is like. After several scary adventures, Angus wants very much to go home, but he cannot find his way. He spends the night hiding in a cave, trembling in fear the entire time. In the morning, he hears the familiar sound of the milkman’s horse and wagon and he eagerly follows them from house to house as the milkman makes his deliveries. Finally, Angus recognizes his very own yard and is relieved to be home at last.

After you read the story and talk about it, perhaps you and your child would like to make some “real” butter.

CHILD-FRIENDLY HOMEMADE BUTTER

You will need: 1 cup heavy whipping cream, electric mixer and a large bowl.

1. Pour the cream into the bowl and beat on medium until stiff peaks are formed (about 2-3 minutes). This is REAL WHIPPED CREAM!!!

2. Continue beating (4-8 minutes) and you will see the curds separate from the whey. You can sing “Little Miss Muffet” with your child while you are doing this and do the finger play later.

3. Pour off the whey and you will be left with a lump of pure butter.

4. Enjoy with crackers, bread or toast.

5. Put the leftover butter in a covered container and store in the refrigerator.

6. Instead of using the electric mixer, you could put the cream in a glass jar with a lid and shake…but this will take 5-30 minutes…and everyone’s hands will be tired.

Stop by tomorrow for another story suggestion and activity from my book. And I’ll tell you about the time I spent SIX HOURS reading Little Women while my mother and half the staff of a major New York department store searched for me.

WE ALL NEED A CHEERING COMMITTEE AND PARENTS ARE A CHILD’S MOST IMPORTANT FANS!

The Big Picture: Will We Ever See It?

Posted on January 17, 2011 by viviankirkfield

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One of the most amazing things about this blogging adventure is that it puts me in touch with so many other people.

Reading what others write is like living in a house with hundreds, thousands or even millions of windows…all equipped with a set of curtains, shutters, window shades or blinds. Each time you click on someone’s blog post, it is like pushing aside the curtains or opening the shutters, shades or blinds on that person’s mind…because in what they write, they are revealing their thoughts, hopes, dreams, concerns and beliefs.

Sometimes the posts are funny and sometimes they are sad. Some are informative and others are just very entertaining. But all of them have the potential of opening our minds and helping us find some inner truth we have been searching for.

This happened to me late last night as I read a post by one of my favorite bloggers: Eof737MirthandMotivation http://eof737.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/kismet-it%e2%80%99s-all-good%e2%80%a6/. She began her post with a quote that is a favorite of mine about everything happening for a reason. I do believe this is true but it got me thinking, especially in the aftermath of the Arizona tragedy, about how unfair life sometimes seems and how bad things happen to good people.

Picture you are walking down a road. This is your life’s journey. You can see what is in front of you and, if you turn your head, you can see a little to the sides and behind you as well. But you can’t see around the corner, nor do you know what you will find way down the road or what will happen if you take one of the side streets or forks in the road.

If, however, you could view the road from a plane or a point of really high elevation, you would see a lot more of what was ahead. However, you still wouldn’t be able to see the entire journey.

And perhaps that is one of the reasons why people who have a belief in God or a High Power or a Universal Creator can be more peaceful and positive about this difficult journey of life. They KNOW that there is a plan to all of this often bewildering, confusing and frustrating existence. They believe that even if they can’t see the whole journey, the Planner can, and they take comfort in that knowledge.

Whatever your beliefs, there are some basic things that we can do that will help us meet each day at our best. If you are a parent, these simple steps will help you give your children your best as well. Each day is a precious gift and should be used with loving care.

Get enough sleep…if you wake up refreshed and ready to meet the day, you’ve probably had the right amount…the number of hours needed is different for each person…but it should normally be about 8 hours…more for young people.
Eat healthy…fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nix the processed, fatty and sugary stuff and fast-food take-out.
Stay hydrated…if you feel thirsty, your body is already dehydrated…eight glasses of water may seem like an impossible feat…I know it is really hard for me.
Meditate…find at least a few minutes every day to step back, be still, and embrace peacefulness.
Keep a positive attitude..and smile…did you know that when you answer the phone, the person on the other end can tell if you are smiling?
Stay connected to others…whether you go out to work or you are home with a houseful of young children (maybe especially if you are home with a houseful of young children), social interaction is important for your well-being.